Holding it Together
by WolfMarauder
Summary: When the Ministry passes new werewolf legislation, how will Tonks react? Can she protect Remus and their relationship? AU RLNT OotP timeframe My first story, so constructive feedback would be greatly appreciated! Now rated T because I am paranoid. *Revisions to bad formatting in early chapters underway, currently up to Ch. 3
1. Goodbye

**After several requests and much procrastination, I am finally reformatting the first few chapters of this story. I am mostly just fixing paragraphs and any other mistakes I notice (I am so bad at proofreading my own work!). There won't be any major changes to plot, but if I come across a detail that I want to tweak, I am going to take this opportunity to do it. I don't even think I am going to change the Author's Notes.**

**I just reread this and realized how absolutely horrible it was to read before. Thank you to everyone who didn't give up after one chapter!**

**Since I forgot to do this the first time around... I don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p>"Do you really have to go?" Tonks sighed, her face buried in Remus' fuzzy woolen jumper.<p>

"I will be back before you know it, Dora. I am the only one who can do this."

She had no choice but to agree. He was going to live with Greyback's pack in the wilderness. Only a fellow werewolf would be accepted. That fact alone did not ease Tonk's nerves.

"It is three months. That is three full moons with no wolfsbane. Are you sure you will be okay?"

Remus paled a bit at the reminder, but he reassured her just the same. "I will be fine. Moony will have other wolves to play with."

Tonks did not say anything in response to his weak attempt at a joke, but she was worried about what the other wolves' idea of "play" would be. After all, he was not like them. What if they did more damage to him than he would have done to himself?

"Come now, I am a grown man. You forget that for many years I transformed without wolfsbane and with no one to take care of me in the morning. I will, however, miss your TLC on the mornings after. You have made me quite spoiled."

Tonks stared him in the eye for a long moment, and then a little smile played across her lips. "Good. Remember that. Make sure you come back to me so I can patch you up when this is all over."

He smiled in return and pressed his lips to hers. "Don't worry; I will."

Remus turned to see the sun sinking over the horizon. "I had better go if I want to make it before night fall. Keep yourself safe. I love you." He pulled her close, burying his face in her spiky pink hair.

"I love you, too. I am going to miss you so much." She almost regretted saying it; she did not want to give him a guilt trip, but she wanted him to remember she would be waiting.

"Me too. Look on the bright side. When I get back, we have a wedding to plan. Our future is just starting, Dora, and I wouldn't miss that for the world." Remus kissed the ring on her finger- a moonstone flanked by two pink stones- and then kissed her lips. He began pulling away, but Tonks pulled him back for one more gentle, lingering kiss. He released her and grabbed his rucksack filled with his shabbiest clothes. With one last longing glace over his shoulder, he was gone. Tonks stared at the place he had disappeared for a long moment, and then turned back to the door of headquarters.

A month later, Tonks was a nervous wreck. The weeks had been dragging toward this point; her stress levels were approaching a fever pitch. Her distractions, provided by a busy schedule of Auror and Order work, were losing their effectiveness. Lately, she had been spending the bulk of her free time with Sirius in the basement kitchen of headquarters. She had promised Remus she would babysit Sirius while he was away, but she often felt as if it was Molly babysitting both of them. She bustled about the kitchen, forcing them to eat, whether they wanted to or not. Tonks had not felt much like eating as of late, what with anxiety beating her from the inside out.

Tonight Molly was tutting in disapproval as Sirius reached for the firewhiskey, pouring himself and Tonks each a generous glass. They both glared at the motherly witch. She was no lush, but Tonks was really stressed. If she had a glass or two to unwind, why was that any of Molly's business? She was a responsible adult; she wasn't even getting drunk. No, her night cap was none of Molly Weasley's business. At least she was keeping Sirius from drinking himself into oblivion. She wasn't completely failing in her babysitting duties.

The full moon was tonight- the first since he left- and Tonks could not shake the feeling that something was going to go terribly wrong. Her hair had not been the right shade of pink for a week now; the best she could do was a dusty rose. She understood that it was imperative that he not be found out, but surely they should have heard something? What if something had gone wrong? What if… No she would not think of that. She grabbed her glass and knocked back a large gulp. The firewhiskey's warmth filled her with a kind of false peace. She and Sirius held their vigil in the kitchen all night, silently praying for their friend all alone in the wilderness.

The next morning dawned to find Tonks asleep with her head on the scrubbed wood table top. Last night's tension was still unresolved. Somewhere out there, Remus was in worse pain than he had been in a long while and there was nothing she could do about it. She rubbed her hands through her hair, wondering what color it was. She sighed deeply, trying to ignore the flips in her stomach.

"Shouldn't you be going to work? I am not going to catch myself you know." Sirius' voice startled her; she hadn't realized he was awake. Tonks smiled at his weak attempt at a joke and stumbled up the stairs to the shower. The warm water soothed her aching back from the awkward sleeping postion. She felt a bit more awake afterwards, but no sleep and firewhiskey made for a bad combination. She morphed her features to look a bit more presentable and brightened her hair as much as she could manage. _If he was hurt, he would have come home by now_, she assured her reflection, _This is a major landmark- the first full moon- two more and he will be home._ She didn't let herself doubt this, even though a tiny voice in the back of her head whispered, _He won't give up that easily. You know him, he will stay until the bitter end_. She squelched the nagging voice, she had to hold on to some kind of hope to keep going. She felt considerably better after convincing herself that no news was good news. She tripped down the stairs to the kitchen, smiling at Molly who had laid out toast and a pepper-up potion for her. She muttered her thanks and then stumbled out the door to work.


	2. Shatter

**AN: Thank you to everyone who read the first chapter. If you found anything confusing timeline-wise, I am basically just sliding everything backwards two years. So basically, assume they met during PoA, went through their denial/depression phase during GoF, and got together at the end. I just have a feeling that having Sirius' support would make Remus quicker to commit. So yep! They are together, happy, lovey-dovey, and all set to get married! What could possibly go wrong?**

**I forgot to put a disclaimer on the last chapter, so here it is: I own nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Everything is property of the brilliant J.K. Rowling.**

**On with the story!**

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><p><strong>***1123/12*** This chapter has been revised for format and grammar, with very minimal change to story detail.**

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><p>Much to her dismay, a mile-high stack of paper was waiting on Tonks' desk when she arrived at work. She groaned and flopped down in her chair, trying to keep her mind from wandering as she battled her way through the stack. About half an hour later, she was distracted from her work by a deep, rumbling voice.<p>

"Auror Tonks," Kingsley called, "My office."

Tonks obliged, grateful for the distraction. Nearly tripping on her way out of her cluttered cubicle, she followed him to his office down the hall. Eyes all over the office seemed to follow her. _Gits_, she thought, _just because I break things_…

Kingsley ushered her though the office door, locking it behind them, closing the blinds, and casting muffliato to keep eavesdroppers at bay. Tonks could feel her stomach slip down to her feet when she saw Kingsley's grim expression.

"Kingsley, what happened? Who is it?"

He didn't have to answer, the pitying expression and gentle "Have a seat," said it all. All she could do was brace for impact. Kingsley didn't say anything for a long moment, as if deciding how best to phrase whatever it was he had to say. Tonks was sure she would go mad if he didn't say something soon.

"Late last night, Fudge and Umbridge pushed a piece of emergency legislation through the Wizengamot. Not all representatives were there, but allegedly all were notified. Either way, a vote took place, was signed into law, and was carried out early this morning. All this occurred with the utmost secrecy. I am so sorry Tonks. This law demanded that all werewolves be rounded up and 'placed under the supervision and direction of those willing to make a good faith payment to the ministry.' Basically they will be auctioned off as slaves."

Tonks felt like the world was crashing down around her. "No!" She screeched, standing from her chair so fast it clattered to the floor. "They can't do that! It's barbaric."

Kingsley gathered the now bright red-haired woman into a brotherly hug as glass objects all over his office began to shatter. He disregarded the damage, one quick reparo charm and it would be good as new. The same could not be said for his friends. "They already have. I am so, so sorry."

Tonks pulled away from him roughly. "Why are you telling me sorry? We don't know that they have Remus. He could have gotten away. He survived a war for Merlin's sake! He can outwit a few Ministry flunkies."

Kingsley held her at arm's length, face etched with concern. "It doesn't look good, Tonks. They planned their timing well. The Department for the Control of Magical Creatures raided all known packs just after moonset so the werewolves would all be weak from the transformation. It was clean and quick, no known escapees."

Tonks just shook her head. "No, NO, NO!" She panted, only then realizing she was sobbing. "Where… where are they?"

Kingsley drew a breath. "They have all been taken to Azkaban for '_training_,'" He spat the last word with such venom that Tonks shuddered to think what that could mean.

She just continued shaking her head, face buried in her hands. _Kind Remus, gentle Remus, self-depreciating Remus… If we do get him back, what condition will he be in?_ It took a lot of effort from her and the rest of the Order to convince him that he was worthy of love, just like any man, her equal in every way. Now, as she sat safe in Kingsley's office, he was in that hell-hole of a prison being brainwashed by people who were telling him he was less than a human, a monster, unimportant. Just the thought made her sob harder and clutch the engagement ring hanging on a chain beneath her robes- Remus didn't want her to wear her ring in public because he didn't want her to bear his stigma.

Kingsley hugged her awkwardly. He had never seen her cry before; he didn't know anyone who had. He supposed her parents had, when she was young and waking up with nightmares. Now she was a grown woman and the nightmares were real. He couldn't tell her it would all be better in the morning. He felt so off balance; he had never been good with crying women—much less a crying Tonks, which he had always seen as another entity entirely. He had seen her mad, so he expected the yelling, the screaming, and maybe even throwing things. He had seen her sad, so he expected her morph to drop, and it did. As he told her the news, her face had paled and her pink hair faded to a mousy brown. Never, in any of his imaginings, did he expect her to shatter like the glass that now littered his office in little shards. He didn't expect her to latch onto his robes, sobbing wildly. If someone had told him yesterday that they would be in this position, he would have called them a fool, but then yesterday he believed in the decency of the world. A lot had changed.

After several long minutes, Kingsley lowered her into her chair, kneeling beside her and summoning a handkerchief. Tonks smiled weakly at him.

"Thanks, Kingsley. I am sorry you have to see me in such a state."

He smiled in return and continued to rub her back until he cries subsided. "I am sorry to ask you this, but I need you to go back to work like nothing happened. If you leave now in a state, as you put it, it would raise suspicion. We are having an emergency meeting at Headquarters after work, so you and I will leave early as possible. Until then, you have to hold it together. If someone mentions it, you must show only polite interest, like you have not connection whatsoever. I am not sure how we are going to have to play this, so we have to keep all the routes clear. Do you think you can do that?"

To his surprise, she began to laugh. It was the shrill, slightly unhinged laugh of a Black. Kingsley cringed; she had never looked more like her aunt.

"Of course! Why shouldn't I be able to hold it together? I live for the Order and her will! My feelings are insignificant to the great schemes of Albus Dumbledore."

"Tonks, don't…"

"No, no. I will be fine. I'm just a bit angry now is all. Transfigure it for me, would you?" Kingsley looked at her as if she had gone mad. _Maybe I have_, she mused.

"Excuse me?"

"My hair, Kingsley! I need you to turn it pink. It won't look exactly right, but I am sure no one would notice. Not as much as they would notice this mousy monstrosity. I don't think I can manage to change it myself right now," she finished quietly, a bit embarrassed by her admission.

He nodded and flicked his wand to turn her hair a shocking bubblegum shade. She took out a pocket mirror and began morphing away the signs of her crying. She struggled at first, but after much face-scrunching and mutterings, she snapped the mirror closed with a decisive _click!_ Composing her face into a businesslike mask and strode to the door and threw it open.

As she was about to leave, she turned to call over her shoulder, "Very well, Auror Shacklebolt, come and find me before you leave today and we will investigate this claim further."

Tonks retreated to her cubicle, leaving Kingsley to stare after her.


	3. Schemes

**AN: Thank you to all the lovely reviewers! Reading your reviews really brightened my day. It is great to have feedback, but it would be great to have even more. *cough cough* I get that it is Christmas, and everyone is busy, but nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a review waiting for me! Anyway…**

**I put it on my Christmas list, but considering past performance, I don't think I am going to get the rights to Harry Potter this year either. Shame, really. I could use the royalty checks.**

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><p><strong>***1125/12*** This chapter has been revised for format and grammar, with small changes to story detail.**

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><p>The hours passed slowly as Tonks waiting for Kingsley to come get her to leave. She continued to gamely plow through her paperwork, concentrated on holding her morph, and avoided all thoughts of Remus cold, alone, and in pain; all the while glancing at the clock every minute or so. Thankfully, she didn't see the pink toad all day. She would surely just gloat about her new legislation and Tonks didn't think Kingsley would appreciated if she took that opportunity to find out if she had inherited her Auntie Bella's knack for unforgivable curses. Finally just when she thought she would scream from the inaction, Kingsley walked by gesturing for her to follow. She got up and joined him in the lift, the golden grilles sliding closed behind them.<p>

They stepped outside into the cold November wind, and immediately Tonks thought of Remus stuck on that God-forsaken rock in the North Sea. Her stomach clenched, "Hold on, I'll be back in a tic," she called as she crossed the street to a muggle convenience store. Within a few moments she returned, showed no signs of her purchases, shrunken and tucked away in her robes.

Together, Tonks and Kingsley apparated to Grimmauld Place and hurried into headquarters before they could be spotted. They found the basement kitchen was crowded; clearly everyone had been waiting on them. Tonks wanted to shout at them all to save their pitying looks and careful "hello" as if she was a ticking bomb. She wasn't the one they should be worrying about.

"Hello Miss Tonks, Mr. Shacklebolt, take a seat and we may begin," Dumbledore called from the head of the table.

_Ah, _she thought bitterly, _I suppose it is serious enough for him to grace us with his presence._ Tonks fell into her usual seat between Sirius and Remus. The empty chair next to her screamed at her; she avoided looking at it for fear of another meltdown, this time in front of everyone. No one dared to take his vacant seat, as if it were a sacred memorial. Tonks was thankful for this, the only thing worse than the empty chair would be someone else trying to claim it.

Sirius was slouched heavily in his place at the table. He had been drinking; Tonks could smell the firewhiskey on him. He wasn't drunk yet, but she knew after the meeting he would give it his best shot. The bottle was sitting at the ready on the table. He had more right to be upset than almost anyone. After all, Moony was his best friend, and now he was locked in the place that haunted Sirius' worst nightmares. He knew what Remus was facing: cold, hunger, jeering guards, and worst of all dementors. Tonks had seen it from the other side of the bars when she toured Azkaban during Auror training and pitied the poor lost souls that had landed themselves there. The mere thought of Remus being subjected to that kind of misery was slowly eating away at the two cousins. They didn't say a word, but Sirius wrapped an arm around her shoulders and offered her the bottle. She took a deep swig, the burn of the alcohol momentarily chasing away the sense of doom.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "As you may know, last night a fraction of the Wizengamot pushed through legislation that called for the capture and enslavement of all werewolves, effective immediately. Fudge was no doubt looking for a scapegoat to punish for the recent Death Eater activity and found werewolves to be an easy target. Remus Lupin was undercover in Fenrir Greyback's pack trying to sway its members away from Greyback and Voldemort. We believe that he was taken with the others to Azkaban to be prepared for sale." The twinkle was absent from his eyes and replaced by obvious disdain. "It is imperative that we get Mr. Lupin and as many others as possible into Oder protection. Not only must we save one of our own from a terrible fate, he poses a great risk if bought by the wrong person. He will be forced to tell all he knows if asked. We can expect he will be a target for the Death Eaters still in the Ministry's good graces. It will be impossible to break him out of Azkaban, so our only solution is to make sure one of us is able to purchase him."

All around the room, people shifted uncomfortably. Tonks felt her stomach churn before reaching once again for the bottle then passing it to Sirius. Subconsciously, she sank a little lower in her chair. "Nymphadora," He called, and simultaneously her heart stopped and her anger at the old man surfaced once more. "You will morph yourself to remain unrecognized so we can avoid a betting war. I am afraid we cannot hope to compete financially with the Lucius Malfoys of the world so we must use other tactics."

Tonks felt her blood boil. "_Other tactics? _ Is that what I am? Is that what he was to you, merely a _tactic_ to get in with the werewolves? What if I won't be a blind pawn in your Machiavellian schemes anymore?" She yelled at the man she had looked up to for the majority of her life. Everyone in the room stared at her as if she had just announced that she was going to march off and pull Remus out of Azkaban herself.

"Perhaps," An oily voice in the corner interjected, "If you and your cousin were not attempting to drink yourselves into oblivion you would see that the headmaster's suggestion is the best plan we have. Why don't you sit down, Nymphadora, and stop making a fool of yourself."

She sent a loathing glare at Snape and then turned back to Dumbledore to hear his response. She remained standing.

"I am afraid this is the kindest thing you can do for him now. You must go to the auction, talk to Mr. Malfoy and give him the impression that whomever you buy will be available for loan. He will be less inclined to spend vast amounts of money. If that fails, I fear we will have no choice but to enter into the betting with him with money we don't have. Then we will not be able to save any others. You are the only one who can ensure his safety." He looked her in the eyes, with that same pitying look she was so bloody tired of.

"It is foolish to put all our hopes in one plan. Kingsley and I are Aurors, we could go to Azkaban and scope things out; if Voldemort can stage a mass breakout, why not us?"

"We can't all risk our necks so you can avoid a little responsibility," Snape sneered, "Lupin knew the risks and made his own decision. Besides, you are getting what you wanted, aren't you? _Till death do you part?"_

Before she even knew what she was doing, Tonks drew her wand and sent a stunner at Snape. The spell hit its unsuspecting target. Tonks stormed out of the room, bottle in hand, leaving Snape crumpled on the floor.

If the sunset was beautiful, she didn't notice. Red streaked the sky like it was painted with bloody fingers. Surely if she sat there on the front step a little longer, Remus would come stumbling up the sidewalk, a little haggard but no worse for wear. So she continued to sit alone on the step, whiskey bottle in one hand and cigarette in the other. She heard the front door open and shut behind her, but did not turn to acknowledge the newcomer.

"I see you have inherited the family vice… and added one of your own," he observed as Tonks exhaled a puff of smoke.

"Are you referring to the madness or the alcoholism?"

Sirius chuckled darkly. "The alcoholism, mostly, though I do see that you lack the true Black fervor for getting truly sloshed." He sat beside her heavily and joined her at staring at the front gate.

"Did Molly send you out here to tell me to snuff it out and sober up? Imagine the look on her face if I told her it was her son, Charlie, got me on both habits, still in Hogwarts."

"Of course not," he said matter-of-factly, "You have the whiskey." He grabbed the bottle from her and took a large gulp. "As your big cousin I really ought to tell you that those things will rot out your lungs and drinking doesn't solve anything. As Remus' best friend, I can understand the impulse. Though I would prefer it if my baby cousin didn't rush herself off to an early grave."

She sighed deeply and tapped her cigarette on the toe of her boot to knock off the dead ashes. "I don't know what has gotten into me. I haven't smoked since I was a rebellious teenager under Charlie's reckless influence and I haven't really gotten drunk since Mad-Eye to me to task for it when I was in Auror training. And before you ask, no, I am not there yet, nor do I intend on getting there. It is just hard, you know. I just convinced him that our relationship wasn't doomed to fail, and now the Ministry has shot that to hell. Merlin, Sirius! How could this happen?" She buried her face in her hands, but she didn't cry, not this time.

"I know it is hard. He is the only brother I have left. I can assure you of one thing. He has never loved someone the way he loves you. There is no one he would rather spend the rest of his days with, I am sure of it. This proves it!" He cried pulling her engagement ring out of her robes by the chain. Her cousin's uncharacteristically emotional speech made Tonks sniffle, but feel a bit better.

"I don't know if I can do it… seeing him like that… how will I possibly manage to keep under control?"

Sirius tensed at that, and Tonks could feel the rage rolling off of him in waves and she knew it was not directed at her. "You will manage because you have to," he said tightly, "It is what Remus needs, and you will not let him down. You love him too much for that." Tonks sighed as the sun sank below the horizon and the night's darkness engulfed the world.

"Come on, it is getting late. Everyone is too scared to walk past you to leave after the Snape incident. Excellent stunner, by the way, wish I could have done it myself."

Tonks muttered her thanks and reluctantly left her vigil, only to resume it in _his_ favorite armchair in the library. The next morning Sirius found her curled up there in one of Remus' jumpers, an empty bottle, an ashtray, and _Jane Eyre_ on the side table. He covered her up in a blanket; put a hangover potion on the side table; and left to tell Kingsley to call in sick for her.

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><p><strong>Wow! That turned out longer than I thought. Since I have never either drank or smoked, and am opposed to both because they smell bad, I hope I did justice to the compulsions tied to both of these addictions. Reviews are love!<strong>


	4. Coping Mechanisms

**As a warning, I am reaching the end of my pre-written material. I am also getting ready to leave for London in less than a week. YAY! Anyway, I have about one more chapter, maybe two, written and then it may be awhile before I post anything new. I am not sure about internet in the flat were I am staying, so I may not be able to update until I return. I will do my best to put all I have written up before I leave and brainstorm new material while I am gone! **

**I am not the creative genius that is J.K Rowling. I own nothing. Well, not nothing, just not the rights to Harry Potter.**

Tonks was on her second beer and fourth cigarette when a familiar thumping gate approached and Mad-Eye Moody heaved himself onto the barstool next to her. "Wotcher, Mad-Eye," she greeted, "They sent you out looking for me already? I only just got off a couple hours ago." He grunted in return. Tonks took this as a yes. Great. Clearly they all thought she was a total wreck in danger of passing out in a gutter. "I would've come whether Molly asked me to or not. You won't find him at the bottom of a bottle, lass. Believe me, I've looked for a lot of things there and I haven't found any of them." Tonks sighed and took another sip of her beer. "I know that. I just can't sleep anymore, you know? The alcohol and the cigarettes help me loosen up, slow my mind down. I suspect I would have to drink quite a lot to forget, but I don't think I am that desperate yet." He stared her straight in the eyes. Tonks no longer found the electric blue magical eye disconcerting when it was spinning around, but now when it and its natural counterpart were both fixed only on her, she couldn't help but squirm a bit. She knew she had dark circles under her eyes and her face had taken on a somewhat sunken appearance. "What would _he_ say if he saw you now?" She gave her mentor an icy glare. That was hitting below the belt. "He would say he wasn't worth it. But he is worth it, Mad-Eye! He is everything to me. It so bloody _hard_ not having him here. Besides," she continued in a softer tone, "He won't see me like this. I will stop all of it- the drinking, the smoking, the staying up- when he is back. He will be hurt enough without having to deal with my problems, too." They fell into silence, Moody taking a swig from his hip flask and Tonks taking a drag from her cigarette. "Are you disappointed in me?" She asked suddenly as she started on her third beer. He paused for a moment before answering, "No. I am just worried about you. I chose you as my protégé, not only for your rare talent, but for your heart. You give your all to whatever you do and your relationships are no different. You are dealing with something exceptionally few people face, but I must warn you, this isn't the way to cope." Tonks snorted, "I am not an alcoholic, Mad-Eye. I just drink a bit to unwind at the end of the day. I can stop whenever I want." He fixed her with that disconcerting gaze again. "You say that now. One day you will realize that you can't, and then it will be something you fight for the rest of your life. Look at Sirius, clearly it runs in the family. As for the cigarettes, if you don't stop you will start sounding like me. I doubt that is the voice Remus wants telling 'good morning' to him every day." She grimaced at the mental picture, but didn't snuff it out. "It reminds me of being young, a rebel without a cause. A covert operation was pulling one over on my mother. A tragedy was Charlie Weasley moving to Romania. So much has changed. I have changed. Maybe I just want to hold onto a bit of that carefree and irresponsible feeling." Moody grunted at that. "Why do you think Sirius does it?" He asked sardonically, "He is the poster child for arrested development. You can't avoid responsibility and pain like this. It will still be there when you are sober." Tonks didn't have a response to that, at least not one that wasn't admitting she was wrong. "If you were so worried about getting found by an Order member drinking in a bar, why did you come to the bar owned by an Order member. I will admit, I did check the local down the street from your flat, but it wasn't long before I was informed of your whereabouts." Tonks stayed quiet so long that he thought she was going to ignore him. "This is where I first met Remus a little over two years ago now. He was teaching at Hogwarts, and I was looking around for Sirius. He wanted to go where his students wouldn't see him and I wanted to go somewhere off the beaten track. We hit it off, started meeting for drinks. Eventually we figured out that we both had feelings for each other, and you know what happens from there. This is where we would sit and talk about everything under the sun. Everything was so simple then, and I still wasn't satisfied. I suppose I should have thanked you. If you hadn't assigned me to poke around here I wouldn't have met him until this year, I assume." "No problem," he answered, pushing off of the barstool, "Now let's go. Molly is cooking your favorite and will lose it if you don't show up. She says you are much too thin. I must say I agree. Now hurry up; I am hungry." Slightly amused by her gruff mentor's unusually… maternal behavior, Tonks hopped down from her barstool and followed him, leaving her beer and pack of cigarettes on the bar.

**Once again, thank you to all who have reviewed, favorited, or alerted this story: Slightly so (my very first reviewer), snitchstar, Clumsy Cayenne, rawrxrayrayduh, and Twilightgirl105. Knowing that someone actually wants to read this makes me want to keep writing. Anyway… Reviews make me very happy and help me become a better writer. Please leave a quick review, even if it is just to tell me that I use waaayyyy to many commas or criticize my spelling. No flames, please. If you don't like it, tell me why. This is all about me trying to grow as a writer and hopefully entertain a few people along the way.**


	5. 3, 2, 1

**Merry Christmas everyone! Here is the next chapter as my gift to you, lovely readers. I hope it is a good one. I wish I had time to write something happy and Christmas-y, but alas it is getting late. Maybe a Boxing Day fic? I will make no promises.**

**I still don't own **_**Harry Potter**_**. I do own any OC's that pop up, and I have a feeling one will be showing up quite soon…**

For Tonks, the weeks leading up to the dreaded day were suspended in a strange nightmarish state in which time neither dragged or sped by, but a bizarre combination of both. Each day and night seemed to go by agonizingly slow without him, but before she could blink the day that she had been both anticipating and avoiding arrived: the auction. More galleons than Tonks had ever seen were stacked on the table, ready to be divided between the Order members. She couldn't fathom where all the money had come from, but knew that she carried half the contents of her vault and a voucher for the rest with her just in case. She cursed her wasteful ways; if she would have saved more, she would have more to help Remus.

"Pull up your morph, Tonks, we need to get going," Mad-Eye called gruffly. She nodded mutely and sat down in front of a mirror set up on the table. She was supposed to make herself "sinisterly beautiful" or some such nonsense. She scrunched her face up in concentration, but the only result was black tips to her mousy brown hair. "Come on!" Mad-Eye growled, "Pull it together!" Sirius sat down next to her and held her hand in his. "You can do this. He needs you to do this." Her heart pounded in her chest as she once more concentrated on her hair with a look of determination. Within seconds it had turned jet black and shot from her scalp to fall even with her waist. Her eyes she turned to a harsh, cold grey. He body grew to be tall, slender, and imposing. The angles of her face became sharper, the soft curves of her heart-shaped face banished. When she was done, no trace of Nymphadora Tonks remained. She looked at the others for approval, some shuddered and some nodded their approval. "Come," Emmaline said, stepping forward, "I will help you finish up." She led the way to an upstairs bedroom where a black gown was spread out on the bed. It was long, and though plain, was clearly expensive. "You will need a corset," Emmaline said apologetically. Tonks sighed, but began pulling off her clothes so Emmaline could lace her in. "Breathe out," Emmaline warned as she yanked the laces tight. Tonks gasped as all the air was squeezed out of her lungs. "Is this really necessary?" she choked. Emmaline sighed sympathetically. "They are still in fashion with the 'old money' and we need you to look like old money. So yes, I am afraid so." After the high-necked black dress was pulled over her head and buttoned up the back, a deep blue robe tailored to emphasize her now sickly thin waist was layered over top. Emmaline glanced at her watch and then began hurriedly applying dark eye shadow and blood-red lipstick to Tonks' face. Looking at the mirror, Tonks felt as though she was seeing a portrait of an evil witch from a muggle fairy story rather than herself.

Tonks carefully navigated the stairs down to the first floor in her high-heeled boots. Once again she was met by shudders from her fellow Order members. She caught Sirius' eye and felt the bile rise up in her throat. She knew they were both thinking the same thing. Here was a niece Bellatrix would be proud of. He handed her what was left of his drink and she knocked it back, savoring the burn in her chest that felt a little like confidence. Moody threw her a look of disapproval and she immediately felt a bit guilty, like a child who had made the wrong choice when their parents gave them the opportunity to prove themselves. _Oh well. It was only a sip or two, not even enough for a buzz. I will stop when Remus is back._ Sirius did not seem to notice this silent exchange. He pounded her on the back. "Bring him home," he commanded and Tonks swore to herself she would.

Trying her best to look stately and imperious, Tonks strode toward the old courtrooms by the Department of Mysteries. They were being used for the auction. She was careful not to seem too familiar with this part of the Ministry- though she had been doing guard duty down here for months- instead demanding a rather frazzled intern to escort her to the door. Once she was there, it was not difficult to spot Lucius Malfoy's white-blonde hair. She sauntered to the seat next to him and sat down with uncharacteristic grace. He lazily wished her good day and she gave a curt nod in reply. He seemed shocked that anyone could match him in snobbery. A look of confusion crossed his face, and after a while he began trying to make small talk with her, never daring to ask her name. Tonks guessed that he thought he had forgotten the name of someone rich and powerful and did not want to admit to the faux pas. Soon talk turned to what he turned "the pound sale." Tonks fought to keep her expression neutral as he berated the werewolves. "Quite honestly, this is long overdue. The dogs will be controlled and we will finally have more presentable servants that house elves. Don't you agree madam?" Tonks only managed to utter, "Quite," through clenched teeth. She took a list from one of the workers passing the pamphlets to the buyers. Once she calmed down a bit she expanded on her answer, moving in to secure her mission. "Honestly, I see this as a good investment opportunity. Buy up a few before the general public even knows, train them up, and then sell or hire them out for a tidy profit. I think there is more money to be made in hiring out, myself." Lucius considered her a bit more shrewdly. "Really?" he inquired, "Perhaps I will have to come to you for extra servants whenever I throw a dinner party." Tonks nodded tightly once again, mentally vowing that he would not be coming within a hundred meters of Remus.

Tonks turned her attention to the pamphlet held in her hands. She scanned the rows, disgusted to see that there were no names listed, only numbers. _Of course not. A name would be too human_. Her eyes fell on one she was positive referred to Remus. _#007116, Male, 35, formerly a professor, bitten aged seven, 6'2'', 11 stone, productive._ Though the last word confused Tonks for a moment, she soon figured it out. Caught between blushing and vomiting, she settled on clenched her teeth to avoid either. Soon it began. The first one brought out was a little boy. He sobbed, his eyes bright with fear. Two men held a firm grip on him and dragged him to the center of the room. Tonks closed her eyes, willing someone, anyone, from the Order to save him. Her prayers were answered when the kind-faced Hestia placed the winning bid. Tonks counted down until it was Remus' turn- 12, 11, 10… She bid lazily on others of avoid suspicion, but fell out of the running early. 9, 8, 7… The condition of the people repulsed her. They were all scantily clad, men and boys in tattered shorts and women and girls in shifts. They were all extremely thin, drawn, and pale. Some bore numerous cuts and bruises on their bodies and faces. The adults were shackled at their wrists and ankles, as if they had the strength to run away or even block the blows their captors occasionally sent at them. 6, 5, 4… Tonks did not think she had ever seen a more worn down group of people in her life. She didn't think she could bear to see Remus like that, so broken. 3, 2, 1… She didn't have a choice. It was time.

**Cliff hanger! I really did not intend for it to have a ciffie, but it was getting really long and this was the most natural place to cut it off. I have the next chapter written in a notebook, so it shouldn't be long before I type it up and post it. Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you and your loved ones have a safe and happy holiday! As always, please review. I really do want your imput.**


	6. Sold!

**So… sorry about the cliffie. I am updating quickly to cram in all my material I have written before I leave. I don't want to leave anything up in the air while I am gone. As a warning, this was difficult for me to write. I may have cried a little. Proceed with caution.**

**As I expected, I did not get the rights to Harry Potter for Christmas. I did, however, get the scene it game. Perhaps the elves read my list wrong?**

The men who lead Remus out needed to support much of his weight. If it was even possible, he was more emaciated than the others. Even from her relatively distant seat, Tonks could count all of his ribs. Cuts and bruises littered his body, crisscrossing with old scars. Despite all of this, he stood with as much dignity as he could muster. Tonks felt her heart lift a fraction. They hadn't defeated him completely. Suddenly a tiny cry of "Moony!" rang through the courtroom. A little girl, probably no older than seven or eight Tonks guessed, had broken away from her guards and ran to throw her arms around Remus' legs. He managed to shake free of his own guards just in time to throw himself in front of the curse meant for the little girl. He fell heavily to the ground and the little girl jumped to kneel beside him. A guard pulled her back, sending a quick kick at Remus' ribs. Tonks bit her tongue. When he did not react immediately, a second guard withdrew his wand and cried, "_Crucio!"_ Tonks could taste the blood in her mouth as she watched her Remus cringe in pain against the cold stone floor. Her fingers twitched towards her wand and it took all she had to resist the urge to hurt the guard so badly he would wish she had just used _crucio_. The little girl was now screaming at the top of her lungs. "Stop! Please stop! I'm sorry! Don't hurt him! I am sorry," she cried as she was dragged away. The two guards pulled Remus to an upright position to continue the sale.

"Disobedient," Lucius sneered, "He needs to learn his place." Tonks clenched her fists, her fingernails digging into her palms. "I take it as a challenge. I think I may just go for him and his pup." Lucius snorted. "Good luck. I will borrow him when you are through, if I may." Tonks mustered up the most convincing smile she could. "Most definitely." The bidding began with Dumbledore placing the first bid. "That will be your biggest competition, there," Lucius remarked. Soon it was just Dumbledore and Tonks going back and forth, putting on a show. Remus followed the betting with his eyes, trying not to betray too much hope. Finally, Dumbledore shook his head sadly. The look of utter devastation on Remus' face brought tears to her eyes, but she plastered a smug smile on her face. Remus searched desperately around the courtroom for the other Order members, as the auctioneer called, "Going once, twice… sold!" As the gavel fell, the look she had been dreading crossed Remus' face: a look of defeat.

The little girl was next. Tonks jumped into the bidding on impulse. Kingsley soon dropped out of the bidding even though he was supposed to be the one to go after her. The gavel fell and Tonks released a sigh of relief. For whatever reason, Remus had made quite the impression on the little girl. Who was she to deny her what comfort she could? "I think I am done here," she informed Lucius. He nodded and wished her farewell. She retreated without returning his niceties.

An usher escorted her below to the holding cells where she needed to finalize paperwork and collect Remus and the little girl. It was noticeably colder here; Tonks knew the slaves must be shivering in their cells. A table was set up in a corner to complete the transactions. The usher waved her forward. "Name?" The man inquired lazily. "Nymphadora Tonks," she supplied; there was no need to hide it at this point. "Slave numbers?" Tonks was overcome by the urge to reach across the table and throttle the squatty little man, but instead hissed the numbers at him. He made a few notes in his ledger and handed her a stack of paper. "Sign here, here, and here… initial here… and sign once more here. There, now these are for Ministry record and these are for you. Keep these for the duration of your slaves' lives to avoid confusion. A guard will now escort you to their cells. Good day, madam." Tonks just nodded, not trusting herself to speak, and crammed the hateful papers into her pocket. Depositing the required gold on the table, she turned on her heel to follow the guard.

Tonks felt her pulse quicken as she approached the door. The guard, the one she remembered had hurt Remus earlier, opened the heavy wooden door to let her in. Remus didn't so much as flinch when they entered. He was lying on his side with his back towards them, still shackled at the wrists and ankles. _Merlin! He looks even worse up close_, she thought. Some of the cuts that crisscrossed his back oozed blood and a fresh bruise was blooming where he had been kicked. His spine and ribs were clearly defined through his skin. "Up, dog! Kneel before your new mistress!" Remus didn't respond to the guard's command; he just continued to lie there. "I said get up!" The man yelled again, this time aiming a kick for Remus' stomach. A gasp escaped his lips and Tonks was once more visited by the urge to be sick. Slowly, he rolled into a kneeling position and began dragging himself forward to kneel at Tonks' feet, his chains scraping against the stone floor. "Remove the chains," she ordered. "Are you sure, madam? He will be easier to control this way, at least until you have broken him in properly." Tonks glared down her nose at him," I am positive. Now do as I say." The guard complied and then turned to her once more. "What will you call him?" The guard asked. "Whatever he was called before. Avoids confusion." He turned back to Remus. "State your name," he demanded, preparing to kick again. Tonks cut him off. "I would appreciate it if you stop damaging my property," she stated coldly, "I can handle discipline from here. What is your name?" There was a pause, and then he answered, "Remus. I was called Remus." He flinched as if his name would not be to her satisfaction and she would steal that from him, too. Though Tonks cringed at his use of the past tense, she soldiered on. "Very well, you will be called Remus. Give me his wand and we will continue on our way." The guard handed her a long, narrow box containing Remus' familiar willow wand, but moved to block her path. "Just a moment, you still have to perform the binding spell. He must vow to serve you," he interjected. "My love and my loyalty belong only to one woman, and she is worth more than two of my mistress," Remus spat, glaring at Tonks and the guard. Tonks never thought Remus could direct such a look of loathing at her. At the same time, her heart swelled at his proclamation of love. "I don't think she cares about you love, dog, just your obedience. Where is your she-wolf now? Why didn't she come and fight for you? Answer me dog! Why didn't she fight for you?" He yelled, kicking Remus again and reveling in his pain. "She deserves better than me. I suppose she finally realized that she could do better than a dog." He hung his head and his voice was barely louder than a whisper. Tonks' heart shattered at his broken voice and it took everything she had to keep her mask in place. "Can we please continue?" she demanded impatiently. "Certainly," the guard answered, handing her scroll to read from, "Place your hand on the back of his head and read from the scroll. After each item he will answer 'I will.'" She did as ordered and the guard placed his wand over her hand. "Remus, you are to hold me above all others, including yourself and all those you knew before."

"I will."

"You are to make my happiness and satisfaction your only mission."

"I will."

"You are to protect my life and wellbeing even at the expense of your own."

"I will."

"You are to honor and obey my will."

"I will."

"You are to do all these things until death."

"I will."

With each "I will," Remus' voice became more and more resigned, and Tonks felt even guiltier. She felt that she was stealing something else from him with each vow. She couldn't see his face anymore; his head was hanging so low that his nose was almost touching the ground. After the last vow her hand grew hot and the warmth spread throughout her body. Apparently the sensation wasn't as comfortable for Remus, as he gasped in pain. "He is now bound to you until which time you decide to dispose of him. Let's go collect the other one so you can be on your way." He led them to the adjacent cell, motioning for Remus to wait outside.

Tonks' heart broke once more as the little girl cringed away from them and curled herself up in a corner. She began sobbing as the guard forced her to kneel. "What is your name?" Tonks asked before the guard could say anything, "K… K… Keira," the little girl stuttered. "Very well, let's continue with bonding. I wish to leave." Once the bonding was finished Tonks and Keira exited the cell. Keira's face lit up when she say Remus, but she did not dare run to him again. "Remus, hold on to Keira. I don't want to lose her." He smiled as he gathered the little girl up in his arms. Considering how weak and sore he looked, Tonks thought that was an amazing feat. "Moony," she whispered loudly, as children are wont to do, "Does this mean we can stay together?" He looked at Tonks hopefully. "Yes," she said quietly, "Now let's go home."

**Wow that was depressing. Rereading it, I am slightly shocked that I wrote all that. I promise some slightly happier stuff is coming soon. Don't give up hope yet! Thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter, seasidesimone, , snitchstar, and ankie; it was a very nice Christmas present to see your reviews. Happy Boxing Day and please review!**


	7. Her Vow

**Here is the next chapter! This will probably be the last chapter I post for a week or two, so I hope this brings us to a good stopping point.**

**I still don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I would not be writing fanfiction and Lupin and Tonks would have lived.**

Tonks led the way out of the Ministry, rushing through the atrium so Remus did not have to face anyone he knew. Finally, they made it to the floo. She pulled all three in and called out her address. They landed in Tonks' small, cluttered flat with a clatter. Remus appraised his surroundings, as well as the woman who had just tripped out of the fireplace, with a look of confusion. "You… but this… Dora?" he whispered, as if barely daring to hope. She nodded, dropping her morph. Remus pulled her into his arms. It was like hugging a skeleton, she was careful to only embrace him lightly so as to not hurt his bruised ribs.

Suddenly the tears she had been holding back all day broke free and all she could do was pant, "I'm sorry," over and over again. Her sobs eventually subsided, and he placed a cautious kiss on the top of her head, testing to see if he could still do so without permission. Nothing bad happened, so he placed another on her lips. She responded by reaching to stroke the hair at the back of his neck… and froze when she felt hot, sticky blood and raised ridges.

"What is that?"

"Nothing, Dora. It is nothing to worry about."

"Fine, then let me see it." He opened his mouth to argue, but suddenly bowed his head, exposing his neck to her. Tonks felt her stomach roll and made a dash to the bathroom. As her stomach rejected that morning's piece of toast and shot of firewhiskey, Remus rubbed her back comfortingly. When she was through, he sat on the tile floor, pulling her down with him. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into his chest. She pulled back, scooting herself across the tiny room. "You don't have to do this, Remus. You don't have to act like everything is fine, like you could possibly still love me after what I have done to you."

"I don't have to pretend, Dora. I love you."

Tonks' crying recommenced. "You shouldn't! My bloody name is carved into the back of your neck! This paper… this paper gives me the right to do whatever I want to you, beat you, rape you… kill you! You are my slave! You should hate me. How can you still love me?" He pulled himself to her side and stroked her mousy brown hair for a long moment and then replied, "I trust you. My love and loyalty have always belonged to you, just as I said before. I chose long ago to spend the rest of my life with you. I already lived for your happiness. You didn't take anything from me. You saved me from those who would have hurt me. We will just have to be a bit careful about how we use directives from now on, won't we?"

Tonks gave a watery laugh. They sat together on the bathroom floor in comfortable silence for a minute before Tonks twisted herself around so that she could look Remus directly in the eyes. "I, Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks, swear to hold you above all others, including myself and all those I knew before. Your happiness and satisfaction will be my only mission. I will protect your life and wellbeing even at the expense of my own. I will honor and obey your will. I swear to do all these things until the day I die."

Once again, he lowered his mouth to hers, whispering, "Until death do we part," against her lips. She sighed in resignation that her unbound vow to him would be as close to a marriage as they would come for a while.

A small voice calling, "Moony?" pulled the reunited couple out of their embrace and drew their attention to the little girl standing awkwardly at the bathroom door. Remus cleared his throat self-consciously and scooted himself a more appropriate distance from Tonks. "Keira, come and meet my… um, good friend, Tonks. Dora, this is Keiranna Strauss. I met her when she was brought to Greyback's pack the same day I arrived." He sent Tonks a loaded glance and she returned a knowing look in return.

"Wotcher, Keira," Tonks greeted cheerfully as she could manage, trying to make up for her previously intimidating presence. Keira bobbed in a shy little curtsy. "Hello, mistress." Tears welled up in Tonks' eyes and Remus pulled her closer. A look of panic crossed the Keira's face. "Did I make you sad? I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry!" She cowered away, expecting punishment to come at any moment. Tonks just shook her head. "You didn't make me sad, sweetheart. I am sad because there are all sorts of bad people in the world. I'm sad because they hurt a precious little girl like you. Please, none of this mistress business. You can call me Tonks, or even Dora if you like."

Keira nodded her head. "I like Dora."

"Well there you go! Dora it is. You should feel special. I don't let anyone besides my parents and Moony call me that." Tonks pulled herself off the floor and turned to help Remus up as well. He was trying to hide it, but she could tell he was very weak and tired. "Why don't you two get cleaned up while I get us some food? Remus your things have been moved to the guest bedroom. Keira, I wasn't planning on having a little girl staying with us, so why don't you sleep in one of my T-shirts tonight and we will go shopping for some clothes tomorrow?" Keira nodded, still a bit wary of the strange woman's intentions. "So what sounds good? I know you are both hungry. Just wait until Molly sees you! They said it shouldn't be anything too heavy… I make good noodles, and I could get some steaks? Is that okay?" Keira nodded but Remus looked at her quizzically. He knew her style of cooking was take-away. "Good. I will just change out of this monstrosity and I will be on my way. I will show you to my bathroom, Keira. I may need your help escaping from this thing." The little girl followed her to her bedroom obediently and watched as Tonks threw off her outer robe. Tonks tried to unbutton the back herself, but soon gave it up as a bad job. She resigned to asking for Keira's help. The little girl fumbled with the buttons, but soon it was loose enough for Tonks to pull the dress over her head. "Thank you very much, Keira. I can take it from here."

Tonks showed Keira around the bathroom, pointing out the towels, soap, a T-shirt, and a pair of her shrunken-down knickers and turning on the shower for her. "Do you… um… know you size? So I can buy you some… essentials while I am out." She shrugged and Tonks recognized the signs of a panic starting. "That is all right. I will guess as best I can. Well, I will leave you to it." She turned to walk out the door, but a shy whisper made her turn back.

"Why are you being nice to me?" Keira asked, nervously fingering the edge of her dirty shift.

"I am being nice to you because I like you. You are a sweet little girl and you deserve to be treated well."

"No, I don't. I am just a monster. The people, they said that my mommy and daddy didn't want me anymore because I'm not human like them. They are scared of me."

This angered Tonks more than anything else, more than the cuts, the bruises, and the shackles. They had told a little seven-year-old girl she was a monster. They stole her away from her parents and told her it was her fault. "Don't listen to them, sweetie. You are just as important and just as human as anyone else. You know what? They are the real monsters." Tonks cautiously pulled the little girl into a hug. Keira flinched, but soon relaxed against her chest. "You are safe here, Keira. Moony and I will protect you from the monsters. Now, why don't you take a shower and I will be right back."

Tonks shut the door behind her and took a deep breath. She quickly changed into her normal clothes and rushed out the door. Once outside, she fumbled around in her pockets. Once she found her target, she lit the cigarette. She began her walk to the market and pretended the smoke was the reason her eyes were watering.

Remus was waiting for her at the kitchen table when she returned with the food. She kissed him lightly on the temple, noting how much more like himself he looked. His eyes followed her appraisingly as she moved around the kitchen preparing their meal. She sat across from him while she waited for the water to boil. "How have you been?" he asked.

_A wreck. A disaster._ "Fine. I managed. Shouldn't I be asking you that question?"

"I think you can guess how I have been doing," He stared at his hands before he continued. "You have been drinking… and smoking." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"How did you…"

"I noticed the bottles in the bin. Either you threw a wild party or you have been drinking a great deal more than you used to. I could smell the smoke on your breath and in your hair just now. I ask you again; how have you been?" She sighed. She supposed now was the time she had to confess to her coping mechanisms.

"Not well. It was hard with you gone, and then Kingsley told me that… yea. The drinking and smoking started that day. I said that I would stop when you were home, but then Keira said something that made me so angry and upset! I had to have just one more before I came home. I am done now. I swear."

"That isn't all. You haven't been taking care of yourself. You are thin and you have dark circles under your eyes. I am not even going to mention the hair."

"I am telling you it all stops now. I don't want you to worry about me. You need to concentrate on getting well again. I had a bit of trouble sleeping because of nightmares and I just didn't feel like eating. That is all there is to it. You're back now, so I am happy and we will be fine. I promise."

"Why didn't you ask Snape for a dreamless sleep potion?"

"Well," Tonks sighed, looking around the room at anything but Remus, "Snape and I have never gotten on you know, and he said something, and I said something… long story short the altercation got a bit physical. No, he didn't go after me," she interjected at Remus' furious expression, "I might have stunned him without warning. In my defense, I didn't know it was going to happen either. We both walked away no worse for wear, well he walked away a bit later than I did and I kind of stormed out."

"Dora! I want to say I disapprove, but I really just wish I could have seen it. Why didn't you go through Dumbledore to get some."

"Well… I'm not exactly on the best of terms with him, either. I may have gotten a bit angry and shouted at him. He hasn't said anything to me, and I have been avoiding him. Don't look at me like that! They were both asking for it. Insensitive gits!" Remus looked at her in awe and she stared back, unrepentant. He gave a gruff laugh and rolled his eyes.

The door down the hall creaked and Keira walked into the room quietly. Tonks turned to the stove to pour in the noodles and start the steaks. Remus stood behind her to wrap his arms around her waist. "We will finish this discussion later." Tonks nodded, watching the steaks carefully so she did not over do them. That was not a conversation she was looking forward to. He rested his chin on her shoulder. "What? I am making sure you don't burn them." Tonks rolled her eyes and poked them with a fork.

"See? Still bloody, just like you like them."

"You know me so well. I will strain the noodles. I don't think I am up to a trip to St. Mungo's tonight." Tonks laughed sarcastically and began setting the table and serving up the steaks, cutting Keira's into small pieces. Remus joined her with the pasta bowl. Remus and Keira dug into the food with fervor.

"Slow down!" Tonks admonished, "You are going to make yourselves sick." They slowed down and Tonks was relieved that she would not have to save either of them from choking. She continued to watch them eat as if the food would disappear at any moment. It broke her heart to think how long it had been since they had eaten something descent. Remus glanced at her plate and then at her meaningfully and she obediently tucked into her meal as well. She realized how hungry she had been, and how much easier it was to eat without her stomach flopping back and forth.

The meal passed in a comfortable silence, the sounds of forks and knives scraping plates. Once it was done, Tonks rose from her chair to get her healer's kit. As an accident prone person, she made sure it was always well-stocked. "Let the patching up begin! Who wants to go first?" Keira sank in her chair, making her opinion on the matter known. "Thank you for volunteering, Remus. Please follow me into my office." He rolled his eyes and followed her to the attached living area, pulling off his jumper and unbuttoning his shirt as he went. Keira followed at a cautious distance.

"See, Keira, it doesn't hurt a bit," Remus assured her as Tonks dabbed essence of dittany on his numerous cuts. Keira's eyes widened as they instantly began healing.

"How do you do that?" she asked Tonks in awe as she now began passing her wand over Remus' ribs to check for fractures. "Lots of practice. I fall down a lot, you see. I also have to take basic healing training for work. Sorry, Remus, I think I found a fracture. I am not going to lie; this will hurt a bit. _Episkey!_" Remus gasped as his rib reset itself. "Do you want to help me with the Bruise Away? All you have to do is dab it on the dark spots and be gentle so you don't hurt him." Keira nodded and took the jar from Tonks and began rubbing it on to a bruise on Remus' arm. "Perfect. Isn't she doing great, Remus?"

"Yes she is. I feel much better. You should be a healer, Keira."

Keira smiled shyly. "I am glad you feel better, Moony." She moved to apply the thick yellow paste to his wrists and ankles where the shackles had bruised them. "I am finished!" she pronounced, returning the jar to Tonks. Remus made a show of stretching out and moving his sore muscles, even though Tonks knew he wasn't nearly that pain-free. "Good as new! Thank you, ladies." He planted a kiss on each of their heads and pulled his jumper back on. "I do believe it is Keira's turn now."

"I think I missed one. Miss… Dora, can you give me the Bruise Away?"

"Nice try, little missy. Stand still while I fix you up. Remus will hold your hand, if you want." Keira nodded and sat on Remus' lap. _Such a brave little girl_, Tonks thought as she applied the dittany and searched for fractures. Thankfully, there were no breaks. Remus narrated each step with what Tonks affectionately dubbed his "professor voice." Listening to him distracted her from her fear of the healing process. Soon she was finished covering the last bruise. "There! That wasn't so bad. Now a pain potion for each of you, and some Skele-grow for Remus, then off to bed. It has been a long day." Keira made a face at the taste of her potion, but finished it off.

"Just be glad you don't have to take the Skele-grow. Trust me, it is awful," Tonks assured her as Remus spluttered and coughed after taking his dose. "Alright, Remus you have the guest room. Keira, you can take my room. I will take the pull out. Sleep well."

"Nonsense, Dora. I will take the pull out, Keira can take the guest bed, and you can keep your bed."

"No. Your back hurts you on a good day. Take the guest bed. I insist," Remus nodded, but didn't seem happy about it.

Keira followed their argument like someone following a tennis match. "Can you and Remus tuck me in?" They nodded and led her to Tonks' bedroom. Remus pulled back the covers and Keira snuggled in. "How about a story?"

Remus nodded. "What do you want to hear?"

"A wizard fairy tale!"

"Okay. This one is called 'The Fountain of Fair Fortune.' Once upon a time…" Remus and Tonks settled in on either side of Keira. Tonks felt her eyelids begin to droop. She had almost forgotten how calm and reassuring Remus' voice was. How had she forgotten? It was the most beautiful sound she knew.

The next morning, Tonks woke to the sun in her eyes. For the first time in a long time she had not had a single nightmare. She rolled over to see Remus' sleeping face and Keira snuggled between them. His arm was draped across Keira, reaching towards Tonks. They both looked so peaceful that she did not have the heart to wake them up. Instead she took Remus's hand in hers and closed her eyes once more. The day could wait a little while longer.

**Well, that was a longer chapter than I anticipated. Hopefully since I put soooo much effort into making sure that I brought the story to a nice, peaceful stopping point I will get lots of reviews. Thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter. Thank you to ThisLoveHasNoCeiling. I am glad I inspired you to get an account just so you can review. I took your suggestion, and I agree that it does look better, at least it does on my word processor. When I have more time I will whip out my grammar book and check the structure again and revise the other chapters. I hope to be posting again in the next couple of weeks! Keep fingers crossed for wifi and please review!**


	8. Keira's Tale

**AN: It has been awhile. Sorry, but I have been in London. Amazing city! I hope this chapter is good, even if it is fluffy. As always, thanks to all the reviewers!**

**I do not own anything related to Harry Potter. Believe me.**

When she finally managed to stumble out of bed, Tonks found Remus already out of bed and Keira still asleep on the far side of the bed. It was the kettle's cry that woke her from the first peaceful sleep she had gotten in about two months. She tucked Keira into the covers and padded off to the kitchen. The wonderful smell of eggs frying and bacon popping in the pan should have made her happy, but it made her inexplicably upset. "What are you doing?" she asked abruptly.

"Making breakfast," he supplied with a tone that suggested she was a bit slow.

"You don't have to do that. Here, let me."

"Really, it's fine. I don't want to let you burn the flat to the flat to the ground. London's already had one too many great fires."

Tonks sighed and crossed the tiny kitchen to wrap her arms around his waist and lay her head on his shoulder. "You don't have to take care of me. I get by just fine with Weetabix and take away. If I haven't burned the place down by now, I doubt I will."

"Yes, but it's my job to make sure you are taken care of." Her body tensed behind his. "As your fiancé, I mean. I want to do it. Don't worry about me, Dora. The Ministry took away my freedom, not my brain. I still have an opinion and I can still choose who I love. I choose you."

"I never said you didn't..."

"How about we start over?" he suggested, twisting to peck her on the lips. "Good morning, sweetheart. How was your night?"

"Morning, love. My night was wonderful with you next to me. Breakfast smells delish."

"Much better. So normal, just like it never happened," he said wistfully. She didn't tell him that it didn't feel back to normal to her, that she was on pins and needles around him, waiting for him to realize that he hated her, waiting for her big mouth to carelessly say something stupid that she would never forgive herself for.

"Where's Keira?" he asked.

"Still in bed. I let her sleep; she deserves it. Besides, if I woke her up, she would probably scream. If she was sleeping any further from me, she would be on the floor."

"She just needs time. Once she adjusts to you, she will love you."

"I don't blame her. In her place, I would hate me. She loves you, so at least she has you. How did you end up with her, anyway?" There was a long pause while Remus flipped the eggs around in the pan. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," she interjected quickly.

"No, no. I want to. You're sure she's still asleep?" Tonks nodded. "Ok. Well here it goes. You promise not to interrupt until the end? Good." He put the eggs and bacon on two plates and set them on the table. She joined him, carrying two mugs of tea. Just when Tonks thought he would never start talking, he drew a breath and began to tell Keira's story.

"As I am sure you remember I joined the pack the day after the full moon. I found that Greyback had made a new… addition to the pack. He had seen her playing in the front garden of a house in a muggle subdivision and…"

"Keira isn't a witch!"

"I thought you weren't going to interrupt?" he chastised good-naturedly.

"Yes, but it really makes it worse, doesn't it? If her first introduction to the magical world was this? That is horrible! She doesn't even have the magic that would make her truly one of us," Tonks shook her head sadly. "Why would Greyback choose her anyway?"

"If you would wait… Greyback watched Keira playing in the front garden and noticed that she could make things move without touching them. The flowers would dance and toy boats would race across puddles, even when there was no breeze. Her parents were clearly muggles, and discounted this phenomenon as a figment of their imagination. In his warped mind, Greyback though that she would be better off as a werewolf in a pack than a witch among muggles, so he bit her. Keira was in pain and very scared when I arrived, so I asked permission to look after her. As Greyback put it, I was 'assigned to play nursemaid to the cub' and she became my responsibility. It took a while to bring her around, but once I explained all I could to her, did a few magic tricks, and gave her my entire store of chocolate, she decided I could be trusted. She hasn't left my side since.

The morning the Ministry raided the pack, we were both very weak from the transformation. I had just pulled myself up and began healing her when they came. I tried to fight, but was disarmed and tackled to the ground. They threatened to hurt her if I kept fighting and I was in no condition to anyway, so I let them tie my wrists and take me. Keira was crying and I begged for her to be kept with me. They laughed, but shoved us into the same cart. We were taken to Azkaban and put into a cell with some others, and I am sure you can figure out the rest."

Judging from his silence on the matter, Tonks was sure whatever happened after was something he did not want to relive. The only sound was the clinking of forks on plates. Every so often Remus would reach over to place his hand on her knee. Her eyes slipped closed and they both reveled in this silent reassurance. Tonks cleared her throat awkwardly. "You are skinnier that the others and more injured. You try not to show it, but I can tell. Keira is in remarkably good shape, all things considered."

"Are you going somewhere with this?"

"Nowhere in particular, it's just a couple of observations. Maybe they are connected?" she mused distractedly.

"Are you faulting me for sharing my food with a little girl who is crying from hunger pains or getting in the way of curses meant for her?" he said defensively.

"I'm not faulting you, no. It just proves what I've always known, Remus. You are a wonderful, selfless man." She leaned in to kiss him gently on the lips. "I would wear two jumpers when we go to Grimmauld Place tonight, if I were you. Extra padding, you understand. Molly will be force feeding you before you can blink if she sees the state you are in."

"We are going to Grimmauld Place?" Remus perked up visibly.

"There is a debriefing tonight. We would have had it last night, but we were all given the night to settle in and get acquainted. Molly's cooking a massive dinner to feed all the Order and the… new additions. Anyway, Sirius would not stand for us staying away for very long. I would hate for him to be caught by a dog catcher on the way to my flat."

She rose from the chair and Remus followed suit. He reached to his pocket, but then his hand dropped back to his side and he picked up the dishes. Tonks was confused for a moment, but then her brain caught up. "Oh, Remus! I forgot to return your wand! Why didn't you say anything?"

He shrugged. "I don't think I can ask for things like that," he replied mysteriously. She silently swore that she would read the laws in their entirety so she could make it easier for him.

"Well, it was very thoughtless of me. I am so, so sorry."

"Don't be. Last night was hectic. It didn't cross my mind."

"I will go get it now." She tiptoed into her bedroom and retrieved the wand from the pocket of her discarded robes. She sat down on the couch next to Remus and handed him the box. He took it in his hands with a look of wonder and excitement, like a child opening a Christmas package. Ever so gently, he removed the cover of the box to caress the willow and unicorn wand within. For a long moment, he stared and the wand in his hands. Tonks could swear she saw tears in his eyes, not that she would ever tell. He gave it a gentle wave, and a shower of white daisies fell around them. Before she knew it, his arms were around her and he was kissing her on her lips, her face, and her neck. Overcoming her shock, she threw her arms around him and pulled him close. He hissed in pain and clutched at his ribs. She immediately pulled back and scooted away, apologizing profusely. He just shook his head. "Well I am most certainly not sorry. You have no idea how much I missed you, Dora."

"I missed you, too. I was so scared that I would never see you again, or worse, that I would fail and see you suffering at the hands of another. I don't think I can make it without you."

"I kept my promise to you."

"Which one?"

"I promised that I would always come back to you so you could patch me up. It took me a while this time, but I am home now, Dora. I'm home and I am not going anywhere." Tears began to well up in the corners of her eyes as she ever so gently pressed her lips to his.

"I love you so much," she sighed, stroking his scarred face.

"I love you more," he promised, pulling her into his arms once more.

**Awweee! Fluffy ending. You should all be very grateful for an update while I am on vacation. I have been writing bits and pieces when I get home from sightseeing. That is dedication people! You can show your appreciation by leaving a review. Otherwise, I will get discouraged. I will not hold chapters hostage, but when my frame of mind is good, I am more likely to write. Thanks!**


	9. Of Kisses and Motives

**AN: So. Hello everyone. I am not quite sure where I am going with this fic. I have two ideas for the ending (one more canon than the other if you catch my drift) but I am not quite sure how canon I want to stay on the way there. Now… on to chapter nine!**

**I have now been to platform 9 ¾. Sadly, I ran into a brick wall. I was unable to purchase the rights to Harry Potter, no matter how much I begged.**

Keira stumbled sleepily into the living room and was clearly a bit disturbed to find her pseudo-father figure on the couch embracing their mistress. Tonks saw her over Remus' shoulder and pulled away, clearing her throat awkwardly. "Good morning, Keira. I hope you slept well."

"Yes ma'am. Good morning." Keira continued to stand in the door way, arms wrapped self-consciously around her middle.

"Are you hungry? Remus cooked eggs and bacon for breakfast. I can warm some up if you like." Keira nodded mutely and followed Tonks as she stumbled towards the kitchen. Remus stood up as well, popping his sore joints. "That reminds me; I have a pain potion for each of you. Remus, you have another dose of Skele-Grow. Madam Pomfrey will be at the meeting tonight to give everyone a professional looking-over."

After breakfast was reheated and the potions were prepared, they all sat at the table once again. The silence that descended was so uncomfortable, it made Tonks squirm in her seat. Any attempt she made at conversation with Keira was killed by a one-line answer. Desperate times called for desperate measures. She scrunched up her face and waited for Keira to look up and notice her altered features. Keira's eyes grew wide as she saw the duck's bill that now grace the pink-haired woman's face. Tonks promptly shifted it to a pig's snout while Keira stared in awe. Remus watched, snickering behind his hand. Finally Keira's curiosity overcame her fear. "How do you do that!" she gasped in amazement.

"I'm a metamorphmagous," Tonks explained, as she returned her nose back to its normal form, "I can change my appearance at will."

"Can all wizards do that?" Keira inquired, peering at Remus as if he had been holding out on her.

"No, Keira. I was born able to morph; it is a rare ability. I am different, like you and Remus," she took a breath, and then continued, "I want you to understand that you and Remus are _not_ my slaves. You can ask what you want, do what you want, and think what you want, as long as we are somewhere safe. I know this is scary, but I don't want you to be afraid."

"If Moony isn't your slave, why was he doing that with you on the couch?" she challenged, "Did you buy him for special kisses?"

Tonks spluttered, but Remus fielded her question. "No, Keira. Dora and I don't share special kisses just yet. Dora is my very good friend, if fact, we are going to be married. Dora, show her your ring." Obediently, Tonks pulled the moonstone ring by its chain from beneath her shirt and presented it for Keira's inspection. "See, I gave Dora that ring three months ago, one month before I met you. She loves me even though I am a werewolf, and I love her very much in return. She came to the auction to save me and when she saw you, she wanted to save you as well."

Keira once again looked at Tonks suspiciously. "Shouldn't that be on your finger?"

Tonks laughed nervously. "Remus told me not to. He said that I would get into trouble if anyone found out. Do you want to know a secret? _My mother doesn't even know_." It was true. Her mother didn't know she was in the Order, and didn't know she met Remus while investigating Sirius' escape from Azkaban. _Mum, I met this werewolf at the pub the other night_, sounded more like the opening to a joke than anything else. It was safer for her mother at this point to keep her in the dark. By the time she and Remus were serious, they were either deeply engaged in hiding a criminal or in a secret society that the Ministry and the Death Eaters would both love to crush. _Not exactly the bonding activities you can explain to your mum_, Tonks thought. Even though Tonks kept her tone light, Remus knew how much the secrecy hurt her. He squeezed her hand under the table.

Keira gasped, staring at Tonks with a new respect. "You love him enough to leave your Mommy?"

Tonks nodded, looking into Remus' eyes. "I do, and I love him even more than that."

"I was the flower girl at my cousin's wedding. Are wizard weddings the same as muggle weddings? When you and Moony get married, can I be a flower girl?"

"They are pretty similar, except for the magic. I would love to have you as a flower girl, once we all get out of this mess."

Keira nodded her head in approval. "She seems nice, Moony, if you are sure she isn't dangerous."

Remus chuckled. "I am very sure. Why don't you put on the clothes Dora bought last night so the two of you can go shopping? I am afraid I feel a nap coming on and will therefore have to bow to Dora's prowess when it comes to shopping." Keira's eyes widened slightly, but Remus waved her out with his hand. "You'll be fine, now scoot!"

Keira scurried into Tonks' bedroom, leaving the two adults alone again. "Special kisses?" she choked, "Please don't tell me that means what I think it means." Remus nodded sadly. Tonks felt the bile rising in the back of her throat. _Thank God they are safe_, Tonks thought, knowing the little girl and Remus could have faced a much darker fate. Remus pulled her close as few relieved tears began to leak from her eyes. "Shhh, we are safe now. Go get dressed so you can take Keira shopping in time to get back for the meeting."

Tonks rose from her chair, pausing to place a firm kiss on Remus' lips. "I love you," she reminded him, then turned away and walked to her bedroom.

**What do you think? Love it? Hate it? I challenge all of my readers to review and tell me their favorite part, either in this chapter or in the story so far.**

**I would also like to alert my readers to the coup being staged by EmmaLupinCutterCullenWho and .Sparkles to make the numbers of RLxNT fics surpass that of RLxSB fics. Only 3,000 to go! Clearly, a lot of help is needed, so post those fics! And REVIEW!**


	10. Brothers

**Here the next chapter! Very few people took me up on my challenge. I must confess myself… disappointed. Imaginary cookies to anyone who knows who said that and heard it in the character's voice. Imaginary cookies also go to QueenAnneMagic, ThisLoveHasNoCeiling, Professor Pang, and snitchstar for reviewing the last chapter as well as many of the others. Thanks for your support!**

**I will take this opportunity for some shameless self-promotion. Check out my other fic, **_**Dear Baby**_**, and tell me what you think. It is another RLNT set during Deathly Hallows. It is in no way connected to this story and will follow cannon.**

**There once was a man who made pottery. He was so hairy that everyone was afraid to talk to him. I own the rights to the hairy potter, but I do not own **_**Harry Potter.**_

Shopping with Keira went better than Tonks dared hope. Though still shy, Keira was beginning to come out of her shell. Tonks had apparated them to a muggle town far away from London and morphed her appearance so they could act more naturally. She quickly discovered that Keira was a very intelligent, curious girl who shared Tonks' taste in bright colors. After they were done shopping, they sat on a park bench to eat sandwiches while Tonks amused her with tales of her Hogwarts days. Keira giggled at each prank and gasped at each of the schools magical oddities. Several hours after they had left, they stumbled back into the flat, heavily laden with shopping bags.

"I see your mission was a success," said Remus, "It seems the two of you have plundered a small village." In a lower voice he added, "How can you afford this, Dora?"

She simply waved him off. "I can manage," she answered in an equally quiet tone. He gave her another _we will talk about this later_ look and once again Tonks dreaded the time later would come around. "Let's show Moony what we got!" she suggested cheerily and Keira eagerly obliged. Remus _ooh_'ed and _ahh_'ed over each outfit and toy held out for his inspection. Tonks pulled her old trunk from under her bed and emptied it of its contents, which mostly consisted of rubbish and unmatched socks that hadn't seen the light of day since she left Hogwarts. "There!" she cried when she was finished, "Now you can have a place to keep your things!" Keira lovingly folded her clothes and laid them in the trunk and placed the few stuffed animals, dolls, and books they had bought on top.

Remus looked at his watch and exclaimed, "It's almost five! The meeting should be starting soon. We should get going."

"Why don't you change into one of your new outfits, Keira?" The little girl shooed them both out of the bedroom so she could change. A few moments later, she emerged wearing a long pink sweater embroidered with a cupcake and purple tights. Tonks ruffled the Keira's dark curls. "Very cute! Are you both ready to leave? Remus, you've got two jumpers? Okay, let's go." She and Remus pulled on their cloaks and led the way out the door to an alley across the street.

Remus insisted that Tonks side-along apparate all three of them. Tonks filed that away for further discussion whenever _later_ came around and did as he asked. They appeared in the park across the street from headquarters. Tonks dug in her pocket for the scrap of paper. She found it and gave it to Keira, warning her not to read it out loud. She looked at the slanting script that said _The Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix are at Number 12 Grimmauld Place_ and nodded, indicating she had read it. Immediately Tonks took the paper and burned it. "You want me to take Keira, Remus?" she asked, knowing he was still sore. He nodded and she opened her arms to the little girl, who allowed herself to be picked up and balanced on Tonks' hip. Tonks rearranged her cloak so that their identities were obscured in its dark folds and lead the way to the front door. She heard Keira gasp as Number 12 sprung up between its neighboring buildings, but she seemed to know better than to be loud.

Tonks entered the door first and predictably caught her foot on the troll's leg umbrella stand. Remus reached out to grab her before she fell, but not before Keira could give a squeal of surprise. The curtains in front of the portrait flew open and Mrs. Black began screaming, "_Filth! Mudbloods! Half-breeds! Traitorous blood of my blood! How dare you disgrace this house with your presence?"_

"Shut up you old hag!" Sirius yelled, closing the curtains with a violent flick of his wand, "Hello there, Moony. I thought I heard you come in." The two men stood staring and smiling at each other for a second, but soon pulled each other into a brotherly embrace. "You gave us quite a turn there," Sirius said finally, holding Remus at arm's length, "You look like you've been trampled by a herd of hippogriffs."

"Thank you, Sirius, you always know how to make a man feel good about his image," Remus retorted sarcastically.

"And who is this lovely lady?" he asked, turning to Keira who was making her best effort to disappear into Tonks' cloak, "Don't mind my mother. She yells, but what can she do? She's just a painting."

"Keira, this is my cousin and Moony's best friend, Sirius."

Sirius shook the girls hand then abruptly changed into the shaggy black dog. Keira gasped again, "You're Padfoot!" she exclaimed, much to everyone's surprise except Remus', "Moony told me all about you."

Sirius withdrew his paw and turned back into a man, a broad smile on his haggard face. "Only the good things, I hope." Keira nodded. "The meeting is about to start in the kitchen. Molly has set out enough food to feed an army in the drawing room and Madame Pomfrey is in there to see to all the, um…"

"Slaves?" Remus supplied dryly. Sirius lost all his bravado as if Remus had slapped him. He opened his mouth, then closed it again and turned to walk to the downstairs kitchen. Tonks threw Remus a withering look and walked to the drawing room. "I'm not scared of a word, Dora. I notice how you tiptoe around it and now Sirius, who never tiptoes around anything, does it. Will everyone do it now? I am a slave. You might as well call it what it is." He didn't sound angry just very tired. Tonks hugged him awkwardly, since she was still holding Keira with one arm.

"You will never be a slave to me. I still see you as my equal, if not my superior, just as before. No scrap of paper can ever change that."

"You have always been too good for me."

"I think the same about you. We will just have to agree to disagree. We better hurry before Sirius dives head first in to a bottle." She silenced his protest will a soft kiss before she loosened her hold on him, but still held his hand in hers as they walked together to the drawing room.

They opened the door to find a large group, mostly children, helping themselves to the food that covered the table dragged in from the kitchen. They were still a sickly-looking, downtrodden bunch, if a better dressed one, Tonks noted. Sheets blocked off a makeshift exam room in the corner where Madam Pomfrey attended her patients. One emerged just as Tonks, Remus, and Keira entered. Tonks put Keira down and led her toward the older witch. "Madam Pomfrey, this is Keira. Keira, this is the healer from Hogwarts. She used to take care of me and Moony."

Keira waved hello and Madam Pomfrey smiled welcomingly. She then assessed Keira and Remus with pursed lips. "Just like the others!" she exclaimed, "Malnourished and a whole host of other issues! I am glad you are back Remus," she finished warmly. Tonks knew she had seen more of Remus in his days as a student then as a teacher than any patient. The brusque old matron clearly had developed an attachment.

"Meeting's starting soon, best hurry. Will you be okay, Keira?"

The little girl looked at the healer suspiciously. "Are you going to give me a shot?"

"Heavens no, girl! That is a muggle trick, about as nonsensical and barbaric as stitches if you ask me!"

"I like her," Keira stated simply. Tonks and Remus chuckled while Madam Pomfrey smiled thinly.

Tonks took that as a dismissal and ducked out of the tented exam area. She was in the hall before she realized that she was alone. She turned to see Remus still in the drawing room, rocking back and forth on his heels as if he didn't quite know what to do with himself. "Remus, aren't you coming?"

He ruffled his hair uncomfortably. "Don't you think I am a bit of a liability now?"

"Don't be ridiculous! Do you want to continue to be part of the Order?" He nodded. "Fine, come to the meeting. We've missed you, and you can't tell me you are more of a liability than Mundungus. Sirius is practically on house arrest."

"I suppose you have a point," he conceded.

"I always do," she said with a smile, "Come now, we need to hurry. Can't have them thinking we are making mischief in the entry way." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and glanced over her shoulder at him impishly as she sauntered down to the basement kitchen. He rolled his eyes and followed her down the stairs.

**Please review. Tell me one thing you have loved so far or anything that is nagging at you. I won't know what needs to be improved on unless someone tells me. It can be short like "Keira is cute as a button" or "What is it with you and commas, woman?" Feel free to PM me if you prefer.**


	11. Reunions and Favors

**AN: This chapter was surprisingly difficult to write, so sorry if it is not as good as the others. As a warning to all, I will be returning to school next week, so updates will become less frequent. I will do what I can, but I can make no guarantees about a timeframe for updates. Maybe reviews will help me move faster.**

**I do not own Harry Potter, much to my deep regret.**

When Remus and Tonks entered the kitchen, the hum of conversation fell silent and everyone in the room looked at the newcomers like they were ghosts. _We probably look more like corpses_ Tonks thought morbidly, thinking of their thin, bony frames and pale, tired faces. They had seen her on her decline, though, and a few had seen Remus in worse shape than this yesterday at the auction. Clearly Sirius had given them warning.

Finally, just as the couple had begun to shift uncomfortably under the gaze of so many eyes, Molly broke the silence. "Remus," she welcomed, "So good to see you again," she hugged him briefly, as though he had just been gone on holiday for a week or two. The rest of the Order seemed to take this as an invitation. After much hand-shaking and back-clapping from the men and hugging from the women, everyone settled back down and found their usual seats. Since the table was otherwise engaged upstairs, the chairs were arranged in a circle around where is usually stood. This meant that Tonks couldn't hold Remus' hand under the table, but she was too happy to have him by her side again to care. Molly glanced at their entwined fingers and gave Tonks a knowing smile. Tonks returned the smile before turning to Sirius and deftly plucking the firewhiskey bottle from his grasp.

"Fancy a glass?"

She felt Remus tightened his hold on her hand. "Kicking the habit," she informed him, "Not quite teetotal, but I am swearing off the hard stuff."

Sirius nodded his head proudly, "And you other habit?" he inquired.

"I'm working on that one too. I still have the cravings to contend with, but I am going to try to do it cold turkey."

"Glad my baby cousin isn't rushing herself off to an early grave. Give me back my bottle if you aren't going to use it."

"Why don't you stay sober?" Remus asked, "You're a very depressing drunk and I could use a bit of your humor at the moment."

"Better than a maudlin drunk like you. Word to the wise Tonksie, if he drinks enough he turns into a philosophical poet."

Remus smirked in response and Sirius seemed to take this as either forgiveness for whatever had upset Remus earlier or his apology for being upset in the first place, because he smiled at his old friend and allowed Tonks to vanish the contents of the bottle.

Dumbledore entered through the floo and immediately the kitchen was called to order. "I do believe we can venture to call yesterday's operation a success. Through Order efforts and support from sympathizers, no children fell into Death Eater hands and we were even able to save some adults. Welcome back, Remus; you have been missed." His eyes then turned to Tonks, who fought not to squirm under the gaze of his piercing blue eyes. "All of you who won your bid will have to alter your wills to include whomever you purchased. You should will them to someone, preferably within the Order, who you would know well enough outside the Order that it would not be suspicious for them to be written into your will."

"If we fail to do this, will our… slaves be free upon our deaths?" Tonks inquired, ignoring the strangled growl emanating from the back of Remus' throat and the way his hand tightened around hers.

"No. If you fail to do this, they will immediately fall under ministry control," his eyes held a knowing twinkle, then he continued, "After you have written someone into your will, you will then have to perform a secondary bonding spell with this person and send the paperwork to the ministry."

"What are you playing at?" Remus whispered into Tonks' ear.

"No one's survival is certain," she hedged, "I would die happier knowing you and Keira were free."

"Freedom would come as a bitter comfort if it meant you were dead. Remember that."

She nodded and turned her attention back to the meeting. Dumbledore was now passing out a stack of bright pink booklets. Tonks took one from the stack as it floated by her. _The Ministry Guide to Werewolf Domestication_ by Dolores Jane Umbridge, it read in bold purple letters. _Figures the toad would write rubbish like this_, Tonks thought, glaring at the little booklet balefully. "As you can see, the Ministry is leaving the treatment of werewolves largely up to their owners. The only things mandated are that they must be contained at the full moon, they may not be freed, and they may not own property. Anything that belonged to them before, now legally belongs to their owners."

"Our debts?" Remus inquired.

"They were paid off with the price of sale."

"Marvelous," he said wryly, "I am debt-free for the first time in my adult life. I never thought I would see the day."

Dumbledore continued with his list. "They are not permitted to have a vault and Gringotts. They are not to go anywhere without their owner's permission. If they attempt to apparate unbidden, or to a place other than told, they will be splinched without even moving from their location. They are not allowed to enter into legal contracts."

_Like marriage,_ Tonks thought.

"Beyond that, their use and their treatment are left to the owner's discretion. You should all familiarize yourselves with the contents of this book. The binding spell seems to be some form of the Imperious curse. I am, as of yet, uncertain of its scope and power or if it may be thrown off like the Imperious curse. As for now, I suggest you all go sample the lovely supper that I am sure Molly has prepared." One by one, the others filtered out the door. Remus and Tonks rose to follow Sirius, but Dumbledore stopped them before they could reach the first stair. "Remus, Nymphadora, if I may have a word, please?" Fervently hoping they would not be discussing her past misbehavior, Tonks returned to the kitchen, closely followed by Remus.

"First of all, I was not just speaking of practical reasons before. I am glad you are safe, Remus. Second, I am afraid I must once again ask too much of the both of you." Tonks tried, and failed, to suppress a snort. "Are you quite all right, Nymphadora?"

"Oh yeah, sorry. Carry on."

"As I said before, I am not sure of the scope of the binding spell. With both of your consent, I would like it if the two of you would test it. Since you, Remus, have had experience in fighting the Dark Arts, it will not be a definitive test of the average werewolf's ability to defy their master, but if anyone could push aside the curse, it would be you."

Tonks shook her head. She had been trained to throw of the Imperious curse when studying to be an Auror under Mad-Eye, and she knew it was mentally and physically fatiguing, even when she was in peak fitness. With Remus in the shape he was in, it would probably be unsuccessful and send him back to Madam Pomfrey. That was all not even considering the additional spells added to the binding. "Absolutely not," she protested, just as Remus spoke, "I'll do it."

"We most certainly will not! Who knows what will happen, and with the shape you are in you may not walk away from whatever the Ministry has planned for those who disobey."

"I want to be useful," he protested.

"Naturally we would wait until Remus is fully recovered before attempting anything of the sort," Dumbledore assured her. She nodded, tight lipped, but did not protest further. "I must now ask something of you. We also need to test if a slave can assault their master, and by what means. With your consent, we will test this on you."

She nodded, sure she had taken worse than whatever Remus would dish out at her. "I will not do it," Remus protested.

"Oh, so it is fine for you to risk you neck in the name of being useful, but not for me?"

"I don't want to hurt you, Dora."

"He didn't say you would have to hurt my badly, a few stunners and a couple of hits should suffice, right sir?"

"She can even deflect them."

Remus and Tonks stared at each other unblinkingly, each waiting for the other to say they would not carry through with their half of the bargain. After it became clear that neither would give in, they turned to Dumbledore.

"I will leave the two of you to discuss this later without me pressuring you either way. I regret I will need to miss dinner. Alas, duty calls."

"Dora, you go ahead. I need to discuss something with Dumbledore."

Tonks looked at him skeptically, but continued up the stairs. She had to ask Sirius something anyway. _The Later List is getting pretty long_, she reflected, _I wonder if we will cover it all in one later, or if the laters will ambush me at random moments_.

Tonks found her cousin sitting on the floor with an empty plate next to him. He was surrounded by children who sat at a cautious distance, obviously listening to a story. Sirius gestured wildly as he told his tale, and his enraptured listeners leaned closer in spite of themselves. It appeared he was reaching the end of the story, so Tonks waited until he pronounce, "The End," before approaching him.

"Hello, Tonksie," he greeted.

"Don't call me that."

"What? You need a nickname and I doubt you would like the name for a female wolf."

She glared at him, but ignored his insinuation. "A person's Animagus usually takes the form of their Patronous, correct?" Sirius nodded. "Even if their Patronous has changed?" she asked.

"Where are you going with this?"

"I want you to teach me to be an Animagus. I want to be able to be with Remus and Keira during full moons. I don't plan on registering," she supplied.

"You are sure? It isn't easy and can be painful is something goes wrong."

"I am sure."

"I will help you then," he said with a sigh. Tonks threw her arms around her cousin just as Remus entered the room and joined them.

"What has Sirius done to deserve a hug?"

"He is my most beloved cousin," she proclaimed before thinking it over, "Considering my other cousins want me dead, it wasn't much of a contest."

"Hey!" Sirius protested, but Remus was diverted and that was all that mattered to Tonks. "Looks like she has come for the two of you," Sirius warned, pointing out Molly. She was making her way toward them balancing two plates heavily laden with food. _Let the doting begin_, Tonks thought plastering a smile on her face.

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. As always, please review. I won't know what to change about my writing unless someone tells me. PM me if you don't want to review.**


	12. Healing

**AN: My lovely readers! I hope you have not given up on me. Going back to school has been hectic. I could go into a sob story about how I have not gotten to bed before 1:30 the past two nights, and have waked up at 5:30, but I am sure I am not the only one. The good news is, I am back to work in the lab where I sit alone, in a very quiet room and watch solution fall down a tube. **_**Fall **_**is probably the wrong word, because it implies fast action. Creep is a better word. I should have ample time in between repetitions to write. I also hope to update **_**Dear Baby **_**sometime this weekend. I did write a tiny little oneshot, **_**To an Auror Dying Young**_**. If you haven't read it please do and tell me what you think. It is not nearly as sad as it sounds. I also highly recommend the Housman poem it is inspired by, **_**To an Athlete Dying Young.**_

**If I was J.K. Rowling, I would not be buried under a pile of homework. Anything you recognize belongs to her.**

It was several large helpings of dinner before Tonks and Remus were able to pry themselves out of Molly's doting grasp, proclaiming that one more bite would make them burst. They were once again cornered my Madam Pomfrey who fussed at Remus for trying to escape unexamined. They headed off to the makeshift exam room in the corner. Tonks paused at the door. "Can I come in?" she asked. Madam Pomfrey answered in the affirmative, but Tonks was looking to Remus. He nodded a bit reluctantly, but moved over to make room for her on the table next to him.

"Remus, I need you to tell me what happened to you," she said gently. He didn't answer. "I can leave if you want," Tonks offered.

He grabbed her hand when she jumped down from the table top. "No, you can stay, but only if you want to." She wasn't sure she did, but she sat down again, still gripping his hand to support herself or him, she didn't know. He took a deep breath before he launched into the whole story, beginning with the unhealed wounds from the moon, to the starvation, to beatings, to hexes, and finally to dementors. Tonks continued to hold his hand and attempted to block out the horrific images forming in her mind's eye. Madam Pomfrey told him to remove his shirt, and after a momentary pause and a sharp look he complied. The matron clucked in disapproval as she examined the ribs through sickly pale skin.

Tonks studied his ghastly skinny body carefully for the first time, forcing herself to take note of every cut and bruise so that she would she would not cause him pain when she embraced him. Though he had always been thin and lanky, his ribs were now his predominant feature and his sternum was sharply defined. His bruised wrists were so thin that it was a wonder that the shackles were able to hold him. He shivered in the cold, but he didn't seem to notice; no doubt he was used to it now. Despite last night's ministrations, blotches and streaks of deep purple and blue colored his skin. Two particularly large ones were spread over his left side and the sunken area of his abdomen just under his ribs. She had always thought his hands very graceful with their long, thin fingers. The knuckles on those hands now stood out like knots on a twig. The overall impression of fragility almost moved her to tears. She held himself together for his sake, ignoring the urge to fumble in her pockets for something that she knew wasn't there. The need for calm and control was a dull ache in the back of her skull, an ache very much akin to hunger.

She turned her attention back to Remus when he gasped at Madam Pomfrey's examination of the dark bruise on his ribs. "The fracture is stable and seems to be healing nicely. Same as everyone else, malnourished, dehydrated, multiple abrasions and contusions," she pressed a stethoscope to his chest, "I hear a bit of rattling. It should be fine, but it is something we should be proactive about. I prescribe dittany and Bruise-away every night, a weight gain potion, and a pain potion to be taken at each meal. This is a potion to clear out the lungs, and keep up the Skele-grow, but only at night. Here is a list, in case you need reminding." She handed the bag over to Tonks while Remus put on his shirt and two jumpers. The stern older lady pulled each of them into a brief embrace. "Take care," she ordered. They thanked her for her help and assured her they would follow her instructions implicitly.

As they were about to leave Tonks pulled back. "Why don't you go ahead and grab Keira? I need to get Madam Pomfrey to look at where I fell the other day." He nodded and went in search of the little girl.

"What is it Miss Tonks?"

"It's Remus," she explained, "I'm sure you noticed the... name on the back of his neck."

The healer's face tightened, but she nodded, "Yes, what of it?"

"Is there any way to make it heal up and go away completely?"

She shook her head sadly. "The scar is magical. It will be there as long as he is under the spell."

"You are sure there is nothing?"

"All you can do is to heal it so that the wound closes. There is nothing you can do but ease the pain."

"Thank you Madam Pomfrey," she said as she turned to leave.

"Miss Tonks," the older woman called, causing Tonks to pause, "I know you will take better care of him than anyone. Have a bit of faith in the both of you."

"You are a much better healer than I am."

"I am good at healing physical hurts. Easing the mental suffering is an occupation best left to the one he loves most. I trust you not to neglect our patient Miss Tonks."

The younger woman nodded and turned to say goodbye to the rest of the gathering in the drawing room. Remus was waiting for her, laughing with Sirius and Keira. "Are you ready to go home, Dora?" he asked. She nodded and picked up their discarded cloaks. After many goodbyes and promises to come over for dinner, she swept Keira into the folds of the dark cloak and they melted into the night.

By the time they had apparated to the alley down the road and walked to the flat, Keira was fast asleep on Tonks' shoulder. "I am going to put her to bed," she whispered, "Do you want go to sleep as well? You look very tired."

"I am tired," he assured her, mirroring her hushed tone, "Goodnight, love." He kissed the top of her head and then went to his bedroom and shut the door.

Tonks carried Keira to hers and tucked her snugly into bed. The clothes she was wearing were soft and comfortable, so she didn't risk waking her to change her. Madam Pomfrey had already done her nightly healing regimen, now she needed to sleep. Quietly, Tonks slipped into her nightclothes, grabbed a quilt and crept to the couch. Remus had already beaten her to it. He was settling into the worn cushions underneath a thick blanket. "Just what do you think you are doing?"

"Sleeping," he returned, quirking his eyebrow.

"Why aren't you in your bed?"

"It's your house. You should sleep in a bed."

"Exactly, I am hostess. It is only right that you get the bed."

"Dora, I want you to be comfortable. Please go to bed."

"I won't. If you don't leave the couch, I will sleep on the floor, wait for you to fall asleep, and then move you into the bed by myself."

"You are being absurd."

"I'm not in the mood to argue with you, Remus, just go to bed."

To her great surprise, he relinquished his place on the couch. "Goodnight, Nymphadora." Considering her victory, she let him get away with the use of her first name. _It almost sounds beautiful when he says _it, Tonks thought. _Hopefully we won't have this fight over sleeping arrangements every night._ She didn't want him to think she was angry, so she caught him with a kiss on the lips as he passed her and returned his goodnight wishes cheerfully. She listened to his door close and the bedsprings creak as he fell into bed. "Goodnight, Remus," she murmured as she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.

**Thank you for everyone who reviewed the last chapter. I realize this isn't exactly an action-packed chapter, but I promise the next one should be better. I wanted to make this great comeback with this excellent chapter, but alas, a transition was needed. Please read and review. It makes me smile. Smiley moods make me want to write. That's all I'm going to say.**


	13. Night Terror

**Once again, it has been awhile. I am uploading as much as I can, but school insists on getting in the way. Anyway, please review. This chapter has been in my head for a while, but unfortunately it only popped up in fragments that were supposed to fit somehow. It is picking up on the action…**

**I don't own Harry Potter. If I did, I would not be going to school and working for minimum wage.**

It was after the clock stuck midnight when rough hands pulled Tonks from her bed on the couch. She tried to scream, to warn Remus that they were not safe, but she was mute. She recognized the dark robes and masks of Death Eaters. She prayed that she was the target, and they would capture or kill her and leave Remus and Keira alone. Her hands were tied behind her back and she was forced to kneel on the hearth rug at the feet of a dark, imposing figure. "Did you actually believe that you could fool me, Nymphadora?" a man's oily voice sneered.

"Don't call me Nymphadora," she returned with false bravado, spitting at her uncle's feet, "How do you think I fooled you?"

Lucius slapped her so hard across the face her eyes began to water, and then turned to his comrades. "Fetch me her dog. We will see if she can figure it out." She did figure it out, and it took a split second to decide that screaming would not help. The other Death Eaters had already forced their way through Remus' door. Not saying a word as they dragged him out and threw him to the floor was the hardest thing she had ever done. He groaned and rolled to look at her, eyes wide with panic. She forced herself to look away.

"I demand to know the meaning of this!" she hissed imperiously, adopting the tone she had taken at the auction.

"I think you already do. You will find, Nymphadora, that we do not appreciate being made fools of. I don't believe you bought this slave to serve you."

"What other purpose would I have for him?" she inquired, voice even and poker face firmly secure.

"You did it out of _love_," he spat, "Or else because the old man told you to."

"You are sadly mistaken. How could I love an animal?" The words tasted vile in her throat.

Lucius laughed at her. "How interesting. If he means nothing to you, I suppose you wouldn't care if I did this. _Crucio!_" She bit her tongue as Remus groaned and cringed in agony. After a minute that felt like a century, the curse was removed and he was left coughing and heaving on the floor. "No reaction? What say you now? _Crucio!_" Remus' cries tore the still night air, and tears began to well in Tonk's eyes.

"I would appreciate it if you stopped that. The neighbors will complain and he will not be able to serve properly tomorrow."

"You lie. I see the tears in your eyes! I have seen you enter Grimmauld Place with him! You will tell me everything you know about the Order of the Phoenix or he will die. Speak!"

"I don't know what you are talking about," she said evenly, though she could feel the color drain from her face.

"Really? You confirm that neither you nor your slave has any knowledge of the Order of the Phoenix?"

"I do."

"Well, I see no reason to continue here. _Avada Kedavra._" Tonks screamed as the flash of green encompassed Remus' body. She struggled against her bonds to fall beside his still body. Lucius laughed coldly at her sobs as he and his companions left her. Her cries reverberated through the flat as she clutched Remus' still form to her chest. She could hear Keira crying and banging her fists against her bedroom door. His last spell had been to lock her safely away. Tonks couldn't move, she just lay beside him and prayed for death to take her before morning.

**Cliffie! Keep calm, press the review button, say what you think, and move on to the next chapter.**


	14. Later

*****Alert! I posted two chapters at once! Go back and read Chapter 13 before you start this one!**

**You may all now take to opportunity to thank me for posting these back to back. You're welcome.**

**I have not gained the rights to Harry Potter in the thirty seconds that I last posted.**

Tonks woke with a start, sweat drenching her body. She panted as she struggled to throw off the quilt wrapped around her legs. She quickly evaluated the room. She was lying on the floor next to the couch with her hands free. Her floor was clear; the clock on the mantle read 1:00 a.m. She sighed and collapsed back to her pillows. It was just a dream, but it had felt so real. She arose and rummaged around in her cupboards and drawers. Where are those blasted things?

"You won't find them." She jumped at the sound and saw Remus standing at the door to his room. She flung herself at him, but backed away when he grunted. "Dora? What is wrong? You look like you have seen a ghost."

"I'm fine."

"What were you looking for?"

"Nothing," she hedged, turning to rummage through her lime green briefcase. Mad-Eye had passed it down to her when he had retired; she had declined the matching bowler hat.

"I told you that you wouldn't find them," he reminded her, "Were you going to drink or smoke?" he asked in a tone that dared her to deny planning to do either.

"Both, actually, what did you do with my whiskey and cigarettes?"

"I took the liberty of throwing them down the trash chute while you took Keira shopping. You said you were giving them both up. Why did you change your mind?"

"I haven't. I was going to take one drink and have one smoke just to calm down, then go right back to bed. Don't look at me that way."

"We need to talk." She nodded and followed him into his bedroom and sat cross-legged on the bed. It's later, she mused. He lay down next to her, sighing heavily as he did. She waited patiently as he settled underneath the covers. "What happened that made you so upset."

"Nightmares, it's nothing new," she shrugged, "I suppose I was just in the routine of have a drink and a couple of drags, go to bed, have a nightmare, wake up, lather, rinse, and repeat. I was a fool to think I could suddenly break the cycle. I never wanted you to see me this way. I'm sorry."

He pulled her next to him, sliding her under the quilt. "You don't have anything to be sorry for. You are trying and that is all I can ask. If you don't mind me asking, what are these dreams about?"

She nestled in closer to him. "They are different most nights, but they have a recurring theme. When you first left, I had nightmares of you being mauled. I was able to tell myself that was ridiculous because the full moon hadn't happened yet, so I took Dreamless Sleep Potion and brushed it off. After you were captured and I was told I would be the one to buy you back, it got worse. The stress compounded the effects of the dreams. These would not be dismissed because they were so real. I saw you in Azkaban, hurt and alone. I saw you back here with me, but it was all wrong. You didn't look at me the same. You would tell me you loved me, but it would never touch your eyes. There was no love, just hurt and resentment. By this time the drinking and smoking habit was firmly in place and the Dreamless Sleep Potion had run out.

Tonight's dream was totally different. Death Eaters came and they were trying to make me talk about the Order. They wouldn't stop hurting you, but I had to let them because I knew it would only get worse if they knew I cared. I told them neither of us knew anything, and then… they killed you."

"Dora… shhh, it's okay. We are both safe now. I love you, and we are both safe. I wouldn't leave you if I could. Why didn't you tell me about the dreams instead of trying to drown them from now on?"

She nodded and wiped away her tears. She wasn't quite sure when she had started crying.

"I'm not sure I feel safe here, Remus. I want to go somewhere Unplottable, where our neighbors aren't literally on top of us. We could buy a house in the country."

"How can you afford that? Come to think of it, how can you afford to support all three of us? I found the Gringotts voucher in your pocket when I did laundry today…"

"What were you doing cleaning?"

"I wanted to, Dora. Anyway, I saw that you withdrew half the gold from your account the day before the auction and certified how much additional gold you had free for transfer. Please tell me you did not throw your whole livelihood away."

"First off, I told you before that I'm not afraid of poverty and I meant it. I would rather be in the poorhouse with you than rich with anyone else. Second, Dumbledore gave me a large sum for you; I did not pay a sickle from my own pocket. Keira was paid for in part by what was left from what Dumbledore gave me, and in part by me."

"Then why did you have that much ready to go if Dumbledore gave you gold?"

"I was prepared for a betting war with Lucius Malfoy."

"You would have spent everything you had on me?"

"I would, and gladly. You are everything to me, Remus Lupin, don't ever forget it," she tenderly held his face and kissed him on the lips, "To answer your concerns, my job is adequate to support the three of us. You clearly know the state of my savings account, so you shouldn't have to worry about not being able to afford a down payment. It won't be a manor, but it will be away and that is all I ask."

"You will still have to cut back a lot. I was reading the pamphlet, and it said that I can work to earn extra money…"

"You can get money for me, you mean, not yourself. I am not going to hire you out like video rental. It is out of the question. They will not treat you like you deserve to be treated, and I will not let you take their abuse for any sum of money."

"I want to help you, Dora. I could tutor, or shop keep, or pretty much anything. I've got a wide variety of job experiences; of course I never stayed in one place long enough to master a particular trade." His tone was grave and pleading.

"Fine, I will make a deal with you. You can work if we are on the edge of financial ruin, and not a moment sooner. Until then, you will have to satisfy yourself with being Keira's tutor. I won't even fuss if you try to cook and clean."

"I will accept that for now. Speaking of business, we need to empty my account and transfer it to yours tomorrow. I don't have much gold, but I have a bit of my parents' furniture."

"Why? The goblins don't care about Ministry legislation."

"The Ministry would find out, and you know it. I don't see the problem. We were going to combine our bank accounts when we got married, why is this different?"

"I feel like a thief," she said miserably.

"The only thing you stole was my heart."

She snorted, "That was so cheesy!" She fought a smile but ended up giggling with her face buried in his jumper.

"It did make you laugh, though." She could hear the smile in his voice and knew that was his intention all along. He is much too good for me.

"Ok, I will do it. While we are on the topic of business… Um, I am going to have to rewrite my will soon. I wish I could will you to Sirius or Harry, but I have no reason to be attached to either of them. I have an excuse not to send you to my parents, namely that they don't condone Ministry prejudice. Do you have a… um… preference?"

"I would prefer you didn't die," he stated flatly, kissing the top of her head in a way that was all at once soothing and very distracting.

"I will try, but we can't take anything for granted. It would be best for you to remain within the Order, both for Keira's protection and so you can continue to participate. The only people I could reasonably write in my will would be Kingsley or Mad-Eye, the Weasleys if you want to stretch it. I will go with whatever you choose, so long as you don't choose to put all your faith in my survival."

"I would be a burden to the Weasleys; Molly doesn't need another mouth to feed. Mad-Eye would be a bit… disconcerting to leave with, and besides, he is known to be a Ministry malcontent. Kingsley is probably the best option. He is a good sort; I think we would get on reasonably well. Do me a favor. Please don't die."

She chuckled. "I told you I will do my best." They sat in comfortable silence for a long while, each simply enjoying the other's close proximity. He pulled her in close to his side and she gingerly laid her head on his chest. A deep sigh of contentment escaped Tonks' lips as she breathed in his scent, somehow unchanged. Eventually, Remus broke the silence.

"Are you tired?"

"A bit, it's…" she looked at the clock on the bedside table, "Merlin! It's nearly three! I'll go back to sleep." She tried to get up and return to the couch, but Remus pulled her back down next to him."

"Why don't you stay here?"

"I thought we were through with this discussion."

"You told me to go to bed, not leave the argument."

"I- oh, Remus! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it like that," she leaned forward to bury her face in knees, "How can you be so nice to me after that?"

He put his hand on her shoulder, making her cringe. "I know you didn't mean to do it; you only wanted me to be a comfortable. This is new to both of us and neither of us knows exactly how the spell works. We will learn as we go. I can guarantee you are not the only one to slip up." She nodded miserably. She let him pull her down next to him so that they were face to face and stroke her cheek. He kissed her lips gently, she responded in an attempt to communicate how sorry she was and how much she loved him. "I think I could get used to this," he mused once they stopped to breathe, "Imagine, this is like it will be every night once we are married."

A lone tear rolled down her cheek, "How are we going to be married now? You heard what the pamphlet said. You can't enter into any legal contracts, and a marriage certificate is a legal agreement."

"I don't know about you, but I don't much care about the Ministry's blessing. Wizards and witches got married long before they, or any firm government institution even existed. We could get married as they did. Dumbledore said that the marriage has been used for other weddings that a couple wanted to keep quiet." he paused, "Of course, I understand if you don't want to. I have even less to offer you now than I ever did before. I am not sure what will happen to you if we are discovered, which I find very unlikely. It bears further reading before you make your choice…"

"Yes."

"What?"

"I said yes, I will marry you. I don't care what that pamphlet says, as long as Dumbledore says that you aren't in danger from the spell, then I will be your wife." A smile broke across her face. She was so worried that she would lose him all together that she didn't dare hope that she could make him her husband. Knowing that she could make herself his brought back a bit of her old impulsive self, ready to act regardless of the consequences.

They resumed their kiss with new enthusiasm. His hands found the nape of neck and unfastened the chain that held the ring. The chain fell to the floor with a soft plunk, but neither of them noticed. He pulled her left hand away from its hold on the side of his face, and she pulled back, forehead still resting on his. Slowly, he slid the moonstone ring onto her ring finger, hands shaking just a little. "I think I like it better there." He kissed the ring, and then placed another gentle kiss on her lips.

"Me too," she sighed, resting on his chest once more. He buried his face in her hair and inhaled deeply. They sat continued to sit in that position, talking and planning, until they both fell into a peaceful sleep.

**Isn't that sweet? Aren't you glad I updated? You may leave your answers to both of these questions in a review. *wink* *wink***


	15. The Sun Will Rise

**Sorry for the long delay! I have had writers block and several other things going on. I had a Quidditch tournament on Sunday (not kidding), which was very fun and tiring. I was the only female beater on our team so I had to play all of every game we played! Preparations for the tournament kept me busy for the end of last week. I have also discovered **_**Hunger Games**_** and have been burning through those pretty quickly. I also had a bit of a mishap on Saturday with hair dye, so I have been shifting hair color more than a metamorphmagus this weekend. What should have been auburn turned out black and purple. Monday my stylists' solution was to lightly bleach it. That resulted in bright orange-red. I then used color oops last night, which I highly recommend, and that resulted in strawberry blonde lighter than my natural color due to the bleaching. Tonight I will redye it a very light brown to bring it back to my natural red-brown color. Should have done color oops in the first place! Oh well, you live you learn. Any-who! Happy Mardi Gras one day late, or Pancake Day, if that is more your thing. Since I don't like parades or drinking, I am thinking pancakes are more my style. Here is the next chapter. It is not fantastic, but it fills in a gap.**

**I don't own Harry Potter. Yet.**

The familiar cry of the alarm clock made Tonks stir in her deep slumber; she knew she ought to get up for work, but her bed was so warm and so comfortable... and so not the couch. "Good morning, sweetheart," breathed a husky voice in her ear. A shiver ran its way down her spine. This was so new, so different. Sure they had slept in the same bed the night they came home, but that was fully clothed and with Keira in between them. This was much more... intimate. She was acutely aware of how closely she was nestled into his side. Her head and her hand rested on his chest while one leg was entwined with one of his. Tonks blushed, thinking how very much this would look like special kisses to Keira. They weren't by any means indecent. Their clothes had remained on throughout the night, though she was suddenly self-conscious of her ratty cut off sweats and tank top that just barely qualified to be called decent. She was never very concerned about the state of her sleep clothes because no one was there to see them.

The only article of clothing taken off had been the jumper Remus was wearing over his pajama top. It was balled up on the floor where it had fallen last night during a particularly intense round of snogging. "I'm not cold anymore," he had stated simply when Tonks had given him a strange look. They had agreed to wait until after they married, each for their own reasons. The first man Tonks had ever come close to sleeping with had suggested she morph into his ex the moment her clothes hit the floor. She had left angry and embarrassed and swore that no man would ever make her feel used like that again. No, any man who wanted to sleep with her would have to prove his devotion to her, and _her alone_, by marrying her. For a very long time she was gun-shy about any kind of relationship with a man. Remus had put her uneasiness to rest and proved his devotion in more ways than she thought possible; she trusted him with her life. She knew he wouldn't take advantage of her, but a promise to oneself was not to be taken lightly. Besides, she had built up a romantic ideal of her wedding night and these days she couldn't afford to hold on to many of her daydreams. Had a loophole in the law not been found, she probably would have thrown that one out as well and dared any deity in existence to think that she was the one acting immorally. As for Remus, the best she could gather was a similar aversion to being used and left the next morning. So, their mutual agreement had held firm, though if truth be known Tonks was half way between pushing him away and taking off her clothes. She had stuck with the middle ground and thoroughly enjoyed their night of kissing, cuddling, and wedding-planning.

They hadn't even kissed all that much, but Tonks thought the quality by far made up for the quantity and hoped Remus agreed. She wondered if they hadn't done anything why she felt like something was different. Then she realized, they had fallen asleep in each other's arms and awakened in the same way. _This must be very much how it would feel to wake up a wife_, Tonks mused, toying with the ring on her finger. Suddenly she felt positively giddy with happiness. Not even Remus reminding her to get ready for work could drag her down. She kissed him on the lips playfully and bounded out of the room to put the kettle on. He smiled and pulled himself out of bed to follow her. His arm had fallen asleep while she was resting on it, but you wouldn't catch him complaining.

"Any nightmares?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Not a one," she smiled and twisted in his arms to kiss him on the lips.

"None for me either."

"You never said you had nightmares."

"Why do you think I was awake at one a.m.? A nightmare had woken me up and I couldn't fall asleep when I heard you scream." She blushed. She didn't know she had been really screaming. "I think having you there keeps the nightmares away."

"I think so, too. Perhaps we should make a permanent arrangement of it." His kiss was his reply. The continued kissing until the screaming kettle demanded their attention.

The two of them curled on the couch clutching their cups of tea and munching on toast and jam. Tonks was sorely tempted to call into work today. She didn't want to ever leave her place next to Remus on this sofa to enter the cruel, bigoted world and work for the government that she now hated. At the same time, she knew that she had to. She had to leave the sanctuary of her flat and today she would have to go with Remus to move all of his worldly possessions into her vault. She had to be useful to the Order and keep the three of them fed, and that meant keeping her job.

Tonks was just about to pull herself reluctantly from the couch when a knock on the door made them both jump to their feet, wands drawn. Last night's dream fresh in her mind, she motioned for Remus to back into the hall and crept to the door. She heard the lock on the door to Keira's click, then his footsteps behind her. "I thought I told you to hide?"

"I didn't think that was an order." he challenged, "Did you think I was going to let you fight alone?"

"Don't think of it as hiding; think of it as preparing to ambush."

"So that makes you the bait. I don't think so."

Tonks sighed heavily, running a hand through her hair. "Fine, you can follow me, just don't do anything stupid. And I answer the door."

He nodded reluctantly in agreement and fell in behind her. They continued to creep up to the door, wands raised. Another knock made them both jump. Once her heart rate had slowed down, she grabbed the doorknob and wrenched it open.

"Careful, Tonks," her visitor warned, "If you continue to answer the door this way people will begin to think you are hiding something."

There on her doorstep was Kingsley Shacklebolt; she did not lower her wand. "I am an Auror trained by Alastor Moody. I have reason to be paranoid. State your name."

"My name is Kingsley Shacklebolt. I am your coworker and fellow Order member. It was I who told you of the capture of your fiancé Remus John Lupin. For just under a month I have been coming by your place every morning to transfigure your hair for work and sober you up if you needed it. There was this one memorable occasion when you were so hung over it took throwing you into a cold shower and two bottles of hang over remedy to sober you up…"

"Okay! Enough! I believe you!" she opened up the door to allow him in, wincing at the admittedly fuzzy memories of that particularly bad night and the nightmares that caused it. She seemed to remember that Kingsley didn't think it was nearly this funny then.

"Morning, Remus!" he greeted in his deep rumbling voice, "Don't worry, I threw her in fully clothed. She was none too pleased with me." Remus waved his hand dismissively. Tonks was beginning to become irritated.

"I don't mean to sound rude, but what are you doing here?"

"No, that wasn't rude at all," he said teasingly, "I came to see if you needed me to change your hair for you. No offence, Remus, but I didn't know if any spell you put on her would hold. I see my services are not needed." Tonks pulled a lock of her hair into view and bright pink greeted her. She didn't notice the switch happen, but if someone had asked her what color she thought her hair was she was pretty sure she would have known before she looked. The happiness she was feeling this morning could only be accompanied by pink hair. Her irritation at her friend and coworker subsided and she invited him to stay for breakfast. He thanked her and said he would love to, took a seat, and fell into an easy conversation with Remus.

Once she had put together another plate of toast and jam and a cup of tea, she fell into her seat at the table. It seemed that they were talking about the two children, a little boy and girl that Kingsley had saved from the auction. Apparently their adjustment had not been smooth sailing. They were still very afraid of him. Tonks could understand that as he cut an opposing figure; admittedly she was somewhat afraid of him for her first month of training. His gentle ways and voice had eventually won her over and they laughed about it now. She reminded him of it but he shook his head. "Our situation was much different. We were coworkers and I hadn't done anything to you but say 'hello.' In their eyes, I am just another person who will hurt them. They can't afford to trust me. Besides, you had spunk; I am afraid if they ever had any it has been beaten down."

She shuddered, but cast Kingsley a sympathetic look. "Where are they today? Not home alone, I hope."

"Molly and Sirius are looking after the children at Headquarters for those that have to work. I am sure Molly's well, Molly-ness will win them all over soon." She smiled a bit at the image of the motherly witch fussing over the children. She would probably have them fattened up by the end of the day.

"Perhaps I could help," Remus suggested, "Some of them will know me, or at least connect with my situation. They may trust me more quickly, and I could even tutor them a bit."

Tonks felt like cheering. This was the answer to all, well some, of their problems. Remus would be busy with the kids, so he wouldn't feel like he needed to work. The kids would have a mentor and good example. Keira would have an opportunity to socialize with other children. Remus would be at Grimmauld Place to keep Sirius company so he wouldn't drink as much. It was perfect! "I think that is an excellent idea," she said with a broad smile. Soon it was settled that Remus would go to Grimmauld Place with Keira as soon as she woke up and Tonks would come by to pick her up when she was off for lunch. She considered asking him if he would be willing to be her heir, but decided it would be best to ask Keira's opinion first. With a quick peck on the lips, Tonks was off to work feeling more buoyant that she had in months.

**Review please? I miss seeing your feedback in my inbox. Granted it is my fault for not posting, but still. Tell me what you think!**


	16. Best Behavior

**Hello everyone. I have unfortunately contracted severe writers block. There is no cure but to wait it out. The story is in my head, it just won't come out as words if that makes sense. Hopefully I will have a breakthrough over the weekend. The good news is I have a chapter towards the end of the sequel written. It would not go away, so I wrote it down. The bad news is I am not sure I will even do a sequel.**

**I don't own Harry Potter. They all belong to JKR. She has seven, you would think she could share ONE!**

Tonks' good mood lasted for exactly one hour after she arrived at the office. She even considered fishing out her carton of cigarettes she had stashed away in her desk in case emergencies. Just as she was beginning to rummage in her drawers and cabinets, Kingsley's voice called her to attention. "Auror Tonks, my office." To a casual observer, his voice would sound as deep and calm as ever, but Tonks could hear it, the undercurrent of urgency. She rushed to the office, dreading whatever news he could possibly be offering this time. He once again shut the door and cast a silencing charm over it. "I needed to warn you," he said, causing her to freeze, "Umbridge is making a visit. I didn't want it to spring up on you."

Tonks felt a surge of relief. No one was hurt. "Shouldn't she be antagonizing her fellow professors or something?" McGonagall, and even Snape, were extremely vocal about their objections to Dolores Umbrige's regime. _Now you see what I deal with_, she had thought; when she was in a foul mood, her pity was hard to come by.

"She is coming to follow up on her legislation. Don't be surprised if she asks you about Remus and Keira. Try to be on your best behavior."

A surge of hatred rushed through her. Kingsley pulled her into a hug, and patted her head comfortingly. A knock on the door made them jump apart. Tonks pulled open the door, and immediately had the urge to slam it shut again. There, looking just as toad-like as ever, was Dolores Jane Umbridge. "I hope I am not interrupting anything," she said with a girlish giggle and a knowing glance from Tonks to Kingsley. Tonks realized what she thought, what everyone in the office probably thought, and wanted to blush or laugh out loud. Her hair was disheveled, the blinds were closed, the door was locked, and a silencing charm was placed over the room. The whole thing screamed office affair. Tonks played along, encouraging a blush to spread over her face and plastered on a contrite expression. Why ruin a perfectly good cover?

"Madam Undersecretary, to what do we owe the pleasure?"

She huffed importantly and settled into a chair. "I have come to follow up on my latest legislation. I am quite pleased by the response it received in the Auror department. I hear that you each bought two?" they nodded, "Lovely." She pulled two files from her handbag and began to read from them, "Slaves number 007116 and 007132, property of Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks, is that correct?" Tonks gave a jerky nod. "Well, your enthusiastic support of Ministry policy will get you far in this department. Though I must say I do question your taste in bed warmers, and I am sure I am not the only one," she said with a sidelong glance at Kingsley.

Tonks felt her blood boil, but she took a deep breath at Kinglsey's warning look. "Pardon me, Madam Undersecretary, but I don't think I like what you are insinuating. I made my purchase for my home's protection while I am away and housework and the like. He also showed potential as a tutor to hire out. Unlike some, I do not need to _buy_ someone to go to bed with me. On the contrary, they come of their own free will and are often turned down." Umbridge and Kingsley both stared at her with their mouths open. Tonks realized that it was probably a mistake to talk like that; any brownie points she had earned in Umbridge's eyes were surely gone now. Somehow Tonks couldn't bring herself to care.

Umbridge cleared her throat awkwardly, "Well, yes of course. I suppose you do fine on your own with your… talent. I suppose their performance so far is satisfactory. I seem to recall they made quite a scene at the auction."

"They always act as directed. I believe with time and… persuasion they will be more faithful than house elves. I must congratulate the witch or wizard who came up with the spell that is directing them. Out of professional curiosity, is it a form of imperio?"

"It is similar, but stronger because it is combined with a type of crucio. Disobedience causes a burning sensation until the command is followed. Of course, any complaint about the command or pain caused by the curse makes it worse, as I am sure all discovered while in training. I doubt even a trained Auror could throw it off."

"Excellent," Tonks replied tightly, "I suppose I have you to thank for it?"

"For the idea, yes, but a team in the Department of Mysteries worked on the binding spell itself." She gave what she clearly thought was a winning smile, as if she was expecting applause.

"While we are on the topic, I am afraid I may need to take the rest of the day off after work, Kingsley. I have business to sort through. I need to move my slave's money into my account. I am sure you understand. He should support me, don't you think Madame Undersecretary?"

"Surely. It is ministry business of sorts," she said, seemingly not sure what to make of this strange woman. Kingsley gave a nod, indicating that he would make the necessary arrangements. She pushed away from her perch on the desk. "Sadly, I must return to work. I have a lot to do if I want to leave after lunch. It has been lovely seeing you, Madame Undersecretary." With a respectful nod, she left the room in search of her cigarettes before she could commit a murder in the middle of the department of magical law enforcement.

When she returned to her desk, she resumed her rummaging. Finally, she held the little box in her hand. She lit the cigarette with her wand tip and settled down to a stack of paperwork. The familiar burn was comforting. It explained away her watery eyes and gruff voice. "Oi! Snuff it out!" called a short, stuffy man across the hall. She threw him a scathing look and continued about her work.

When she was particularly engrossed in a file, someone came and plucked the cigarette from her fingers. It was Kingsley. "I thought you quit?"

"You don't just quit overnight."

"Isn't the definition of cold turkey stopping all at once?"

She glared at him, "I was either going to smoke a cigarette or commit a murder. Pick your poison."

"It would depend on who you are killing and whether or not we could hide it. There are several people I wouldn't mind setting you loose on."

"You know exactly who I am talking about."

"Yeah, I do. Don't let her get to you. Think of it this way, you won the battle. Now you need to keep your cool so you can win the war. Give me the carton."

She smiled a bit and relinquished her hold on the cigarettes, including the one she was about to light to replace the one stolen by Kingsley. "I'll try to keep that in mind. Thanks."

"Don't forget it. By the way, I cleared your half day with Scrimgeour," he continued in a lower voice, "Have fun and be on your best behavior."

"Now, you know my best behavior isn't all that good."

He didn't answer just rolled his eyes and walked off. At the last moment he turned and called, "See you tonight!" over his shoulder. Tonks smiled, pleased he was going along with the act she had started with Umbridge. They weren't really lying, everyone else jumped to the wrong conclusion and they didn't bother to correct them. The more they were sure that she was involved with Kingsley, the less likely they would think anything of her and Remus. That was exactly how she wanted it.

**Ok, so I know it is not the best, but close your eyes and think of Umbridge's face when Tonks basically tells her she cannot get a guy without duress or coercion. There, that is why I wrote it right there. Please review? A PM is good too if you have a lot to say.**


	17. An Announcement

**AN: I am done with my never-ending stream of assignments (for this week, anyway)! I am getting very excited for the Hunger Games premiere on Thursday, and I have a teeny tiny oneshot in the works for that. Hopefully I will get it out before the midnight premiere. Dear Baby should be updated soon, I just need to decide whether to jump to the happy or give it a couple more entries. Anyway, I even have about 600 words of the next chapter for this written. I'm telling you, I have been super-productive lately!**

**I have written a lot of things in the past couple of weeks, but not a single one of them was a best-seller called **_**Harry Potter Goes to Grad School**_**.**

By the time lunch rolled around, Tonks was ready to sprint for the lift. It is inevitable that the anticipation of an early quitting time makes the day drag. She was busy repeatedly pressing the close button on the lift with no success at making the doors move any faster when Kingsley put his hand in the way of the golden grilles. They stopped to avoid smashing his fingers and he strolled in to lean casually against the wall next to her. "I thought I would join you for lunch. No doubt Molly has pulled together something that will hit the spot nicely."

"Sure. I want you to properly meet Keira anyway. If this goes well, you should come by for dinner. Remember, you did promise to see me tonight." She winked at him and he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, for guard duty! But that sounds fine. Mind if I bring the kids?"

"Why not. Remus and I need to talk to you and hopefully the little ones can occupy themselves while we are discussing matters."

"You're not cooking, are you?"

She elbowed him hard. "For your information, no. Remus decided it was in the best interest of all if he took over cooking at our house. He is over reacting, of course."

"As the subject of your past culinary experiments, I don't think he is."

She slapped him hard on the arm. "You're no Iron Chef yourself."

"A what?"

"Never mind."

The sound of children laughing was the first thing Tonks heard when she entered Grimmauld place. It was a bit unsettling for the grim old house to take on the sound of a daycare. She followed the sound and heard Remus' deep laugh coming from the drawing room as well. She opened the door and found Keira and a couple other girls tying ribbons on Snuffles' neck and tail. They had already painted his toenails and fluffed up his coat. Remus laughed even harder when Keira began to pull the hair between Snuffles' ears into a top knot. The shaggy black dog gave him a look that clearly stated, _I will get you for this_.

Tonks gave a laugh of her own, and Remus raised his head to see her leaning on the doorframe. She crossed the room to perch on the arm of his chair. He pulled her down to his level and pressed his lips to hers. When the kids (and Sirius) began to cry "ewee!" they pulled apart with wicked grins plastered on their faces.

"How was work?" he asked.

She rolled her eyes. "Umbridge came, enough said. I've got the rest of the day off, though."

"You didn't get yourself fired, did you?"

"Why do you assume I got fired?"

"You said you saw Umbridge and that you got time off, so there is really no telling how that situation resolved itself."

"For your information, I was the very image of diplomacy. I convinced her I was her biggest fan. She even backed me up on the half day off. Ask Kingsley, he will tell you it is the truth."

He looked to Kingsley, who had just entered the room questioningly. "I suppose it went something like that," he said with chuckle. Luckily, Molly called them to lunch before they could pursue the topic further.

As they were rising to leave, Tonks turned to Sirius. "You know, I kind of like the pink nail polish, but it clashes with the blue ribbons."

"Shut up," he grunted and began pulling off the remaining bows and vanishing the nail polish. The girls fell into another fit of giggles and everyone else started to laugh again.

Tonks pulled Keira aside when they reached the door. "There is someone I want you to meet," she explained, "This is Kingsley Shacklebolt. He is a friend of Remus and mine and I work with him. He takes care of Ethan and Isabel."

"Hello, Keira. I see you and Isabel were having fun today."

Keira nodded shyly and hid herself partially behind Tonks' leg. "We put ribbons on the puppy," she said with a tiny giggle.

"Well, I thought Snuffles' new look was quite… fetching. If you liked playing with Isabel and Ethan, would you mind if I came over with them tonight?"

She shook her head, but clearly wondered why an adult was asking her permission for something. Tonks could tell she enjoyed it. _Well played, Kingsley_, she thought.

Remus appeared in the door again. "Molly said to hurry; lunch is getting cold." Tonks grabbed hold of his hand and followed him down the stairs. More people had gathered there for the work break. Arthur was sitting next to Molly, Bill and Fleur were sitting next to them, Hestia was talking to Sirius, and Mad-Eye was thumping through the door. Remus and Tonks took their usual seats and Keira found a seat towards the end of the table with the other children. Remus held her hand in his and studied it carefully. "I thought we liked the ring better on your finger?"

"We do. I thought it would be best if I waited to officially pillage your vault before I started to wear your jewelry."

"Fine, I suppose I can wait a few more hours."

Tonks looked at Remus with her eyebrow raised. "Do you think we should tell them now?" she asked, nodding to the room at large.

He smiled at her in return. "They are the ones we most want to tell, and they will have to know sooner rather than later... I suppose now is as good a time as any." She pecked him on the lips and cleared her throat awkwardly. Everyone at the table turned to them in mild interest. "Dora and I have an announcement," Remus began.

"We were discussing our relationship last night and decided..."

"Tonksie! Not in front of the kids!" Sirius admonished.

Tonks glared at him, then continued, "As I was saying, Remus and I have decided that we are going to get married, and the sooner the better."

The looks were back, those pitying looks she hated. Her friends-her family-glanced at her and Remus nervously but seemed to suddenly become interested in everything in the room that wasn't them. Even Sirius was at a loss for words. Finally, Molly said what no one else had the courage to. "You know that is impossible. The Ministry has forbidden it," she reminded her sadly.

"What if I don't give a toss what the Ministry says?" she challenged, "This is between me and Remus, the government has nothing to do with it."

"We are not making a legal agreement, you see," Remus agreed calmly.

"We will perform the binding spell and get married just like people did before the Ministry came along to tell them how to run their lives."

"I spoke with Dumbledore, and he said that there is no way for the Ministry to interfere with it. Unless someone tells, the marriage will be untraceable."

At the mention of Dumbledore, the room seemed to immediately thaw out. "I don't suppose you can stick your middle finger up at them and print a wedding announcement, can you?" Sirius asked.

"As entertaining as that would be, no. I think it is probably one of those times to be a mature adult."

"It is a quiet victory," Remus said. He was right. It may be something only they would know about, but they would win another battle. Better yet, they could live this victory every day.

"Well, that sounds lovely," Molly said, "I am happy for the two of you." Her congratulations were repeated around the table and increased in their enthusiasm as they were repeated. "When are you planning to have the wedding?" Molly inquired. No doubt she was composing a menu in her head already.

"How about a week before Christmas? That will give us a week to prepare and it is well ahead of the full moon."

"Why so sudden?" Molly exclaimed. Clearly her vision could not be fulfilled in one short week.

"Why not? It is going to be really quiet, just the vows and dinner with some of the Order."

"Tonks, what about your parents?"

She felt Remus' hand tighten around her's. She breathed deeply as his thumb stroked her palm in comforting circles. "The further my parents are from the Order, the safer they will be. When the war is over, I will tell them everything, but until then knowledge is dangerous. I don't want them within a stone's throw of anything less than impeccably safe and legal. Unfortunately, our lives will not be safe and legal anywhere in the foreseeable future. I am sure you understand why we don't want to wait with things the way they are."

The two witches exchanged a loaded glance. Molly nodded with a gentle smile, no doubt wrapped up in memories of her own wartime elopement. "Well, we had best get planning, then." With that, Tonks was pulled into an in-depth conversation with Molly and Hestia about cakes and china patterns.

**AN: We're going to have a wedding! So, who's excited? I know I am. Leave a review and tell me what you think!**


	18. In to the Vault

**Hello! I don't have much to say, so I will just get on with the Chapter. If you follow Dear Baby, I have just updated that as well.**

**I wish I owned Harry Potter. Nope. No shooting stars. Darn.**

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes of wedding planning later, Tonks realized that as long as Molly put herself at the helm, her wedding would not get by as a glorified Sunday brunch. No, there would be pomp and circumstance and decisions over minute details like linens and cake fillings. When Arthur, Hestia, and Kingsley left to return to work, Tonks took the opportunity to remind Molly that she and Remus had business to take care of.<p>

"But we haven't even talked about your dress yet!" Molly exclaimed, "We still have so much to go over."

"You make me a list and we can go over it when we get back. I am honestly not too fussed about the details."

"Fine, you run along the then. I will have to be fussed enough for the both of us."

Tonks leapt at this opportunity and seized Remus' waiting hand. With a quick goodbye to Keira and the kids, who had migrated back to the drawing room with Snuffles, they were off.

Once they arrived at Diagon Alley, she wondered why she was so eager to get there. The feeling of skiving off work and announcing the re-engagement had her in the mood to skip down the streets hand in hand with Remus. She had forgotten that was a luxury they did not have. They could not be a blissful, soon-to-be-wed couple. In public they had to play their roles as slave and mistress. She hated this constant reminder and Remus was such a good actor it was scary. He allowed her to stride ahead while he followed a few steps behind head bowed. Whenever they approached a door, he rushed to pull it open while still avoiding eye contact. For her part, she fought to remain brusque and apathetic. She found it helped to pull up parts of the morph she wore for the auction. It made it all seem less real, and Tonks had always considered the right look crucial for any role.

They arrived at Gringotts without a problem, and they joined the shortest queue they could find. The bank wasn't very crowded seeing as work hours were in full swing. Soon they were at the window of a particularly old and nasty-looking goblin. "Yes, Madam?" he croaked.

That threw her for a moment. How could she say why she was here. How does one explain to a bank teller that they are about to legally rob another person blind. She cleared her throat awkwardly. "I have come to combine my slave's vault with mine," she stated in the most imperious tone she could manage.

The goblin leaned over the counter to get a better look at the pair of them. "And do you have the keys?" he inquired indifferently. Apparently the sale of human flesh was not nearly as disturbing to him as it was to her. Bill was right; they were a ruthless race.

Remus, who was still doing a heartbreakingly impressive job of cowering, handed her their keys. "H... here, Mistress," he stuttered. She snatched the keys roughly and placed them on the counter.

"Very well, if you wish to wait a moment, we will transfer all the contents over; unless, of course, you wish for him to do it himself. Several owners have requested for it to be done that way. Demoralizing, you see."

"Sounds like a waste of time. Just move it all over, but keep it somewhat separate. I want to look over all of the new additions."

"Yes, Madame; it will only take a moment. None of these vaults are ever very full." The goblin disappeared from view when he hopped down from his stool.

"Jokes on him," Remus muttered, "Little does he know I was too sentimental to sell much of my parents' furniture or burn it for firewood."

The goblins must have had an efficient system set up, because the little teller appeared from behind a door in the counter within ten minutes. "This way, please," he instructed. He led them to the dark tunnel system where a mine cart awaited them. Tonks hated the cart. The dizzying hairpin turns and racing speeds threw off her already questionable sense of equilibrium. Remus had to think fast to catch her before she tripped while getting out. Keeping up an appearance, she pushed him aside and brushed herself off. "You may leave us alone. We will come out when ready."

"I will be waiting out here, Madam. Knock when you are ready to leave."

It took a moment for Tonks' eyes to adjust it the dim light in the vault. The sound of the heavy door swinging shut made her jump. Remus grabbed her hand with a faraway look in his eyes. "It's okay," she assured him, "We just have to knock and they will let us out."

His breathing slowed to a more normal pace. "I know. I am being stupid."

"No, you're not. This place gives me the creeps, too. Why don't you just show me whatever you want me to see so we can get above ground?"

He brightened considerably at that and began pulling white sheets off the furniture. It was a bedroom and living room set, though the pieces weren't exactly matched. It all had the same antique feel and ornate wood carvings. "My mother was an enthusiastic collector," he explained, "There used to be more but I had to sell off a few of the smaller pieces during the times I couldn't afford to be nostalgic if I wanted to eat. I held on to the biggest pieces though; they were the ones she was most excited about."

"They are beautiful," Tonks breathed, stroking the smooth surface of the wood. It was true that they weren't pieces that she would have chosen for herself, mostly because she wasn't concerned enough with interior decorating to justify how much that type of furniture would cost her. They were perfect for her and Remus together, though. They weren't overly formal, just classic and full of his childhood memories.

"Do you like them?" he asked nervously.

"I love them," she assured him, "Would you mind if we used them when we buy our first house?" She knew that was what he wanted all along, but she wasn't going to rob him of the opportunity to give his gift.

"I would love that. I am only sorry this is all I can contribute to our household. "

"None of that. You are bringing you and that is all I need. I wouldn't care if you didn't have a single Knut or stick of furniture to your name."

"I know that. I just wish I could give you things; nice new things. I suppose that is a bit chauvinistic of me."

"Maybe a little, but I know I would feel the same way in your position. This is really great though, Remus. I love it."

"I am glad. I still have one more thing to show you. Close your eyes." She did as she was told and he led her carefully for a few steps. "Before you open your eyes, I need to tell you a bit about my Mum. She was a muggle born historian with a love of irony."

"I think I got that from Mrs. Lupin's moonstone ring and the name of her son."

"That was just one piece of it, but a good example. This is another. Open your eyes." There was a large wooden trunk pushed against the wall. The sides were covered with a series of carved scenes. "This is her hope chest. It has the legend of Romulus and Remus carved on it."

Tonks leaned closer, and sure enough, there was a she wolf with two babies curled up to her side. "It is amazing."

"Open it," he urged and tapped the lock open.

She lifted the lid and gasped at the contents. There was a tarnished silver jewelry box on top of a stack of folded white fabric. Gently laid to the side was a garment bag and under that was a stack of china. "Go on, open them, too." With shaking hands she lifted the lid of the silver box. Nestled in the blue velvet lining were the matching drop necklace and earrings to her ring. "This was her wedding set. I was going to add the pink gemstones like I did for your engagement ring before the wedding, but I suppose that is out of the question now. It will just have to stay the way it is, that is as long as you want to wear it of course."

Tonks was speechless. She bobbed her head quickly in reply. Remus laughed and kissed her forehead. "Do you want to open the bag next? I will understand if you don't like it, so don't worry about hurting my feelings. You can change it however you like or not wear it at all if you prefer." Her hands slowly pulled down the zipper of the bag. There within was a lace wedding dress. Tears began to well in her eyes. She pulled it out of the bag and held it at arm's length. It was perfect. The lace was pretty without being fussy. The hem fell just below her knees. The sleeveless top had a shallow boat neckline and was fitted until it flared out into an A-line skirt. It was accompanied by a birdcage veil. "I love it," she said honestly, "Thank you. I can't tell you how much this means to me." Her tears began to spill over.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. It is just so right. It's real now; we are getting married."

"We are getting married," he breathed before he crushed his lips against hers.

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><p><strong>Yay fluffy ending! I have a clear picture of how the dress will look in my head, and if I can figure out a way to post a drawing I will sketch it out and share it. If you know how to do this, please PM me!<strong>

**As always, Reviews make me smile!**


	19. Last Will and Testament

**Sorry this took so long! I had an exam, a horrible case of writer's block, and I was sick! I have to admit, this chapter is not my favorite, but it had to be done. We can move on to the fun stuff now. If I write it in time before I leave for a trip to our cabin, I may post a fluffy little RLNT+Teddy Easter oneshot. No guarantees. Anyway, Happy Easter!**

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p>Nymphadora Tonks was not afraid of death, she just wasn't. She supposed if she was, she would have a safe job, safe friends, and a safe hobby. She wasn't particularly eager or even ready to die, but she acknowledged the possibility. What she didn't like was talking about it. It felt like tempting fate. Speak of the devil and all that. No, talking wasn't exactly the problem, because she could joke about it. It was a serious discussion that made her palms sweat. She especially hated talking about legal stuff. That meant thinking about how other people would be after she died. Call her selfish, but she preferred to think the world would keep going as usual. Her loved ones would have a small funeral to laugh about the good times, have a quick toast and say something to the effect of, <em>Bloody typical, falling down in the middle of a duel like that<em> or some other wry comment on whatever idiotic way she had managed to get herself killed. They would then move on with their happy lives. Tonks liked to think that was the way it would go. She didn't want to be forgotten; she just didn't want to be mourned. She thought the concept of mourners a downright depressing business. The idea of dependents was even worse.

That was why the proposition of discussing her last will and testament with a seven-year-old was particularly disturbing. Keira was wise beyond her years, so Tonks was sure she knew what death _was_ but she didn't want to even speak of the possibility of the little girl's life being uprooted again. There was no way out of it. She held Remus' hand for support and called Keira to the living room to begin the dreaded talk. "Would you mind taking a seat?" she asked in a slightly unsteady voice.

Remus squeezed her hand to steady here. "Dora and I just need to talk some things over with you. It's nothing to be scared about." Keira nodded and crawled into Remus' lap. "You remember the evil wizard I told you about and how Dora and I fight him?" The girl nodded and Remus looked to Tonks for her to continue.

"Well, that can be dangerous sometimes and we have to plan ahead to protect the ones we love. I need a plan to keep you and Moony safe in case I... don't make it."

"But I don't want you to die," Keira whined.

"Trust me, I don't want to die either, but my job can be dangerous. I put the very bad guys in jail, and sometimes the good guys get hurt. I promise I will do my very best to not die, but we have to have a plan in case I do. Does that make sense?"

"I guess. What kind of plan is it?"

"I am going to have to sign a piece of paper so you will have somewhere to go. I am asking you because I don't want to send you somewhere you don't want to go."

"I think the best place for us is with our friend, Kingsley." Remus suggested, "You met him today, remember? He has kids your age for you to play with."

"Will you come with me?" she asked innocently. Tonks and Remus exchanged weary glances. They didn't believe in making promises they couldn't keep.

"I will go with you if I am able. Is that okay with you?"

"I guess."

"Well, it is settled, then." Tonks said with a tone of relieved finality, "I will ask Kingsley when he comes over tonight and we will get everything settled at the Ministry tomorrow. Then hopefully we will never need to use it and we can forget we ever had this discussion." She jumped off the couch and turned to help Remus up as well. "We best get dinner on, sweetheart. Kingsley will be here in less than an hour."

Remus and Tonks were cooking- well, Remus was cooking and Tonks was observing- when the doorbell rang. "That'll be Kingsley," Tonks guessed, pulling herself up from the table where she was playing cards with Keira, "I'll get it." She paused to feel the wand in her pocket before answering the door, even if she was pretty sure Death Eaters didn't ring doorbells.

Sure enough, Kingsley was waiting on her doorstep, two children shuffling their feet cautiously behind him. Before Tonks could say a word, he spoke. "My name is Kingsley Shacklebolt, your friend and coworker. We went to our first Order meeting together. You tripped on a troll leg umbrella stand and made us both fall over. Mad-Eye was, shall we say, unimpressed. Then..."

"Okay, okay! Wotcher, Kingsley. Why don't you all come in?" She bent down to the twins' level, "Hello, my name is Tonks. It is very nice to meet you."

"Tonks is a funny name," Isabel blurted before she clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide.

"It is a funny name, isn't it?" Tonks agreed with a laugh, "It is my last name. I bet you wouldn't believe my first name is even funnier! Can you guess what it is?" the little girl shrugged her thin shoulders, looking a bit suspicious but not entirely able to hide her curiosity, "Nymphadora! I bet that is the silliest name you have ever heard!"

The two children stifled giggles. "I think it's pretty," the girl said, "My name is Isabel. This is my brother Ethan. Our names are normal and boring."

This made Tonks laugh. "I think they're lovely. Look at me, taking up all your time! Keira, why don't you come say hello to your guests?" The little girl hopped down from her chair and whisked her new friends away to her room. Tonks felt like patting herself on the back. She had become acquainted with two other children without making them burst into tears. They might even like her.

Kingsley obviously agreed in her assessment. "How did you do that? You just met them and they warmed up to you right away! They still barely talk to me!"

"I exude immaturity, I suppose. I can tell you Keira didn't warm up to me nearly as fast. Remus sticking up for me was what moved things along. I am sure they'll come around."

"I hope so. Dinner is terribly awkward when I am carrying the whole conversation."

"Just give them time," Remus reassured him, "They just need to know you are safe. You won Keira over. That should help your cause."

"I suppose."

"Speaking of Keira, Remus and I have something we need to discuss with you."

"What is it?" he asked, "If it is about play dates, I wholeheartedly agree that—"

"It is about my will," she blurted. Remus' hold on her knee tightened.

A bemused look crossed Kingsley's face. "I'm sorry, your what?"

"My will, you know that little piece of paper that says what I want to happen when I die?"

"Yes, thank you, I know what a will is. I happen to have one of my own. I just don't see what your will has to do with me."

_Maybe this joking about death thing is an Auror thing_, she mused, _Except Remus does it too. Maybe everyone who lives on the verge of disaster does it_. "It concerns you because I need someone to will Keira and Remus to," she said in a more serious tone. Morbid though she may be, she could not joke about passing the surviving members of her family like they were chattel.

The smile immediately fell from Kingsley's face when he turned to Remus with a look of utter disbelief. "Why me?" he asked and Tonks knew the question was not for her.

"You're a friend," Remus said simply. "Also, I don't think Mad-Eye would be much fun to live with," he added as an afterthought.

They all managed a halfhearted chuckle at that. "What does Keira think of this?"

"She said she was fine with it," Remus assured him, "so will you do it?"

"Okay, I will do it. I think we can all agree on one thing. Tonks, you can't die on us."

"I will do my level best," she assured them before getting up to check the casserole. They let her be, knowing that she wanted the discussion to end.

They were able to put their morbid dealings aside and enjoy dinner. Tonks had to appreciate Kingsley's calming presence. He just had a way of making people seem at ease. She suspected it was the natural politician in him. He, Isabel, and Ethan left the couple in a much better frame of mind than they found them. By noon tomorrow, this would all be behind them.

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><p><strong>Sorry the ending is a bit abrupt. I honestly could not think of any better ways to end it. Please review and tell me what you think. Reviewers get the imaginary Easter candy of their choice. I recommend peanut butter eggs.<strong>


	20. Alterations and Cold Feet

**Sorry this update took so long. School is still trying to beat the life out of me. Two more weeks to go, and then I may just go into hibernation for a month. I hope everyone likes this chapter. The next one should be the wedding! That chapter will probably take a bit because I really want to do it right! Any way, this chapter isn't my best, but it is the best I can do with finals breathing down my throat. Enjoy!**

**No, I DO NOT own Harry Potter!**

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><p>"Ouch, Molly!" Tonks squealed, "That was my skin!" She jumped away from the other witch, whose mouth was now full of pins. Unfortunately, this put her off balance and she toppled from the stool Molly had convinced her to stand on for her alterations. Molly pulled the pins from her mouth and helped Tonks up off the floor. "I think all the pins are embedded in my back now."<p>

"Sorry dear. Let's just hope you didn't bleed on the dress."

"Very funny, just help me up." She took the other woman's extended hand and pulled herself to her feet. "Seriously though, I didn't get blood on it, did I?"

"No, it is fine. Get back on the stool so I can finish."

"Maybe I shouldn't. I could just morph myself to fit the dress. That would probably be easier."

"I don't think so. You are not walking down the aisle wearing any body but your own. We will change the dress to fit."

"Could we just use magic?"

"No, it is bad luck," Molly said sternly, "If you take short cuts with the wedding dress it sets you up for a marriage full of shortcuts. Wedding dress alterations should always be done by hand."

Tonks sighed and stepped back on the stool. "You are right. Let's get this done before I fall over again."

"Are you going to make any other alterations to it?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, are you going to do anything to make it your own? Right now it is a bit… not what I imagined for you."

Tonks ruffled her hair, uncomfortably. "I don't know. This dress is sentimental to Remus because it was his mother's. Should I really mess with that?"

"It doesn't have to be permanent. I am sure Remus would want you to make it your own. Every bride should love her wedding dress."

"I do love it… It is just," Tonks hedged. "There are a couple of things I would do to make it more… me."

"Then we will do them. Come here darling," Molly said and pulled the younger witch into a tight hug. "Now let's get this dress to fit first. Then we will worry about the rest."

"Thank you, Molly," she murmured and turned so Molly could attend to the front of the dress.

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><p>"Were you nervous?" Tonks asked Molly when they sat down for tea, "When you married Arthur, I mean."<p>

"A little bit, I suppose. I don't think it can be helped, really," Molly said with a Dumbledore-esque twinkle in her eye.

"I know I shouldn't be worried, but I'm just afraid… what if he changes his mind? What if he decides that it is a bad idea to get married? He was so unsure of it all even before this mess."

"You want to know what I think?" She looked at her with curious eyes. "I think Remus is done running. Now that he has a good, solid, Ministry-approved excuse to stick to you like glue he is not as afraid of tarnishing your image. When he found the loophole that gave him hope. He needs this wedding as much as you do, Tonks."

"Are you sure Molly?"

"I am positive. Have the two of you picked your vows yet?"

"We haven't been able to settle on any yet," she sighed as she ruffled her hair, "The ones that pre-date the ministry are very…old-fashioned."

"In what way?"

"Lots of honoring and obeying on my part, in some of the vows I don't say anything at all except 'I will.' It is just like the slave bond."

"I see," Molly sighed, "I can see where you might…"

"It isn't me, it's Remus," she interrupted, "He says we are not in a contest to see who can make the most binding vows to the other. I don't know. I think it might make us feel more…balanced, maybe?"

"I am sure your mother told you two wrongs don't make a right, so I won't go there," Molly quipped with a stern look in her eye, "But answer me this. Do you like the vows Remus made to you?"

"No, of course not. Whenever I think of them I feel guilty."

"Exactly, do you want Remus to carry that guilt as well?"

"No, I suppose not. I just want to show him I am willing to do all the things for him that he has to do for me."

"He already knows that, dear. You have to let go of your guilt and move on. It is the only way for the two of you to move forward. My advice is this. Find some vows that make you equal partners. It will make you both happier."

"You always know what to say, Molly."

"I have seven children, Tonks. I have had lots of practice, not exactly like this though. Why don't we put that dress up before Remus and Arthur come back? There is only so long Arthur can keep him busy organizing the garden shed."

As soon as she said this, Sirius and Keira ran through the door. "That reminds me. I have an old dress of Ginny's that would work well for Keira. I need to floo over and get it. I'll just put this back in its bag and go find it." She carried the wedding dress with her out of the room.

"I see Molly is enjoying herself," Sirius observed.

"Yeah, she is. She can be a force of nature when it comes to planning something. Oh well, let her have her fun. Lord knows we all need it at a time like this. I think I am even getting into it."

"I never took you for much of a wedding planner."

"Every little girl dreams of her wedding, Sirius," Tonks laughed, "Isn't that so Keira?"

Keira nodded eagerly. "Is Miss Molly going to find me a flower girl dress?"

"I think so. I am sure is will look beautiful on you!"

They continued chattering about wedding plans in this fashion until Molly came back through the floo with a garment bag in hand. Keira squealed in excitement. Molly took her to her bedroom to try on the dress and pin for alterations, leaving Tonks and Sirius alone in the kitchen. "Are you going to make good on your promise?" she asked him once she heard the upstairs bedroom door close.

"What promise would that be?"

"You promised to teach me to be an Animagus," she reminded him.

"So I did," he sighed, pulling a bottle from the cabinet, "Well sit down. You need to close your eyes and take some deep breaths…"

"What? We are doing this now?"

"Why not? Your morphing may make it easier. Okay, deep breaths," she did as he told her, "now empty your mind. Push all human thoughts away. Think about how it will feel to be an animal, purely instinctual. Think about your human form and let it melt away. Open yourself up to a new form. It wants to come, now let it."

"That's it?"

"Did you want help, or not? Just do as I say."

Tonks huffed, but did as he instructed. A few minutes later, she cracked one eye open. "Is anything happening?" she asked.

"I think you went a bit furry. I don't know if that means you were starting to shift or if it was just your normal morphing."

"Ugh!" she cried, dropping her head to the table, "How am I supposed to do this?"

"It'll come in time. It took us months to get it right."

"Months! I don't have months! The next full moon in in three weeks!"

"Be patient!" he cried, "I think I have a book you can read. Just don't let Remus see it or he will know I have been helping you."

"You read?"

"Ha ha. You're so funny. Come help me look for the book. I am pretty sure it is stuck somewhere in my room."

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><p>"Arthur," Remus asked, causing the other man to bump his head on the top of the cabinet he was digging through.<p>

"What, Remus?" he replied, wincing slightly.

"Were you nervous when you married Molly?"

"Utterly terrified," Arthur laughed, "I don't know if you've noticed but Molly can be a bit… formidable. I was so sure I would mess it up somehow. Are the nerves getting to you?"

Remus ran his hands through his hair roughly. "I don't know if 'nerves' is the right term for it."

"Not cold feet, I hope."

"No, no," Remus assured him, "At least, my feet aren't cold. I'm more worried about her. I have less to offer her now than I ever did before. She is taking an even bigger risk by marrying me. How could she possibly choose to go through with this?"

"She loves you," Arthur stated simply, "I don't think there is a force on this Earth that can keep her away."

"I'm not good for her." If truth be told, Remus half hoped she would leave him and marry someone young, someone she didn't have to take care of. It would break his heart, but he could at least pretend to smile and be happy for her. Arthur seemed to read his thoughts.

"I'm sure you know Molly and I aren't exactly well-off. That doesn't keep us from being happy. Twenty-six years and seven kids later and I still love her like I did when we were young and foolish. She could have married a richer man, but I thank my lucky stars that she didn't. There is no one one I would rather be with, not even if it meant being wealthy or powerful, and I like to think she feels the same. We got married at the spur of the moment, but not once have we ever regretted our decision. Believe me, Remus; Tonks is better with you here. If you being taken from her showed you anything, it should have shown you that she needs you in her life. No more talk about anyone leaving. You are getting married in a few days and Molly will kill us both if you are late for your suit alterations. We had best hurry up with this shed."

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><p><strong>So yeah. There it is. Reviews please? They will make me smile and help me not lose it from the stress. Please review. I don't want to lose it.<strong>


	21. I do

**I have finally finished it! The long awaited wedding! Sorry it took so long, but I was not sure exactly how I wanted the vows to be and I really wanted to get it right. Note that I have not been to many weddings, and all the ones I remember well have been Catholic weddings integrated into full masses. I knew I wanted it to have a hand-fasting and I knew I didn't want it to too strongly resemble the average wedding vows or the vows from Bill and Flur's wedding. I hope you all like what I came up with. I did a sketch on how I imagine Tonks' dress, as apparently nothing that closely resembles it even exists. I am posting the link on my profile if anyone is interested. Please note, that this is by no means my best artwork. I drew it quickly when I was sick at home (with an eye infection, so I think that deserves at least a little bit of leniency). Anyway... on with the chapter!**

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p>Tonks stretched when the morning light shined in her eyes. She rolled onto her side and saw Keira curled up on the pillow next to her. That is when it hit her. She was getting married today. She was staying at Grimmauld Place with Keira because Molly told her it was bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding, despite Tonks' protests about nightmares. She and Remus had both been given Dreamless Sleep potion from Molly's stores so that they so they could sleep the night before. "The two of you need to rest up," Sirius had said with a wink.<p>

She crawled out of bed carefully so as not to disturb Keira. She walked to the kitchen in search of Molly. As she suspected, she was scrambling eggs on the stove and frying bacon with her back to the door. She turned when Tonks wished her good morning. "Oh, there is the bride!" she exclaimed and pulled her into a hug, "How are you feeling this morning?"

"I'm a bit nervous, but mostly excited."

"That is just as it should be. Breakfast is almost ready; do try and eat something."

Tonks nodded and rose to get a plate. "Molly?" she asked quietly, checking over her shoulder to make sure they were alone. Molly _humm_ed in response. Tonks took a deep breath. "What if I am no good at it?"

"No good at what dear?" she asked distractedly.

A blush that she could not hide completely spread across her cheeks. "You know… _it_."

A look of realization dawned on Molly's face along with a blush of her own, "Oh. Well… It is a very natural thing. If you let yourself… have a nice time… things will just go as they should. Clearly it is not unpleasant, after all I have seven children," she paused for a moment, "You do know how to be _safe_, don't you?"

"Molly!" she gasped, "I am a twenty-two-year-old woman!"

"Just checking! In your position, a baby may be hard to explain."

Tonks nodded. _That it would_, she thought. Though she was a bit disappointed to be unable to have kids of her own, she knew Remus was terrified by the prospect even before the law. At least they had Keira, even if the circumstances around her arrival in their lives were tragic. Together, they would be a family.

Molly pulled her out of her thoughts. "Why don't you go wake Keira and bring her down to breakfast. We need to get a move on if we are all going to be ready on time. Tonks jumped from her chair to do as she was told, eager to escape from the awkward conversation before Sirius arrived and teased her mercilessly.

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><p>"There," Molly sighed, "It's lovely." She pushed a final pin to secure the pink Christmas roses into Tonks' soft curls, today dark honey blonde with pink tips for the occasion. "Let's get your dress on and then you will be ready."<p>

Tonks stood and slipped off her robe. She grasped Molly's shoulder for balance and stepped into the dress. In a few moments Molly had fastened the last pearl button and guided her toward the mirror. "You look really pretty, Dora," Keira said sweetly, moving to stand by Tonks in the mirror.

"You look very beautiful, too, Keira. That dress looks very nice on you."

"I think yours is prettier," she protested without envy.

Humble though she may be, Tonks had to agree with the little girl's assessment. Molly had done all the alterations perfectly. The bodice hugged her slim figure until it flared out at her hips into an A-line skirt. The bit of her personality came out in the pink petticoat underneath and the pink sash at her waist, but still complemented the elegant lace and form of Mrs. Lupin's dress.

"Do you like it?" Molly asked nervously.

Tonks realized that she had yet to say anything. "I love it, Molly. Thank you. I feel beautiful."

Molly visibly relaxed. "You look beautiful, dear. You always have. It seems like just yesterday that you were playing in the garden will Bill and Charlie, and now you're getting _married_," she teared up into her handkerchief, "Give me a minute. Keira, let's get your dress on so we don't run late."

"Stop pacing! You are going to wear a hole in the floor," Sirius cried as he watched his best friend walk back and forth across the library, hands shoved deeply into his pockets. Remus paused and stared at him pointedly, then continued to pace. "Please sit down, you are making me nervous! I am sure she is not going anywhere. Please, _please_, stop pacing before I actually murder someone."

"Sorry," he cried, "I just wish I could see her. It is hard for me to believe that this is really happening to _me_."

"I always told you that some lucky girl would snag you. Admittedly, I did not think it would be my baby cousin. Molly will probably kill you if you try to see her now. Do you want me to go check on her?" Remus nodded weakly. Sirius patted him on the shoulder bracingly and handed him the Scotch that he had been drinking. "Here, finish this. You need it more than I do."

Sirius knocked on the door down the hall where he knew Tonks was getting ready. "Everyone decent?" he called. Molly opened the door, dabbing her eyes with her handkerchief.

"Oh, Sirius, it's you. How is our groom doing?"

"He is trying to wear a hole in the carpet. He sent me to check on the blushing bride."

Molly opened the door to usher him in. "Tonks dear, you have a visitor."

Tonks looked up from fussing with Keira's dark curls. "Sirius? Aren't you supposed to be with Remus? He hasn't changed his mind, has he?"

Sirius laughed at her worried expression. "He sent me to check on you. I suppose I can go back to him and tell his that he has a beautiful bride waiting for him. Truly, you look… you look great, Tonksie."

"Sirius, are you getting choked up?"

"No, of course not. I am just very, very proud to call you family. Come here." He pulled her into a tight hug. "Love you," he said somewhat self-consciously.

"Ah, Sirius, now you are going to make me cry!"

"Well, I don't want to do that. I best go and assure the groom that his bride isn't going to do a runner."

"Tell him he is not going to get rid of me that easily."

"Ten minutes," Molly warned, "You had best get Remus downstairs and get a hold of Moody."

"Good luck, Dora. Don't trip."

Tonks laughed nervously. "Very funny," she quipped, even though she had convinced Molly she did not want to wear heels for that very reason. Sirius gave a barking laugh and left to go back to Remus.

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><p>"You ready?" Mad-Eye asked gruffly. She stared at the door, her heart pounding an unsteady rhythm. Her mouth suddenly felt very dry, as if it was full of cotton. She had a smart-aleck, witty reply for him, but she couldn't quite remember what it was. She nodded, a smile spreading across her face. "Good. You tell that Lupin that if he hurts you, he's got me to answer to."<p>

"He won't hurt me."

"I know that. Isn't that what a father of the bride is supposed to say? I know I'm not exactly who you wanted for this job, but you are as close as I've got to a daughter, you know."

"Mad-Eye! First Sirius, now you? Everyone is going sentimental on me!"

"How's this? Just because you are getting married does not mean that you get any slack. Constant vigilance! That dress is incredibly impractical for fighting Death Eaters."

"Much better," she said, "Let's do this."

He took her by the arm and opened the door. Tonks drew in a deep breath. It was hard to believe that this was the drawing room of Grimmauld Place. Not a speck of dust remained, and white and pink flowers adorned every available surface. The curtains were pushed back so that the light streamed into the room. It seemed the entire Order was present, the only exception being Prodmore who drew the short straw for guard duty and Snape, who was, well, Snape. When they heard the door open, all eyes turned to Tonks and Moody expectantly. As she made her way down the aisle, her eyes locked with his. She had never seen him happier, and it made him look years younger, as if his life had never been touched by war, loss, or lycanthropy. A warm glow spread throughout her chest, as if his gaze was caressing her. She was proud, because she made him smile that way; no matter how long she lived and what she accomplished, she was sure that she would never be prouder of anything.

Finally, they made it to the front of the aisle and Moody gave her a rather awkward kiss on the cheek after pulling back her veil. "Who gives this woman?" asked Arthur, standing alongside Molly as co-officiate. After reading marriage ceremonies from at least a hundred different sources originating from both patriarchal and matriarchal societies, Tonks and Remus had found the one they had been searching for. It was the tradition in a small village that a long-married couple would welcome the intended couple into marriage by administering the vows. As neither Molly nor Arthur had the Ministry authority that would make the vows official, they were able to perform the ceremony.

"I do," Moody answered as he placed Tonks' hand in Remus'.

"Who stands for this man?" questioned Molly, her broad grin belying her formal tone.

"I do," replied Sirius, patting Remus on the shoulder.

"Will the bride and groom kneel and grasp wand arms?" asked Arthur. As instructed, Remus and Tonks kneeled facing each other and held their right arms out for the other to hold at the elbow.

"Nymphadora and Remus, do you both come here today of your own volition to enter into a willing and equal partnership?" Molly asked.

"We do," they replied, not sparing a glance for the couple guiding their vows. They had eyes only for each other. A gold ribbon of light shot from Molly's wand and wound its way around their interlocked arms.

"Marriage is both a great joy and a great responsibility," stated Arthur, "Do you each swear to uphold this responsibility for all the days of your lives?"

"We do." Another ribbon of golden light joined the first.

"Do you swear to love, honor, and cherish each other in good times and bad, through sickness and health?"

"We do."

"Remus John Lupin, do you take Nymphadora to be you wife?"

"I do," he said fervently, and the gentle look in his eyes made her breath hitch.

"Nymphadora Andromeda Tonks, do you take Remus to be your husband?"

"I do," she said, smiling through happy tears.

"Make your vows to each other and exchange the rings."

Remus accepted the ring from Sirius with his free hand and slipped it halfway on to Tonks' finger. "Nymphadora," he began, "When I met you three years ago, I would not have believed we would be where we are today. Every day I wonder what I did to deserve the love of such a wonderful woman. I never thought I would meet someone who could accept me and all my problems, but you saw through all of it. We have been through a great deal together, and will no doubt have to face even more, but there is no one I would rather have by my side than you. You have brought love, life, and color into my world, where there was none before. Dora, I pledge to you my love and fidelity, as long as I live." He pushed the gold band to its place on her finger.

Tonks sniffed a little and took a ring from Keira, who had been promoted from flower girl to maid of honor. "Remus," she said, "I never thought I would find a man who would make me feel as loved as you do. You never ask me to be anything but what I am. Every day I fall even more in love with you and I truly do not think that I can live without you. You complete me, and yet somehow you think you are the lucky one. I feel like I am the luckiest woman alive so long as I am with you. Remus, I pledge to you my love and fidelity, as long as I live." She moved the ring on his finger and entwined her hand with his.

"We now pronounce you bonded for life. You may now kiss the bride." The wedding guests clapped and Sirius wolf-whistled when Remus leaned down to press his lips to Tonks'. Hagrid could be heard snuffling loudly in the back. The ribbons of light left their hands and grew to envelope their bodies. Gradually, the light faded until it settled in the rings. Remus and Tonks barely noticed because they were still busy placing soft kisses on each other's lips. They did not break apart until Mad-Eye began to cough awkwardly in the front row. The newly-wed couple turned to face the room. A blush spread across their cheeks, but bright smiles did not fade. Arm in arm, they led the way back down the aisle to the basement kitchen where the reception would commence.

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><p>Several hours later, the party was winding down and the remaining guests—Molly, Arthur, Charlie, Bill, Kingsley, Mad-Eye, and Sirius—had gathered around the table. The combination of Molly's rather lavish dinner and Sirius' free-flowing supply of wine had left them feeling lazy. Tonks and Remus were making a start on opening their stack of wedding gifts. So far they had received a few home ware items, but Tonks' favorite so far was a clock similar to the one the Weasleys had to keep track of their family. A close second was an alarm clock that changed color when a birthday or anniversary was approaching. She may be an Auror, but she was also dead forgetful. The last gift Tonks came to was a large envelope. She opened it, thinking it was another card, but was confused when she read the paper.<p>

"Why do I have another copy of this month's guard duty?"

Everyone around then smiled. "It is a revised copy," Molly explained, "Notice who doesn't have any assignments this week."

She took a closer look and sure enough, her and Remus' names had been replaced by the names of other members. "You shouldn't have," Remus began to protest, but they all raised all waved away their objections.

"We wanted to. The two of you deserve some _alone time_," Charlie insisted with waggling brows, "Which brings me to the gift from me and all the Weasley clan."

He handed them a small package. Tonks apprehensively removed the wrapping paper. After all, Fred and George had to have learned their sense of humor somewhere, and she knew from experience her old friend was a likely candidate. Encouraging looks from Molly and Arthur reassured her. She opened the box to reveal... a key. She and Remus exchanged bemused looks that did not pass beneath Arthur's notice.

"It is for our aunt's vacation home on the outskirts of Tinworth. Shell cottage is yours for the week. The beach isn't exactly a tropical paradise this time of year, but it is quite beautiful," Arthur explained.

"I doubt the two of you will be doing many outdoor activities, anyway," Bill added with a suggestive wink.

Tonks blushed furiously, bit grinned all the same. "Thank you," she said as she pulled the Weasleys in for a hug. Remus thanked them as well, for once foregoing his formal handshake to hug them.

"It is getting pretty late," Sirius hinted, "The two of you may want to get going. Molly and I can watch Keira for the week. I don't think she would be too pleased if you moved her now anyway." He gestured to the little girl who was now fast asleep on Sirius' chest.

Tonks nestled in under her new husband's arm and beamed at everyone who had gathered to share this lovely evening with them. "Thank you so much, everyone. I can't say how much this all means to me. I am so thankful to have this wonderful wedding with a wonderful family, not to mention a wonderful groom."

"And I have the most wonderful bride a man could have," Remus finished. He pulled her in for a kiss as the guests cheered and showered them with rice. With some effort, he managed to hoist her in his arms bridal style and carry her out the door to apparate to the cottage.

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><p><strong>Reviews are love!<strong>


	22. The Radiant Bride

**Yay they are married! I decided to attempt to write a bit of honeymoon fluff, but nothing explicit, I assure you. I felt awkward writing even this much. Yes, I am a lightweight. I hope this came out well!**

**I am going to repeat the quick blurb I made in the AN of Dear Baby. There will be a Quidditch event at the Olympics in London this year, so please support you national team, whatever that may be. I know for certain that on team USA all players have to pay their own way. I'm sure any support you can give them will be much appreciated!**

**On with the story...**

**I do not own Harry Potter. There. I said it. Happy?**

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><p>Remus did his best to open the cottage door without breaking the kiss or putting Tonks down. After a few minutes of fumbling, he succeeded in making it inside. "Remus," Tonks murmured against his lips, "We are over the threshold. You can put me down now." He set her on her feet with a sigh. "Are you okay? Carrying me didn't hurt you, did it?"<p>

He silenced her with a peck on the lips. "Stop worrying. I promise I have never felt better than I do right now."

"Me neither," she smiled and leaned in to resume the kiss.

This kiss was different than any other kiss they had shared. His kisses were soft and slow like always, but she could feel his eagerness in the way his lips met hers. He picked her up once more, and Tonks wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, their lips still locked together. He carried her up the stairs this way, his steps never faltering. "How do you know where the bedroom is?" she asked breathlessly.

"I don't," he laughed huskily and began opening the first door he came to with the hand that wasn't holding her close. Luckily, the room was, in fact, a bed room. He gently sat her down on the edge of the bed, but Tonks wasn't ready to let go yet. Her legs remained wound around him and she rested her chin on his shoulder. He shivered pleasantly at the feeling of her warm breath on his neck. Her fingers played with the top buttons of his shirt.

"These clothes aren't going to take themselves off, you know," she said cheekily with a kiss behind his ear.

"I think I am going to have quite a bit of trouble undressing you if we stay like this," Remus pointed out.

She unwrapped herself and sat back on the bed. "Better?" she smirked.

"Much," he answered, "You look so lovely." He kissed her on the collarbone, and then her knee before trailing his hands down to her ankle to remove her shoe. He laughed when he saw that her toes had curled. When he took off the second shoe, a small silver coin rattled to the floor. "Well, there goes the sixpence," he said, "Your dress, your ring, and your groom are old; I'm guessing that the frilly pink thing is new, so that leaves something borrowed and something blue."

She smiled mischievously. "You are not old! I borrowed the bracelet from Molly. You will find out what is blue in just a minute. I will give you a hint. You will have to look up my left leg to find it." His hands travelled back up her leg. She felt him pull down the garter on her thigh. "There, you found it," she congratulated him.

"Weren't we supposed to throw this at the reception?"

Tonks raised her eyebrow. "Who were you going to throw it to, my mentor, my coworker, my two best mates, their father, or my cousin? I know! You should have shot it at Dumbledore!"

"Point taken," he smiled, "You are right."

She stood to kiss him on the lips again. "You should know by now, I usually am. Want to unbutton the dress now?" She turned around for him and waited not so patiently for him to unfasten the line of pearl buttons. By the time he had finished, she had removed her veil and jewelry, with the exception of the rings. When the last button was released, Remus eased the dress and petticoat off of her to fall to the ground and pressed his lips to her bare shoulder. Tonks felt a thrill of nervousness jolt through her, but she pushed it down. "My turn," she whispered, turning back to face him. She walked them backwards until they toppled on to the bed. She giggled a little at his expression after the sudden fall, but then began work on his shirt buttons. When his shirt lay open, she froze.

"Dora, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"Your chest… You've not healed," she whispered, staring at the angry red marks and fading bruises that covered his chest and stomach. She hadn't seen them since they were with Madam Pomfrey. He had insisted on taking over his own healing regimen. "You should have said something. We could have waited for you to heal; we still can. I don't want you to hurt."

He cupped her face in his hand. "I promise I am not hurting. For tonight, let's put all of that out of our minds. I'll not have them take this moment away from us. Can you do that for me?"

She nodded. "I will, but only if you promise to say something if don't feel well enough."

"I promise," he assured her and then pulled her in to continue where they left off.

The next morning, Dora woke with the sun streaming through the window and the sound of waves crashing on the rocks. She looked at her husband's face as he slept. He looked so peaceful. His arm pulled her closer unconsciously. She sighed in contentment and snuggled in closer to his warm body. There was only one word she could think of to describe this moment and her memories of last night: bliss.

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><p><strong>.<strong>

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**So, does this warm your heart or make you want to vomit? Please let me know in a review, or PM me if you prefer. I 3 feedback!**


	23. The Honeymoon is Over

**Well, this update took longer than I planned, but the update is longer, so i kind of balances itself out, right? I am on vacation, so sue me. I would have done this last night, but our power went out and my mother fell down some stairs. Don't worry, she is fine. Actually, don't. I don't have any money so we would both just end up disappointed. I hope this is good. Please review. I am like a little child that needs constant encouragement. Not really, but reviews would be nice.**

**I still don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p>It was three days into their honeymoon when the he silver lynx materialized at the foot of the bed. Tonks pulled the covers up self-consciously, even though she knew the patronus couldn't see anything. "There has been an emergency," the lynx said with Kingsley's voice, "You both need to come home immediately. Don't worry about packing."<p>

Tonks and Remus stared at the spot where the patronus was fading away for a moment, then sprang into action. They pulled on the clothes they had discarded on the floor and raced toward the edges of the apparation wards while doing up buttons and zips. When they crossed the boundary line, Tonks seized Remus' hand and focused on the park across the street from Grimmauld Place.

They landed heavily on the ground and darted forward hand in hand without pause. Kingsley was waiting for them in the entryway. "Tonks," Kingsley said briskly, "You're with me. We need to get to the Ministry. There has been an attack."

Tonks looked at Remus anxiously. "There is no time to waste. It's Arthur. I will explain what I know later. Remus, you should take Keira and bring her to my place. I had no choice but to leave the kids alone," Kingsley urged him.

"You should do as he says, sweetheart. I will meet you there." She kissed Remus quickly on the cheek. He caught her by the hand as she turned away.

"Be careful," he admonished.

"Always am," she smiled, "Love you." With that she was gone and Remus was left staring at the slightly open front door where she had just left to face an unknown danger. He decided he did not like being the one left at home when there was a mission on, especially if Dora was on it.

"Kingsley! Tell me what is going on!" Tonks panted as she jogged to keep up with her partner's lengthy strides after apparating to an ally close to the Ministry.

"Arthur was attacked by Voldemort's snake tonight when he was on guard duty,"

"He's not..."

He shook his head and Tonks breathed a sigh of relief. "No, he is alive. I haven't seen him yet, but I heard he is bad off. He would probably be dead if it wasn't for Harry."

"Harry? What has he got to do with it?"

"He is the one that told Dumbledore about it. They said he saw it all happen in his head."

"Like a vision?"

"Something like that. You and I are going to the Ministry to see if there is any sign of the snake. We need to get there and out before the team sent by the Ministry arrives."

"What about Arthur? Sturgis got thrown in Azkaban for being down there. They won't arrest Arthur, will they?"

"I don't think so. Dumbledore made sure he was found by the right people and is creating a cover story. Right now all we can do is try to find the snake."

Together, they entered the Ministry. The cold emptiness of it sent a chill down Tonks' spine. No matter how many times she came for guard duty, she could not get used to seeing the Ministry without its bustle of people. She knew the DMLE was probably the only department that had anyone here at all. They were probably there now, awaiting backup from the Department for the Control of Magical Creatures. Tonks hoped they took their time.

She and Kingsley rode the lift to the old courtrooms and the Department of Mysteries. A half hour of searching yielded only a pool of blood where Arthur had been attacked. Tonks' stomach churned. It was a lot of blood. Arthur was not out of the woods by any means yet. They heard voices coming down the hall and rushed to fit themselves under the invisibility cloak. Tonks morphed herself to be shorter and slimmer, and then crawled onto Kingsley's back. He was so tall that he needed all of the cloak's length and tripping now could be disastrous. They both held their breath as Kingsley crept up the stairs to the next level, where they caught the lift to the Atrium and hurried out the floo before they could be noticed. They landed in Kingsley's sitting room with a clatter. Having Tonks perched on his back made Kingsley top heavy, and he had to stagger to keep his balance.

"Tonks," he said, "I think your clumsiness is catching." Tonks rolled her eyes at him and jumped of his back. She morphed to her normal size.

Remus heard them and came with his wand in hand. "Where did Dora and I meet and what did she ask me?"

"We met at the Hog's Head and I asked you if you knew where I could find Remus Lupin. You told me I should check at the castle because you had just gotten a job there. Just as I was leaving you told who you were and I pretended to be upset."

He needed no further proof. He pulled her into a tight embrace. "I was so worried, Dora. What happened? Is everyone safe?"

"Arthur is badly injured in St. Mungo's. Kingsley and I don't know any more than that. Harry saw it happen, Remus. He saw it in his head. Do you think he could be a seer?"

Remus shook his head. "I don't know but I doubt it. Neither James nor Lily put much store in divination or had much of a talent in it. I don't know of any Potters that were known seers, so unless Lily had an unknown magical prophet for an ancestor, it is unlikely."

"Unlikely, but still possible," Tonks replied stubbornly.

"Dumbledore said he saw it in a dream; he wouldn't say more than that. Harry and the Weasleys are going to Grimmauld Place tonight to be closer to Arthur," Kingsley informed them. "Remus, what did you tell the kids?" he asked.

"I just told them that Dora and I had to come home early because the two of you had to do a bit of Order work. They are asleep now."

Tonks looked down at her watch. "It's two in the morning. I can't say I blame them." She suddenly realized how tired she was and yawned hugely.

"Is there anything else we can do tonight?" Remus asked. Kingsley shook his head in reply. "Dora, why don't you take Keira home and get to bed. I will get the luggage from Shell Cottage and meet you there."

She shook her head. "You don't have to do that. I can help."

"Dora, you are tired. It won't take me more than a few minutes. Keira has been asking for you, anyway."

"Okay," she relented, "I will meet you at home."

He pecked her on the lips and told Kingsley goodbye before he left to apparate. Tonks went to the guest room in search for the little girl, leaving Kingsley to brew himself some tea in peace. She crept into the quiet room and lightly shook Keira awake. She opened her heavy eyelids. "Dora?" she asked groggily.

"Did you miss me sweetie? I have only been gone a few days."

"Still missed you," she said.

"I missed you too. You would like Shell Cottage if we went during the summer. It is right on the beach. Are you ready to go home?" Keira only nodded in reply. "Okay, up you get."

Tonks lifted Keira from the bed carefully so as not to wake Isabel, who was sleeping heavily beside her. Keira was asleep on Tonks' shoulder by the time she made it to the kitchen. "Goodnight, Kingsley," she whispered so as not to wake the girl sleeping in her arms, "I am going home. Tell me if you hear anything more on Arthur, will you?"

"I will. I'm sorry about this Tonks. I know this was supposed to be a week for you and Remus."

"It's not your fault, it's Voldemort's. Don't worry about it. We got a nice, quiet three days to ourselves. That's more than we could have hoped for a few weeks ago. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight," he called after her.

She apparated home and immediately put Keira to bed. Keira was already in her pajamas, so Tonks did not have to change her clothes. She kissed her gently on the forehead and whispered, "Sweet dreams, darling. I love you."

It was the truth, not meaningless comfort. The little girl had not so much wormed her way into Tonks' heart as she had blasted her way in. She had only known her for a short time, but she already felt like family. The little girl blindsided her with unfamiliar, warm, _maternal _feelings. It made her think of the woman out there somewhere worried sick about her daughter. She didn't know her baby was sleeping peacefully and was cared for. The guilt hit her once more. Tonks was closing the door when she heard a little voice say, "Love you, too."

Her eyes were watering when she made it to the kitchen. Keira _loved_ her, or at least she said she did. It was bittersweet because Tonks knew that, with any luck, she was only a temporary stop for Keira. One day she would go home to her real mother and Tonks and Remus would be left childless.

She began shuffling through a stack of papers on the kitchen counter for something to do. It seemed like it was mostly neglected paperwork, so she took it to her bedroom to work on so she could pass away the time until Remus got home.

Tonks sat cross-legged on the bed and began passing through the papers. A few only needed a cursory once-over and a signature, so she moved quickly. A few pages in, a blank sheet of paper caught her notice. She was puzzled as to why it was there, but would have passed over it if not for the nagging feeling in her gut that the paper held some importance. She drew her wand and glanced quickly around the room even though she knew she was alone.

She pointed her wand at the blank page and murmured, "Revealio."

Ink bled through the paper to form words written in a table, no, a calendar. It was the original guard duty schedule. She knew it was the old copy because her name was written several times that week, but had been erased from the most recent copy to give her and Remus their honeymoon. Her finger ran across the week and stopped on December 18th—last night's date. Her name was written on the square in her handwriting. She was supposed to be on guard duty instead of Arthur.

She was lying in bed listlessly when Remus came home. He came in and changed quietly, thinking she was asleep. He crawled into bed and leaned over to kiss her on the cheek. She opened her eyes at his touch. He smiled at her. "I didn't know you were still awake, thought you had fallen asleep with your paperwork in your lap." His smile straightened out to a thin line when he looked at her face. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"It should have been me, Remus. I should have been the one on duty tonight."

He pulled her closer. "That's not your fault, no more than it is mine. Do you think it is my fault?"

"No, but…"

"Then it is not your fault," he interrupted.

"How am I going to face Molly tomorrow?" she sighed.

"She won't blame you, either. You'll see," he assured her, "Oh, and we just got word that Arthur is stable and he will make a full recovery. Molly and the kids are going to see him tomorrow. They need an escort if you want to go."

"That's wonderful!" she smiled, "Yes. Yes, I will go." She kissed him softly then put her head on the pillow and curled into his side. "Thanks, Remus."

"For what?"

"For being you. You always knowing what to say."

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><p><strong>Pleeeaaaseee Review? Just look at that cute little button at the bottom of the page. How can you resist?<strong>


	24. St Mungo's

**Sorry for the delay... this took much longer than I thought it would. Sorry for that! I hope you enjoy it, anyway.** **Please review.**

**I don't own Harry Potter. Several lines are from OotP chapter 22. I don't own anything you recognize. It all belongs to the lovely J.K. Rowling.**

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><p>The following morning, Tonks and Remus woke to Keira bouncing at the end of their bed. Tonks groggily opened one eye and sat up on the pillows. "Are you awake?" Keira asked.<p>

"Am now," Tonks yawned, rubbing her eyes, "What time is it?"

"It's past noon," she said with a huff, "I thought you two were never going to get up!"

"When you get old, Keira," Remus muttered, "You need your beauty sleep." He buried his head in the covers as if to prove his point.

Tonks smacked him lightly on the shoulder. "Speak for yourself."

"I was."

"You're not _old_, Moony," Keira laughed.

Tonks scooted herself over and patted the space between her and Remus. Keira obligingly squeezed herself in between them. "So what has you up so early?"

"It's not early; it's afternoon," Remus corrected, his voice muffled by the duvet.

"It's early if you were up until four in the morning," Tonks argued, "So what was it?"

"An owl crashed into my window," she said like it was an everyday occurance, "He had a letter with him. Dora what happened last night?"

The events of the night before—early morning really—hit her in full force. The guilt and worry were sharper now that the adrenaline had faded, but relief drowned out all of her negative feelings. Arthur would be okay, and that was all that mattered. She felt lighter than she had before she went to bed the previous evening. "Moony and I will explain it all later, promise. Where is that letter?"

Keira handed her the envelope. It was from Mad-Eye; she could tell from the handwriting and the vast amount of charms that kept anyone but her from opening it or reading its contents. Upon opening it the way he had taught her, she found only the word _one_ scrawled in his messy hand writing. So, she was to meet him at one. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. It was already a quarter past noon.

"Shi—I mean shoot!" she cried, leaping from the bed, "I'm going to be so late!" Remus only grumbled in response and pulled the covers she had upset in her quick exit back over his head.

Luckily, it did not take Tonks long to throw together a suitably mismatched and stylishly rugged ensemble. Her morphing made hair and make-up a nonissue, so she spared only a glance in the mirror to make sure it looked right before she Apparated to the park across the street from Grimmauld Place with fifteen minutes to spare. Moody was already waiting.

"Wotcher, Mad-Eye," she greeted as she approached him. He merely grunted in response. His magical eye roved the park for security threats while his normal one remained fixed on the door of headquarters. Briefly, the magical eye darted to take in her appearance.

"Pink hair, Nymphadora? Really?" he growled, "Are you trying to draw attention to yourself?"

"No one will spare a glance for me in the underground. You on the other hand… is that a bowler hat? That cannot be the best you can do."

They were still arguing over what constituted proper attire for blending in with muggles when Molly and the kids appeared on the doorstep of 12 Grimmauld Place. Mad-Eye immediately marched the group to the nearest underground station, where Tonks' theory that pink hair would be perfectly acceptable was proved correct, much to Moody's chagrin.

She was unusually meek when she walked beside Molly on the way to the station. "I'm sorry about what happened to Arthur, Molly," she said quietly, "I know it should have been…"

"There is no 'should have been,' dear," she reassured her, "We had no way of knowing this would happen. I'm sure Arthur would not go back and change it if he could. The two of you are like family. We watched you grow up alongside Bill and Charlie, you know. It's… it's war," she said a bit tearfully, "If this is the worst thing that happens to our family, we will be lucky."

"Molly, I…"

"No more of this now," Molly interrupted, "Ginny has been eager to catch up with you and I don't want her to hear us talking like this." Sure enough, Ginny was making her way toward them. Tonks thought Molly was naïve in thinking that she could protect her children from the fear and uncertainty war entailed, but she understood why she did it more and more every day she spent with Keira. She let the subject drop and Molly drifted away to keep a close eye on Fred and George.

"Hi, Tonks!" she greeted brightly.

"Wotcher, Ginny," she answered.

"So… how are you and Professor Lupin?" she propted, "Mum hasn't told me anything since I asked if he was okay after the law passed."

"You know about that? I thought we asked Hermione not to say anything. We thought she was the only one who actually read past the first page of the _Prophet_."

"I was with her when she found out, about a half second before the letter came. The boys don't know anything. You are right, they will just get into more trouble with Umbridge if they knew what she did. I don't want them to be expelled even if that cow deserves anything they do to her," Ginny said darkly. Tonks suspected Hermione had to hold her back from taking matters into her own hands.

"So they don't suspect anything?"

"No. Malfoy said something about a dog," she said with her mouth twisted in distaste, "but they assumed that he meant Sirius' animagus form."

"Well, that is good at least."

"So, what about you? Are you and Lupin still…?"

"We got married," Tonks said with a smile.

"Really? That's great!" Ginny cried, "Way to get one over on the old toad!"

Tonks shushed her. "No one can know, outside of the Order. If anyone was to find out, Keira would be taken away and Remus and I would be tossed in Azkaban." Her stomach twisted painfully at the thought.

"That's a bit harsh," Ginny muttered, "Wait, who's Keira?"

"She is a girl that formed an attachment to Remus while he was with the pack. She's living with us now. She's absolutely adorable. That girl's got me much more attached to her than I intended to be, and she seems to like me more than I would have thought possible," Tonks confessed.

"I leave you for a few months and when I come back you are a wife and a Mum. You could have at least written to me," Ginny laughed.

"I wish I could have," Tonks smiled, "You know they are reading all the mail."

"Okay. I forgive you, I guess, but I demand to meet the new addition to the family."

Tonks and Ginny continued to chatter in this fashion, ignoring the occasional glare from Mad-Eye, until they reached the underground station. Here Tonks broke away from Ginny and joined Harry. She knew Remus would be worried about him, so she decided to check up on him and see what he thought of the incident. She started asking him about it when they sat down on the train away from the others, but he seemed just as confused about it as everyone else was. He seemed almost fearful. When she brought up the possibility of him being a Seer, he looked insulted. Tonks suspected Trelawney's lack of expertise had something to do with it.

"I suppose it's not really prophecy you're doing, is it?" she reassured him, "I mean, you're not seeing the future, you're seeing the present… It's odd, isn't it? Useful, though..."

Harry did not respond, and Tonks realized that he was not going to be much more informative. She had the feeling that she was being prying and impolite by trying to continue, so she stopped. Usually she wouldn't care all that much, but Harry seemed very upset by it all. They made strained polite conversation until they reached their stop, where Harry separated himself from her in the crowd of Weasleys and struck up a conversation with Mad-Eye. Tonks was only slightly insulted that Harry found the grizzly old man a better companion than her, but put it down to her lack of tact.

Tonks was much too familiar with their destination: St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injures. She had passed through the dirty glass display window many times—in various states on consciousness—so it felt perfectly normal to explain their situation to the decrepit mannequin propped up in the window sporting a severely outdated nylon dress. She led the group to the front desk for directions, though she probably didn't need them.

Soon, they were outside Arthur's door. Harry and the Weaslys went in to visit Arthur, but Moody and Tonks stayed outside to give the family a moment. Moody began to thump down the hall. "Where're you going?" Tonks called after him.

"Checkin' up on someone," he growled, "Come along if you like."

She ran after him to catch up, much to a passing healer's disapproval. "Who are we going to see?" she panted after they had navigated several flights of stairs. She did not see how the old man did it, and did it with a peg leg no less. She needed to work out more.

"You'll see when we get there. It's probably good for you see them."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean you're too naïve. You'll see when we get there. Stop asking questions."

They were entering an unfamiliar corridor. An area of the hospital that Tonks was not familiar with was a rarity. She mentally went through the list of the wards she had been in, and which ones she had not. This ward was much less busy than the others with only a few healers milling about, but Tonks could hear distant mutters and crying. She did a quick double take. She could have sworn she saw Guildory Lockheart smiling out of a window they passed.

She stopped short when Moody took a sharp turn into a door. She finished shuffling through her list a half second before she walked in the room. They were in the mental ward. For a moment she thought Mad-Eye must have taken a wrong turn, but he did not pause in his path toward a corner of the room curtained off from the rest. She followed after him through the curtain.

There were two beds in the makeshift room, occupied by a withered-looking man and woman. They both had white hair and vacant expressions. Tonks thought they looked much too young to have gone grey already. Moreover, she still could not understand why Mad-Eye had taken her there.

"Frank, Alice," Moody greeted. Tonks understood. This was Frank and Alice Longbottom, the Aurors tortured into insanity just after the fall of Voldemort. They were Remus' age, but they looked ancient in comparison. They bore no resemblance to the cheerful couple she had seen in pictures. She shifted uneasily. Moody turned to the healer. "Any change?" he asked as if more out of habit than expectation.

"No change," she answered softly, "but we are always hopeful. I will come back to finish up later." Tonks thought that the healer, too, sounded as if she were reading from a script. Tonks highly doubted that either of them was expecting a miraculous recovery after fourteen years. It was just something that they said to make it not seem as bleak.

Moody was talking to the couple, so Tonks thought it was best to listen. "…And I brought my last Auror protégé. Her name is Nymphadora. Say hello, Nymphadora."

"Wotcher," she said weakly, "You can call me Tonks." They only smiled in response vaguely, and Tonks instantly felt like an idiot. _Of course they don't talk_.

"Yep, that's my last one. She can be a pain most of the time, but she's the only one I've seen since the two of you that was worth my effort. She was a Hufflepuff like you, Alice.

Anyway, I have a bit of news about your son, Neville, that I thought you would like to hear. He's doing you proud, Frank. Joined a defense group against the orders of the Umbridge cow. The kids told me he made a patronus yesterday…"

Moody continued to talk to them, even though neither Frank nor Alice made any response or showed any sign of understanding. Tonks watched in silence unless Moody prompted her to offer input. He lost some of his gruffness speaking to them. It wasn't long, though it seemed that way to Tonks, before Moody rose from his chair and said his goodbyes. Tonks waved goodbye as well and followed him out the door. "Not all casualties die," he said without even looking at her as they walked back to Arthur's room, "What happened to them was much worse." They walked in silence to rejoin the Weasleys, though their original purpose seemed so distant now.

When they returned to Arthur's room, the kids were kicked out so that they could get Arthur up to date on what had happened since the attack. She tried to act like nothing happened for the Weasleys, but she was deeply shaken.

Talk turned to Harry and she paid closer attention; Remus would want to hear this.

"You know, Dumbledore seems to almost have been waiting for Harry to see something like this…"

_And he didn't tell anyone,_ Tonks thought bitterly, _What a shocker. Probably figuring out a way to exploit it._ She decided it was better to keep her mouth shut for once and kept her opinions to herself.

"Yeah, well, there's something funny about the Potter kid, we all know that." Tonks was offended on Harry's behalf, being no stranger to have something funny about herself. Still, Tonks had to admit that what happened with Harry was even stranger than morphing or deranged relatives.

"Dumbledore seemed to be worried about Harry when I spoke to him this morning," Molly whispered worriedly.

"'Course he's worried. The boy's seeing things from inside You-Know-Who's snake…Obviously, Potter doesn't realize what that means, but if You-Know-Who is possessing him, it's only going to get worse."

Tonks finally interrupted here. "This doesn't look like possession, Mad-Eye, and you know it. He remembers what he saw. Why would You-Know-Who want to show him what he was doing just for Harry to stop it. It doesn't make any sense."

"You may be right," Moody conceded, "but that doesn't get us any closer to figuring out what is wrong with him. I think Dumbledore knows more that he is letting on."

"I know he does, but that is not anything new." Mad-Eye only snorted in response.

Having exhausted their list of news topics, they bid good-bye to Arthur. After they escorted the Weasleys and Harry to headquarters, Tonks and Moody left and began to walk to the apparation point in the alley down the block.

"What's going on in that head of yours," Mad-Eye asked, "Why aren't you talking my ear off?"

"Thinking…" she said softly, "About Frank and Alice, mostly."

"And what do you think?"

"I don't know what to think, really. It is too horrible to make sense of."

"Does it scare you?"

She thought it over a moment. "It scares me that it could happen to me and my loved ones would have to deal with it. It scares me that it could happen to a loved one and I wouldn't be able to cope with being powerless. It does not scare me away."

"Good," Mad-Eye said abruptly, "You should be scared enough to keep you safe. Helps keep perspective. That's how you separate someone who's brave from someone who's foolish. I am proud to say that, in this instance at least, you are the former."

She smiled at her mentor and nudged him with her elbow. He waved her off, but couldn't hide the (very) slight grin on his face. She never told him that in that very instant, she swore to herself that she would never be taken alive.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it. Please review to let me know!<strong>


	25. That Time of the Month

**I am so so so so so sorry for the time it took to update this. Life just got very stressful with moving to study abroad. I'm settled in, but any thoughts and prayers for me would be appreciated! On that note, I am having so much fun! With all my required reading I won't have loads of free time, but hopefully I won't have any unannounced hiatuses. I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you for sticking with me!  
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**Also, thank you to anyone who has reviewed but not gotten a personal response from me. I am so hopelessly behind on answering them that I don't even know who I need to write to! I think I will just have to start fresh with any reviews that come in for this chapter. As always, I am eager to hear questions, comments, advice, or critiques on anything I write, so please review! I _will_ answer this time!**

**I don't own Harry Potter. I also don't own Casual Vacancy that will come out on Thursday. I am, however, so excited to read it!**

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><p>Tonks jogged up the flight of stairs to her flat and pounded on the front door. She was ready to be home with Remus and Keira and distance herself from the office. Moody's reality check had given her a new outlook. In her opinion, she did not need Mad-Eye showing her Frank and Alice to know that real life was not a fairy tale, but it did give her perspective. No day could be taken for granted, even if it was a "bad" day. She and Remus had more than their share of problems, but it could be much, much worse. At least they still had each other.<p>

Remus opened the door with a tired smile. "Dora," he greeted, "You're home! Oh, um… security question. What morph do I prefer on you?"

"Trick question," she answered promptly, "You always say you don't have a favorite."

"That's because I don't," he said, leaning in to kiss her on the lips. She smiled brightly and moved closer to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away. Before she could protest, he interrupted, "You should probably know before we continue that our place has been nominated as the Order daycare until after Hogwarts resumes classes and that we have about ten observant children in our sitting room right now."

Tonks peeked past him into the sitting room. The floor was cluttered with books and toys. Tonks stumbled over them a few times on her way to the couch followed by Remus, who slouched into the cushions in exhaustion. The kids looked tired and pretty miserable, too. The upcoming full moon had them all feeling ill.

"Hello," Tonks greeted cheerily, "This is a lovely surprise! You lot look like you're ready for a nap."

"Kingsley and Hestia should be here before too long, so it is a bit late for a nap," Remus answered with a distinct tone of regret, "It is, however, just in time for Wolfsbane. Severus sent over enough for all of the kids so I could explain what the potion does and we could help them with the first dose."

"I'm glad they have you, Remus," Tonks said, "I'll go grab the potion while you tell them a bit about it. Where did Snape put it?"

"There is a box on the kitchen counter by the door. He said that is all that we need."

Tonks moved the box to the coffee table carefully so as not to drop it. She sorted the bottles into the groups of the three required doses. She counted the sets. Thirteen. She counted the gathering in the sitting room. Fourteen. Her heart stopped momentarily, but then her blood began to boil.

"Remus," she said tightly, "I would like to see you for a moment in the kitchen please."

He looked up at her with a bemused expression, but rose to see her anyway. "I don't suppose you called me over here to snog some more?"

Tonks shook her head, too angry to join in Remus' joke. "Severus shorted us on wolfsbane," she hissed.

Remus instantly paled. "I'll… I have to get away for the full moon. You and Keira won't be safe if I am out of control."

"No, you won't," she argued, "Because I am going to Hogwarts to shake the other dose out of that snake."

"Dora, be reasonable. There is no time for him to make a new dose. Either it is there or it isn't. I don't want you to go over there and fight or beg on my behalf."

"I won't be doing it just for you!" she cried in a hushed whisper, "Think about Keira; she needs you. She is scared enough as it is. Believe me, Remus, seeing you on a morning after is no pretty sight, definitely not one I want to expose I child to. Listen to me, I will do anything in my power to protect you and that little girl, even beg on my knees to Severus Snape."

"Dora…" he pleaded as she pulled on her cloak.

"I'll buy some off the black market if I have to."

"No, you won't!" he exclaimed, "What if you get caught?"

"You used to do it all the time," she argued.

"That's different. You could lose your job over this."

"There's nothing to else to be done. Any of the legal potioneers would have needed advance notice. I am going now; I will see you when I get home. Go ahead and give the kids their potion."

"Dora," he called, his voice louder and more demanding this time.

"I won't be long, Remus. See you in a bit." Before he could move to stop here, she was out the door and apparated away.

She did not walk so much as stormed down to the dungeon potions room. She could feel her hair glow a particularly dangerous shade of red. Tonks did not even pause to knock, but threw open the door with a _bang _that echoed through the dreary dungeon corridors.

"All grades are final. Tears do not move me to pity," Snape muttered curtly without even looking up from whatever he was brewing in a silver cauldron.

"But I'm sure you love to see them cry," Tonks replied dryly.

"Ah, Nymphadora," he said without the slightest hint of welcome, "What brings you here?"

"You know bloody well what brings me here."

"Sorry; I am afraid you will just have to tell me."

"You shorted us on wolfsbane! I know you and Remus had your differences in school, but this..." She trailed off, at a loss for words, "Even I expected better of you."

"So he sent his she-wolf to fight for him. He has always hidden in the shadow of his bolder companions..." Snape sneered coolly.

"Don't. You. Dare!" Tonks shouted, clenching her hands tightly on the desk before her. "He is twice the man you will ever be! You may risk your life for the Order, but you are no great man! You cannot even let go of a schoolboy grudge."

"Perhaps you should learn not to stun or attack people you may later need favors from. I do not need your approval, Nymphadora."

"What you need is a bit of humanity!" she cried, now afraid that Remus was going to suffer for her mistake, "Your actions don't just affect him and me, you know. They affect a little girl who has done nothing to you at all. She is afraid of her condition already; imagine how she will feel after she sees that Remus has ripped himself apart. Have you ever seen him first thing in the morning when he hasn't had wolfsbane? You don't care, but I am going to tell you anyway. Usually, he's unconscious. The first time I took care of him after a full moon, I made the mistake of waking him up. He was in such pain I had to put him out again. Sometimes the blood is unbelievable. Surely even you don't think a seven-year-old should witness that, do you? Don't do it for me or Remus, do it for her. You know I wouldn't come here and beg for myself and Remus wouldn't let me do it for him. But I will do it for her. Please, try for a bit of humanity."

"And are you begging?" he sneered, "It seems to me like you are just demanding."

"Please," she said in a gentle whisper, "Please, Severus, I am begging you for your help."

Snape did not say anything, but continued to pour whatever potion he was working on into glass bottles. He tightly stoppered them, and placed them in a box, which he dropped on the desk in front of Tonks.

"At his age, Lupin requires a stronger potion than I would give a child. This is his potion. Try not to drop it."

Tonks felt the color begin to rise to her cheeks and quickly morphed it away. "You could have told us, at the very least," she huffed. It was humiliating to be proved wrong by Snape of all people.

"I do not dedicate my life to the comfort of you and your husband. Be glad I had time to make the potion at all." She knew that was his intention all along. He wanted to give them this reminder that they depended on him. She did not appreciate his passive aggression. It wasn't her style.

She seized the bottles in her hand and turned on her heel out of the potions room with one last scathing look. Thankfully she did not trip or make any similarly graceful missteps.

Tonks returned home to find Remus propped up on the sofa dozing lightly. The kids had all been sent home and Keira tucked into bed. She set the three glass bottles before him and shook him awake, though he was already alert when she came in. "Snape just finished your potion because it is stronger than the rest."

"See… we shouldn't have assumed the worst," Remus answered with relief.

"Don't you see?! He _wanted_ me to storm in there and look foolish. He wanted us to see us panic and grovel. He is a petty man."

"That he may be, but remember that brewing this potion is a large inconvenience for him. He could have said no when Dumbledore asked. He is doing us a favor by making an extra batch just for me."

"Stop making excuses for him! I'll not have him treat you this way!"

"Drop it, Dora!" he said sharply.

"No, I won't drop it!"

"You should! I don't care and neither should you. If I am not angry you sure as hell have no right to be!"

Tonks drew in a sharp breath. Remus never talked to her like that. He hardly ever talked to _anyone_ like that. She knew it was just the full moon getting to him, but it still hurt.

"Yeah, well, I'm going to bed now… Goodnight." Remus did not even look up to acknowledge her. He now had his face buried in the heels of his hands and his elbows braced against the counter. An empty bottle of wolfsbane glittered under the florescent kitchen lights. She turned away and walked to their bedroom. She found Keira waiting for her by the door, clutching her teddy bear to her chest.

"What are you doing up, sweetheart?" Tonks asked in a falsely cheerful tone.

"I heard fighting," she whispered, "Why are you and Moony angry with each other?"

"Come here," Tonks beckoned. Keira fell into her outstretched arms, so Tonks pulled her into a tight hug and carried her to tuck her back into bed. "Moony and I aren't angry with each other," Tonks assured her.

"Then why were you fighting?"

"Because we care for each other."

"You fight because you care?" Keira asked skeptically.

"It sounds strange, doesn't it? I don't like to see Remus hurting, so sometimes I get hard-headed and try to help even when he tells me not to. He doesn't like to think he is troubling me with his problems, so it frustrates him. When the full moon is coming he gets cranky and sometimes he says things he doesn't mean. Believe me, Remus and I love each other very much. We would never purposely hurt the other, even just with words."

"So you aren't hurt because he said mean things to you?"

"I know he didn't mean them," Tonks answered, because it would be a lie to say her feelings were not hurt. The half-truth satisfied Keira, because she snuggled beneath the covers and closed her eyes.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," Tonks whispered and kissed her forehead before going to her bedroom to get to sleep herself.

Tonks was still awake when Remus crawled into bed next to her over an hour later. His arm reached around her to pull her close. "I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier," he whispered in her ear.

She rolled over so that they were face-to-face. "It's alright," she said.

"No, it isn't. You have just as much right to be angry and upset about my condition as I do. It affects you too. I just don't want you to get into trouble, Dora. I know it isn't a good excuse, but the full moon makes me feel so…"

"Irrational?" Tonks guessed, "Don't forget I that I PMS. I am not the most pleasant person to live with during my time of the month, either."

Remus laughed, "You always seem pretty wonderful to me."

"Right," she said sarcastically, "Let's see what you say about that in a couple weeks."

She kissed him on the lips. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

"Goodnight, love."

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><p><strong>I hope it was worth the wait! Please review and tell me what you think!<strong>


	26. Wolfsbane Dreams

**Hello everyone! This isn't very long, but I really wanted to update before I leave town for the weekend. This is somewhat inspired by the song "Night Terrors" by Laura Marling. It is a great song and I think it fits Remus and Tonks really well. Unfortunately I cannot title this chapter "Night Terrors" because there is already and early chapter that I used that name for. Well, this is what happens when you make it up as you go :)** **I hope you enjoy!**

**General announcement/plea: If anyone is good with graphic art or photoshop or something and you would like to make a cover picture for this or any of my stories, PM me and let me know. Just general rules, no explicit content, must apply to the story, yada yada.**

**Also... Anyone who follows Dear Baby: If you have any scenarios you would like me to write about, PM them to me or put them in a review on Dear Baby. I am not guaranteeing I will use everything (it does still have to fit in with the story I have planned), but since there is really no "canon events" happening for awhile and I don't want a huge gap in the diary entries, I have the opportunity to try something different that can involve readers. I guess it would work like a challenge prompt or something similar. I hope to hear from you all!**

**Well, that's housekeeping stuff done... so Please Read and Review!**

**Oh, just one more thing... I don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p>For the third night in a row, Tonks awoke to Remus tossing and turning and crying out in his sleep. While wolfsbane was a Godsend in many ways, sometimes in high doses it caused horrible nightmares. Remus was on a very high dose.<p>

Tonks couldn't stand hearing him suffer like that. She rolled over and shook him awake. His eyes flew open and searched the room frantically. His breath was coming in short pants and he was damp with sweat. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled herself flush with his side to stop his thrashing.

"Shhh," she whispered, "It was just a dream. You're fine."

Gradually, his breathing evened out and he relaxed into her embrace. "I'm sorry I woke you up again. I really should sleep on the couch."

"We had this discussion before and my answer has not changed. You are not leaving this bed unless you really don't want to sleep next to me."

"You need to get your rest. You have work..."

"I am fine. Don't forget I am not so far from my party all night and go straight to training days. If I could do that several years ago, I would think I am more than capable of waking up during the night a few times to lie awake beside my husband. If I was having problems, I would tell you."

This was a lie, of course. She would not say anything that would add to his burden. As a matter of fact, Kingsley had been noticing her fatigue, and others surely had as well. The combination of work, Order guard duty, and caring for two ailing werewolves without a solid night's sleep was wearing on her. She did not regret any of it, and would not push any of it off on someone else even if she could. Complaining would not make it better in the slightest, so she really did not see the point in saying anything.

"You've never told me about your nightmares. Do you think it would help if you did?" She asked him.

He was quiet for a long moment and Tonks had begun to wonder if he had fallen back to sleep before he said, "No, they are not something you need to worry about."

"Don't be ridiculous," she admonished, "If it worries you, it worries me. We share our burdens; it's called marriage. Please... tell me."

Remus sighed deeply. "They are different most nights. Some I had before the Ministry took me."

"Which ones are those?"

"The ones where I wake up from my transformation and realize that I have killed someone I love. I see your body, and Keira's, and Sirius'…"

"That isn't going to happen. You are always careful, and we all know how to be careful as well. You won't hurt Keira because she is your cub. Sirius is an Animagus, so no worries there, and I pride myself on being a somewhat intelligent woman, Remus, so I can guess the full moon is not the best time to cuddle with a werewolf." He snorted in response, but didn't question her logic.

"So, what about the new ones?" she pressed.

"I dream of Azkaban, the cold, the dark, the hopelessness… The physical abuse—and there was a great deal of it—was nothing, _nothing_, compared to the psychological terror of dementors. I don't think I will forget the emptiness I felt for as long as I live. The things they made me see… Dora, I… I think I'd rather die than go back there."

Tonks brushed away the tears rolling down his cheek. She pulled herself even closer to him and laid her head on his chest. The constricting feeling around her heart was exactly the reason she had never told him about the decision she made after seeing Frank and Alice. She knew Azkaban, though, and she didn't blame him. From what she had heard, the werewolves were treated worse than the normal convict.

"You know," she whispered, "If somebody wants you, they are going to have to fight me."

"Well that's the problem, isn't it?" he laughed humorlessly, "I'm never alone there, am I?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, puzzled.

"They catch us," he said simply, "The Ministry finds out about our marriage or you get caught buying something for me off the black market. They take Keira away and arrest us both. I am powerless to help either of you. She is crying and you are hurt and swearing because, no, you didn't go down without a fight. They drag you both away from me. Somehow, we always end up in cells in Azkaban right across from one another. We can't touch or talk to each other. All we can do is sit and watch each other waste away."

"That isn't going to happen," she assured him, "We are careful. Everyone I work with thinks Kingsley and I are having at it like rabbits every time we are alone in his office. The only ones who know are in the Order. Is there anyone there that you think would betray us? Our lives are in their hands in more ways than this, so I should hope not."

"No," he said, "I trust everyone in the Order with my life. Things just always seem to have a way of going wrong…"

"What can I say to stop your worrying?"

"Promise me that if they do come to take me, you will let them. Blame me. Tell them I threatened you into marriage."

Tonks felt her gut twist painfully. "You know I can't do that. That would mean the Kiss for you, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I suppose all I can promise that I will be by your side through everything, but only because I want to be. No matter how bad things are, you won't have to face it alone."

He wiped away tears on her cheeks she didn't even realize she was crying. "See, now I have upset you. I am sorry, Dora. I shouldn't have said anything. You are right. It is ridiculous."

"Remus, I want you to tell me everything, good and bad. I meant what I said. You are not alone. I want you to trust me to be able to handle it."

"Of course I trust you, Dora. I just want you to be happy."

"And I want the same for you. Everything needs to work both ways. We need to lean on each other, or we'll both fall apart."

"I suppose you are right."

"I know I am," she smiled tiredly and kissed him on the cheek, "I also know it is time for us to be asleep. Sweet dreams."

"Goodnight, Dora," he answered. They held each other close until they both slipped off to sleep.

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><p><strong>Hope you enjoyed! Please review!<strong>


	27. The Wolf Within

**So I have a nice long update for this chapter! It is the first full moon so it has angst! suspense! and... fluff? You will just have to read and find out!**

**I am attempting NaNoWriMo this month, but it is not going very well... but if my fanfic updates slowdown, that is why! I am trying to cram in the about 10,000 or so words I am behind! In my defense, I started six days late...**

**Anyway, I hope you like this chapter! I was a bit conflicted about jumping into the full moon, but I wasn't sure how much more I could bend the timeline without breaking it. Basically the last chapter was two days ago. Enjoy! And please review!**

**I don't own Harry Potter. Sad face.**

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><p>"Focus, Tonks!" Sirius cried, seizing her shoulders.<p>

"I'm trying," she shot back defensively, "but it is hard to do with you yelling in my face."

He let her go and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. It's just... the full moon is tonight. I don't think you are going to make this one."

"But I have to!"

"There are no two ways about it. Either you get it perfect and hold onto your form, or I go home with you and make sure you don't do something stupid."

"But I have the form mostly right..."

"You still smell human though, and werewolves hunt by scent. Unless you can differentiate between a metamorphic shift and an animagous shift I cannot allow you near him or Keira."

Tonks sighed deeply and rubbed the sweat from her brow. She and Sirius had been having these lessons for a couple of weeks now, crammed into "free" hours at lunch and after work, and while she could make herself look like a wolf, she still could not transform into one. She had taken off a half day today to cram in extra practice.

"Don't beat yourself up about it. Two weeks was not a realistic goal to become an animagus. It took me and James months."

"Neither of you were metamorphmagi. I shift all the time. This should not be difficult."

"A metamorphmagus shifts their appearance, not their being," Sirius quoted from the book be had given her, "An animagus changes their whole self."

"You keep a human mind," she argued, "That means you didn't change your whole self."

"Human reason persists, yes, but the human emotional spectrum is muted. There are differences that a metamorphic shift does not account for."

"Fine. I am going to try again." She scrunched up her features and concentrated on the form of a wolf. Her body reshaped itself to fit her will. She knew she had failed when she was on four paws and seeing color. She sighed while Snuffles sniffed her around the ears and huffed. They both shifted back and Tonks was panting with the effort.

"I think you are over-thinking it. You are used to forcing your body into a shape. An animagus shift should just happen; The form is already inside you, you just need to let it out. It is a release, not a push. Try again. Remember, deep breaths."

She nodded and closed her eyes. She felt around her head for the wolf inside of her, but is was always just beyond her reach. Nothing happened.

"Sirius..." she whined.

"No, no, I think it is good you didn't shift at all this time. It means you didn't use your normal morphing to force it."

"I didn't think it would be so hard for me!" she said, brushing away sweat and tears of frustration.

Sirius patted her shoulder bracingly. "Let's call it a night. You're exhausted and Remus will be waiting for you. It is getting late. I will come with you and keep them company tonight."

"I just wanted... I feel like I let them down."

"It doesn't matter. You tried your best, and that is all anyone could expect."

"Now you sound like a mother whose kid didn't make the Quidditch team. This was really important!"

"I never said it wasn't. Come on, let's go to your place and pick up Remus and Keira. Are you going to the shrieking shack?"

"No choice. With everything that has been going on with the wedding and Arthur, Remus and I haven't had a chance to look for a new place where they won't have to leave to change. Of course, he isn't really pushed the move because he thinks I am going to bankrupt myself for him."

"You didn't say you were planning on moving. I thought you liked London."

"I did. Now it makes me feel cornered and claustrophobic. I want to go somewhere with land and woods and no neighbors. Then I am going to make it unplotable."

"Mad-Eye rubbing off on you?"

"Just a bit..."

"Constant vigilance!" he cried hoarsely, making her return a grudging smile.

"We better get a move on then. It is almost four already. Nymphadora," He said in a tone of grave seriousness, "I do believe it is time for you to take me for walkies."

She could not help the giggles that erupted, and he joined in her laughter.

An hour later, Tonks, Remus, Sirius and Keira were sitting on the floor of the Shrieking Shack's front room waiting for the moon to rise. Tonks and Sirius were both attempting to keep Remus and Keira in light conversation to keep their minds off the pain setting into their joints as the moon approached and to keep their spirits up. They were marginally successful. Remus and Keira had just finished their last dose of wolfsbane, and it was almost time for them to go to the back bedroom where Remus had been making his transformations since he was eleven years old. Before they left, Tonks pulled Keira close, because she could not think of anything she could possibly tell a little girl in this situation besides, "I love you." Sirius allowed Keira to ride on Padfoot's back on the way down like he was a small, shaggy pony. Remus began to follow, but held back.

"Please wait at Hagrid's, Dora," Remus pleaded one more time before he left to go downstairs.

"We've discussed this, Remus. I am staying right here and everything is going to be perfectly safe. You've had your wolfsbane and I am warding the door behind you. Nothing can go wrong."

"Please don't say that. It never leads to anything good."

"Fine, Mr. Pessimist," she quipped, "There are a very few ways this can go spectacularly wrong, but I have faith that they won't. Happy?"

"Not particularly."

"Tough. You married me; you're stuck with me. I believe this falls under the 'worse' in the 'for better or worse' bit."

"Fine," Remus huffed, "But please don't do anything that could make things go spectacularly wrong."

"I promise I will be on my very best behavior. Now get down there with Sirius and Keira before you start getting furry."

He smiled at her weakly before turning to the door. "Remus, wait!" she called, and he turned back to her. She closed the space between them and threw her arms around him. "I love you. Please, _please_, stay safe."

He wiped away the tear falling from her eye and pressed his lips to her hair. "I will try, Dora. I love you, too. I really should go now…"

She nodded and released him after placing a quick kiss on his cheek. He shut the door behind him and she set the wards he had requested over it. Then, Tonks sat across from the window and waited for the moon to rise. With the first white glow over the horizon, she knew it was starting. She buried her face in her hands when the screams began. Keira's high-pitched cries stabbed at her heart like a knife slid between her ribs. Remus did not cry out, either because he had known worse or because he was being strong for Keira. She tried to cover her ears to smother the sound, but it continued to echo in her head. Her mind recoiled in horror, and then it happened. The human cries changed to long, sorrowful howls. Something deep within her moved, responding to the cries of her mate and… cub? She felt a pull and followed it. Her body began to change, and she almost panicked and tried to direct it, but she let it happen. Just as Sirius said, this was a release, not a push. Soon she was standing comfortably on all fours, and seeing black and white. She stepped forward clumsily on her paws. Having two extra feet to trip over did not help her already dubious sense of balance. She ran to the door and stood on her hind legs to try to pull down the door handle. Then she felt stupid for forgetting that she had just warded the door not twenty minutes earlier. She could hear snuffling through the door and high pitched yips.

Tonks sat back on her haunches and let out a snort of frustration. She would have to morph back into a human to undo the wards. She was not, however, sure of how to accomplish that, and once a human again, she was not sure if she would be able to go back to a wolf form. Feeling rather daft, she closed her eyes and imagined being human. Again she felt the release of the shift and found herself standing awkwardly on her hands and knees. She collected her wand from where it had skittered across the floor and undid the wards. She pulled the door open slightly so that her wolf-self would be able to get in. Suddenly, a large mass of fur leapt through the open door and pinned her to the ground by the shoulders, a snarl escaping his lips. Tonks opened her eyes to find him gone, and Sirius in his place, hastily replacing the wards over the door.

"Are you completely mad?" he shouted, "You promised you wouldn't try anything this time. You aren't ready!"

"I am ready!" she protested, "I _felt_ it. I didn't force it. The shift just happened, just like you said it would."

"So you were just going to take it on faith that you made a complete shift? You were going to risk your life on that, were you? But answer me this, were you willing to risk Remus' life on it? Forget about what he would have done to himself had he hurt you, think about what the Ministry would have done! He would have been lucky to spend the rest of his life in a cell. It would have meant the Kiss, Dora, and you know it!" By this point he was standing over her and raging in her face, his nose mere inches from hers and spraying her with saliva at every word.

"No… he wouldn't have… the Wolfsbane…" she stuttered guiltily. In her wolf-self's eagerness to reach her mate and cub, she had not thought about the consequences.

"If one ingredient was off, or one procedure was done too early or too late, it may not have had the effect it should. You were lucky. The Wolfsbane is working well and Moony is quiet tonight, but if it wasn't, I might not have been the one to pin you to the ground."

A shiver went down her spine. "I'm sorry… I…" she started crying and wiped furiously at her eyes to hide her tears, "The wolf… she heard her mate and her cub howling. She needed to be there… But I had to be human to open the door, I should have known… I should have stopped myself. So _stupid_.

Sirius softened and helped her of the floor where she was still sitting and hugged her. "I know. I know you're sorry. If the wolf's mind was that strong, it probably would have been okay," he assured her. He held her at arm's length, "Well, let's see it."

"Sorry?"

"Your wolf form. If you want to go down there, I am going to approve your wolf form. If you don't pass, you are staying here, no matter what your inner wolf says… got it?"

Tonks nodded vigorously. She closed her eyes and concentrated on how it _felt_ to be a wolf, running to protect her mate and cub, rather than the form of the wolf. Without any conscious direction, her body reshaped herself, and her vision changed again.

She looked up to see Snuffles standing across from her. He sniffed her carefully, looked her over and gave a barking laugh. He nodded and stood up in his human form. He took down the wards and opened the door for Tonks to enter. She looked up at him, and he nodded again and motioned for her to enter. Her nails clacked against the steps as her made her way down awkwardly on four paws.

When she made it to the ground, the large sandy-brown wolf and the smaller grey pup looked up from their roughhousing. Tonks made herself small and inched forward to roll on her back like she had seen wolves do on the nature channel. Somehow it just seemed right. Moony nudged his nose against her and looked at her with a doggish grin. Yes Remus was in control of his mind, and she let out a huff of relief. The Kiera-puppy lowered into a play bow to encourage Tonks to join in the game she and Remus had been playing earlier. They romped across the floor, and soon Sirius was the middle of it as well.

The rambunctious behavior continued until Keira began to yawn. Tonks nudged her with her snout to curl up next to her on a blanket in the corner. Moony and Padfoot both came to join the pile up, though Padfoot kept himself slightly removed from the little family's huddle. Soon canine snores and the night sounds from outside were the only noise heard in the shack. Tonks exhaled heavily in contentment. There was no doubt that their circumstances were strange, but they were a family nonetheless.

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><p><strong>So what do you think? Constructive criticism is always welcome. If any one has suggestions for Keira or Tonks' wolf forms feel free to leave them in a review or PM them to me :)<strong>


	28. Good Morning

**So sorry for the long wait for this update! I had not realized how much time had past with life getting busy all of a sudden! Hopefully I will update my other fics soon, but it doesn't look like real-life things are going to slow down any time soon. Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story after an unannounced two month hiatus! This chapter is dedicated to Rose Remus Dora and other guest reviewers, whose persistent reviews got me back on track and thinking about this story.**

**I don't own Harry Potter. Somethings never change.**

**Well, I hope you all enjoy this one! On with the story!**

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><p>Tonks was jolted awake by Rumus' jerking body and Keira's howls. Sirius nudged her away with his snout, and she carefully extracted herself from the pileup they had fallen asleep in. She ran to the window to follow the moon's descent below the horizon. She scrambled unsteadily to the top of an old trunk and managed to get a glimpse of the moon disappearing from view. She jumped down and ran back to Remus and Keira. She didn't know what to do, so she licked their faces while they made the transition. Slowly, their human shapes began to take form. Keira was whimpering quietly and Remus was panting. Tonks shifted back into a human and took the little girl into her arms to check her over.<p>

Remus looked over to her groggily. "Are... You... Completely... Mental?" he gasped between short, heavy breaths.

"A little, but you knew that already," she said calmly, cradling Keira more securely against her shoulder so she could lean over to give Remus a kiss on the forehead.

"This isn't a joking matter!" Remus cried, "Stop laughing, Sirius, I haven't even started with you yet. I know you had a part in this."

Sirius silenced his previous soft chuckles.

Tonks frowned and held Remus' hand tightly. "Don't be upset. I am fine. Just... Can we please discuss the later?" She nodded meaningfully to Kiera, who was still crying softly with her head on Tonks' shoulder, "Shh, sweetheart, it is okay now. Where does it hurt?"

"It hurts all over," she whimpered.

"I know. We are going home and Moony and I will fix you up."

"Okay," he nodded, "But we will talk. For now, let's just go home."

Sirius helped Remus off the floor, and Tonks continued to carry Keira. Tonks side-along apparated them all to their flat, including Sirius who was now snuffles.

Carrying them up the stairs was the difficult part. Remus insisted he could walk on his own, but he was still unsteady and in need of help. Tonks was not even going to try seeing if Keira could walk. As Sirius was forced to be on four paws, he was not much help. They went at it slow. Remus kept a firm hold of the fur at the scruff of Snuffles' neck and placed a hand on Tonks' shoulder. Keira remained balanced on Tonks' hip. By the time they made it to the second floor, Tonks was cursing her younger self for not springing for a flat with a lift. Oh, well. They would not be here much longer, with any luck. At least no one saw them.

Together the three of them settled Keira into bed and made her comfortable. Luckily she was not hurt, just sore and scared. The wolfsbane had done its job, but she was still a scared little girl that had just turned into a wolf and back. Snuffles crawled next to her and rested his big, fuzzy head on her knee.

"Dora, can you turn into a dog again and come up here too? Your fur looked soft."

Tonks smiled. "Of course! If I can do it again, that is!"

Remus gave a huff of disapproval, but Tonks just nudged him with her shoulder playfully. She sat on the edge of the bed and concentrated on being a wolf again. To her surprise, it was even easier than before. She carefully stretched herself alongside Keira's slim body and liked her face.

Keira giggled and gave a little squeal. Tonks attempted to smile at her, but the best she could tail that just resulted in her tongue lolling out and her fluffy tail wagging. Keira rubbed her behind her ear. To Tonks' surprise, he hind leg began to start thumping the duvet of its own accord. Even Remus had to laugh at that.

Once she had Dora and Snuffles arranged to her liking, Keira turned to Remus. "Will you tell a story, Moony?" she asked sweetly.

He smiled at the three pairs of puppy dog eyes looking pleadingly up at him. Of the three, the actual canines weren't nearly as convincing in his opinion. Keira had puppy dog eyes down to a science. If she and Tonks teamed up on him when she was using her morphing-Merlin help him! "I certainly will," he said, trying to find himself a place to sit on the crowded bed. He found a place on the very, very edge and began his story. He knew Keira was tired, so he kept it short. He was right and soon she was asleep.

Tonks carefully extracted herself from the little girl's arms. Remus needed her attention now. Snuffles stayed behind to watch over Keira. Tonks shifted back into human form and led him be the hand to their bedroom. "You look like you are about to fall over, Sweetheart," she said, "You go change and lie down and I will be back in a tick with tea and potions."

"I'm fine Dora, why don't you come to bed as well? You don't look much better."

"Two cups of tea then. I won't be a moment."

Remus began to undress and put on his pajamas. Tonks quickly took inventory of any exposed skin she saw. He would try to hide injuries if she just asked. As best she could tell, he walked away from this one without so much as a scratch. She ran to make the tea and fetch the potions before he could catch her at her spying.

Tonks carefully made her way into the bedroom with a cup of tea in each hand and a potion bottle tucked into her pocket. She sat everything on the nightstand next to Remus before she could drop it.

He took a sip and sighed. "Thank you, Dora. It is lovely."

"It really is difficult to mess up tea, dear, but you are welcome anyway." She took off her clothes to change into pajamas. She felt his eyes on her while she dressed.

"Are you enjoying the view Mr. Lupin?" she asked cheekily.

She looked up to see that he looked thoughtful rather than amused. She hated when that happened.

"Since it does not appear that I hurt you last night, I suppose you could say so."

She huffed and flopped into bed next to him. "I knew you wouldn't hurt me. I was a wolf, not a human last night."

"I could not change you or kill you. There is a difference. I could have still hurt you in less severe ways."

"A few bumps and scratches? I do worse to myself on a daily basis. I really don't understand what your problem is."

"My problem, Dora, is that you did this behind my back. You put yourself at risk again for me and this time I couldn't even try to stop you. I know that is why you didn't tell me your plan."

"I should have known. You always overreact when it is something to do with me. I am not a fragile little flower, Remus, nor am I too immature to make my own decisions. I am a grown woman and a capable witch, and it is high time you noticed."

"I do know that. It is not you that I have doubts about. It is me."

"You shouldn't. Last night was less dangerous than the times you transformed with Sirius when you had no wolfsbane."

"But there was some danger."

"You need to see that for me, the danger involved in a day at the office makes turning into a wolf and playing with a werewolf and a pup look about as safe as a tea party. It is all relative. I didn't tell you because you always put yourself last and I wanted to surprise you with this. I can see now that my plan backfired."

Remus softly laid his hand on her cheek to turn her towards him. "I'm sorry. I may not show it, but I am grateful that you would become in animagus for me. I just worry about you; I can't help it. I don't want you to burden yourself for me."

"I promise it is not a burden. I know you wouldn't believe me if I lied and said it is easy, so I won't. I will truthfully say it is worth ever instant and I couldn't be happier."

"Neither could I. Just, would you please tell me next time you do something like this? In return, I promise to be reasonable."

Tonks smiled. "Deal. Does this mean I can keep spending the full moon with you and Keira?"

"I suppose I can't stop you. Just please realize when you are too tired and it becomes too much. You are lucky the day after fell on your off day this time."

"A sleepless night here and there never hurt anyone."

"It does if you are distracted while on a mission."

"I promise I will not do more than I am able. You just need to trust me to know my own limits." She kissed him softly on the tip of his nose.

"I trust you always and in everything. I am sorry that I am over protective sometimes. I will try to be better about it." He assured her.

"And I appreciate the effort."

Remus yawned deeply. "Well, I am tired and your tea hit the spot nicely. I don't suppose you are ready to turn in for the night?"

"You mean the morning? But yes, I could do with a nap."

"Yes, I suppose it is. Sweet dreams, Dora."

"You, too, Remus," she answered, but he had already fallen asleep. Tonks smiled and curled into his side and settled in to sleep.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Please review to let me know you are still hanging in there (and enjoying it... or not).<strong>


	29. Merry Christmas, Darling

**AN: Sorry sorry sorry for the long wait on all of my stories! I have had a bad case of writers block on everything I am writing and it has been a bit disheartening. Basically, I have just been in a writing funk. I have also been busy with school, work, coaching, practicing, and turning twenty! Thank you to anyone who is still bearing with me. Actually, if you are reading this now, you must have clicked on the link. Therefore, you probably plan on continuing on reading (unless you were just curious about what my excuse would be?). So thank you! I will just go ahead with the chapter!**

**I still don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p>Christmas Eve arrived before Tonks knew it, or prepared for it. Between work, the Order, and sitting with Arthur, she had not had much time to prepare. She and Remus had discussed how they wanted to do Christmas, and had come to the agreement to keep it simple and as inexpensive as possible. They had gotten a tree a couple days after the full moon and decorated it together. It was small, but it seemed to make Keira happy nonetheless. They made strings of popcorn and cranberries, which quickly turned into a popcorn and cranberry fight, and used the Christmas baubles that Tonks had stashed in a closet. They had a tree, and a few presents under it. Most were for Keira, but there were small things for the Weasleys, Sirius, Harry, and Hermione. Remus had even managed to buy her a gift without her knowing. She knew that meant Sirius had probably paid for it, but she didn't ask about it. It would just bring up the inequality of their economic situation, and she never brought that up. Especially not now.<p>

With all the gifts under the tree, the only one who didn't have anything was Remus. Anytime Tonks asked him what he wanted, he always smiled and said that her love was all he wanted.

"But I can't wrap that in a package, can I?" She cried petulantly one day before Christmas Eve.

He took a large crimson bow from a nearby box and put it on her head. "There!" He said in a self-satisfied tone, "The perfect gift." She huffed and rolled her eyes playfully, but allowed him to kiss her until Keira cried, "Eww!" and a bit longer than that to make her squirm.

Every day when Tonks came home, she was reminded of how close Christmas was getting and how miserably unprepared she was for her first Christmas married to Remus. Every afternoon it seemed that Remus had conjured some sort of new festive decor, or the kids had made them. Yesterday the flat was filled with the aroma of fresh-baked cookies (and the kitchen covered in frosting). Even Grimmauld Place was looking festive for Merlin's sake!

Maybe if she weren't so concerned with getting the perfect gift then she would be done by now. He would like a new jumper or a book, but they were so unsentimental. Remus deserved something thoughtful and meaningful, not something snatched up on the way home from work. Sirius was no help at all and she didn't want to bother Molly when she had so much else on her mind; what with Arthur in the hospital.

So here she was in Diagon Alley, determined not to leave until she had found nothing less than perfect. It wouldn't be quite so difficult, she decided, if only he would not act pleased by anything she brought home. He would probably even mean it. Flourish and Blotts? No, she had eliminated that. Madame Malkins? No, she had rejected that idea as well. Honeydukes? Could a gift be any more thoughtless?

An advert in a shop window caught her eye. _LOOKING FOR A LOVELY GIFT FOR A LOVELY SOMEONE?_ It inquired in bright, festive gold lettering. Without much hope, she pushed her way through the door. The shop didn't look like much, just a random collection of magical bits and bobs. A bell tinkled to announce her entrance and the old shopkeeper looked up with a smile. "How can I help you, Miss?" he said, hopping down from his stool behind the counter with unexpected agility, "Are you looking for yourself or is it a gift?"

"A gift," she answered truthfully, since she had morphed before shopping to avoid being sidetracked by people who recognized her, "For my husband. It is our first Christmas together and I want something special."

The old man studied her carefully through his thick lenses. "I think I may have just the thing." He turned to a cupboard behind the counter that held trinkets and jewelry and pulled out a small box. He sat it on the table and lifted the lid. Two fob watches were nestled in a silk lining.

Tonks' heart fell a fraction. "I'm sorry sir. I was looking for something a bit more unique than a watch…"

"These are no ordinary watches, girl," the man interrupted, "These are Watchers. They do not tick in time with the passing of seconds, but in time with the beating of the heart of the one who wears its partner. It is an ideal gift for a loved one who is worried about the safety of their Auror wife."

"How do you know I am an Auror?" she asked suspiciously.

"I am not a young man," he insisted, "After all these years, I know how an Auror carries herself. These Watchers are even more special than most. They will take a message and play it only for the one it is intended for. Is that unique enough for you?"

"Why don't the hands move?" On closer inspection she could see that the watch face was painted on.

"Did you really expect them to keep time as well?"

"I will take them," she smiled, "I am sure he will love them."

Once business was settled with the shopkeeper, she left Diagon Alley in a much better mood than before. The gift was unique and it would give Remus peace of mind. Tonks thought it was an all-around success. She waved at the old man behind the shop counter one more time then disapperated back to her flat.

She walked in to find Remus and Keira working on building a fire in the grate. It appeared that Keira was insisting on doing it the muggle way, much to Remus' consternation. Finally, a flame took light on a pinecone and he stood up, dusting his hands on his trousers.

"Happy Christmas Eve, Dora," he greeted with a kiss on her nose.

"Happy Christmas Remus," she returned, pulling him into a close embrace, "And Happy Christmas to you, too, Keira." She let go of Remus to pick the little girl up in her arms and twirl her around a bit until they both fell onto the sofa laughing.

"I'm going to make hot chocolate, would you to like any?" Remus called, ignoring their antics, or at least trying (and failing) to pretend to.

"Yes, please," they chorused together, which only caused them to giggle even more.

A few minutes later Remus joined them with three mugs of hot cocoa. He sat between them and urged Keira to tell Tonks all about their day of making mince pies for Santa Clause.

"Moony," Keira asked, "Since magic is real, does that mean Santa Clause is real, too?"

Tonks and Remus locked eyes briefly while Keira wasn't looking. Tonks bobbed her head quickly and Remus gave a jerk of the head in understanding.

"Of course he is real! Why would you ask such a thing?"

Keira shrugged. "Most of the kids at my old school said he wasn't real, but they didn't think magic was real either. How does he deliver all the gifts in time?"

"He has a very special sleigh." Tonks interjected, "It is enchanted by elf magic. Remus and I can't do the spell; not even Dumbledore can. Only a very powerful elf can."

"Are Santa's elves like Kreacher?" she asked suspiciously.

"I doubt very much there is another elf on this earth quite like Kreacher." Tonks laughed.

"His elves are different than house elves. They are free, for one," Remys assured her, not wanting her to think her toys were built by slave labor, "Their ears aren't quite as large, because they would get too cold at the north pole, and they wear little fur lined suits against the cold. They are just as kind and happy as the muggle stories say."

"I am glad," Keira said, "Does Santa share his cookies and mince pies with them?"

"Of course! Even Santa can't eat that many sweets in one night!" Tonks giggled.

"How old is he?"

Remus looked at Tonks and winked. "Well, I'm not sure about that; what do you think, Dora?"

"You know, I bet he is even older than Dumbledore."

"Undoubtedly," Remus agreed.

"I knew it!" Keira gasped, "Can I meet him?"

Remus' eyes widened slightly, but Tonks cut in smoothly. "I am afraid it is the same for wizarding children as it is for muggles. Santa will not come if you are awake, so off to bed with you if you want any presents. It is getting late."

She was quiet for a moment, and Tonks and Remus shared a worried glance. "Will Santa know where to find me?" she asked quietly, "Will he come at all now that I'm… different?"

Tears prickled at the back of Tonks' eyes but she did not let them fall. Remus drew Keira on to his lap and Tonks scooted closer and took her hand. "You know," she said, "I don't know Santa Clause personally, but has always seemed like a very clever sort. He keeps a good eye on things. I don't think a change of address is going to fool him in the least. And he is as kind and wise as he is clever. He isn't as small-minded as all those people who judge people based on a stigma. He sees who we truly are."

"Is that true, Moony?" she asked, "Will Santa come for werewolves?"

"He always come for me," he assured her.

Keira broke into a wide grin. She grabbed them by the hand and dragged them to her bedroom. She crawled into bed and they tucked her in as usual. "Do you want a story tonight, or are you in too much of a hurry to go to sleep?"

Keira pulled a book from under her pillow and handed it to Remus. "_The Night Before Christmas_?"

Keira nodded. "Mummy and Daddy used to read it to me every Christmas Eve. Could you read it tonight?"

Tonks' heart clenched at the thought of another couple just wishing for their daughter to come home for Christmas. There was one more stocking on her mantle this Christmas, but she knew it was only at the expense of another mantle that was a bit more barren than usual. She knew Keira must miss her family and her home, even if she didn't say so, either by choice or because the spell did not allow her to make such complaints.

"Of course I will read it," Remus assured her. He opened the book and began to read, even though he could probably recite it by heart. By the time he reached the end, Keira's eyes were drooping.

"If there are any other things you want to do tomorrow that you usually do with your Mum and Dad, please remember you can tell us, tomorrow or any day. What does your Mum usually make for Christmas breakfast?"

"Cinnamon rolls," she mumbled sleepily, "With apples and cranberries."

Tonks smiled and kissed her on the head. "Remus and I will see what we can do."

Together they left the room and went to their own to change into pajamas before sitting in front of the now dying fire. Tonks sat in Remus' lap as they sipped glasses of mulled wine (sans cranberries so they would be left for the morning) and watched the glowing embers. Remus stroked his thumb along the blush the hot, sweet wine had brought to her cheeks. He glanced up meaningfully at the mistletoe that was now growing from the ceiling above their heads. Slowly, their lips met in a kiss that tasted of cinnamon and nutmeg.

The clock struck midnight and the kiss was broken. Tonks sighed deeply, but then giggled at the disappointment in his eyes. "Merry Christmas, Mr. Lupin," she whispered.

"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Lupin," he returned with a smile.

"Come on now," she said, taking him by the hand, "Let's go play Santa's elves now that Keira is asleep. After we are done, I have an idea for an early Christmas present…"

"For me or for you?" he laughed.

"A little bit of both, I think," she said with a wink, sauntering off for the stocking stuffers they had hidden in their closet a week or so before. Remus was not far behind her.

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><p><strong>It is a bit more difficult to write Christmas-y stories in February than I would have thought. Please review! It really does help me feel better about my writing and makes it easier to get past the bumps in the road :)<strong>


	30. Gift of Family

**Hello everyone! Sorry for the long wait between updates! It is almost to the point where it is embarrassing to update at all because it only draws attention to how long it has been. The story is still bouncing around in my head, though, so it only seemed fair to share it with whoever is still following it. Hopefully I will do better in the future, but I now know better than to make such promises.**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter! Who doesn't enjoy Christmas fluff in July? Sorry for any typos. This chapter is written on and posted from my iPhone. Please review! I love to see what people like and dislike about my writing.**

**I don't own Harry Potter. Not even a little bit. **

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><p>Tonks groaned when she was awakened by Keira jumping on her knees. Despite her and Remus' best intentions, they had failed to wake up before the energetic little girl to get breakfast started. She rolled over to peek at the alarm clock. It was six o'clock. "You couldn't wait until the sun was up?" Tonks yawned, "What if Santa was running late?"<br>Keira's bouncing immediately ceased. "Does he run late?" She whispered.  
>Remus laughed from underneath his mound of blankets. "Of course not. Dora is just being lazy."<br>Tonks grumbled and grabbed his Achilles' tendon with her cold toes in retribution. He gave a rather satisfying yelp and Tonks smiled to herself as she sat up and pulled down the covers to place a kiss on his forehead.  
>"We haven't put the cinnamon rolls in the oven yet, so breakfast will have to wait, but I don't see any reason we shouldn't get a start on unwrapping gifts. Do you, Remus?"<br>"I don't see why we shouldn't."  
>Keira giggled in delight and ran to the living room. "Don't start unwrapping until we get in there!" Tonks called after her, sharing a bright smile with Remus. They threw on their slippers and dressing gowns before racing to meet Keira before she caved into temptation.<p>

Keira squealed happily at the sight before her. Her stocking overflowed with sweets and little trinkets, both magical and muggle. Brightly wrapped gifts were stacked under the tree.

"Go ahead, then," Tonks urged her.

Keira did not need to be told twice. She grabbed her stocking and dug in. She pulled out fistfuls of sweets, admiring the fizzing wizzbees and sugar quills but looking doubtfully at the chocolate frogs until she was told they were not actually frogs. Tonks gave Remus a smile when he returned from preparing breakfast in the kitchen carrying two mugs of hot chocolate. He curled up under blankets on the sofa with Tonks to join in watching Keira chase after her chocolate frog. His hand found hers and laces their fingers together. They all laughed at Keira's chase and Tonks felt a warm glow settle in her chest.

Once the troublesome chocolate frog was captured, subdued, and dealt with appropriately, Keira moved on to the wrapped gifts. She tore into the bright paper with giddy childish abandon. She smiled broadly at each new discovery, and looked up to thank her adoptive guardians for her gifts. Tonks was surprised with the little girls politeness. She remembered Christmas morning as a rushed flurry of wrapping paper being ripped off and sent flying in the air without so much as a pause to thank the ones who gave her the gifts until, perhaps, after all the unwrapping was complete. While it could just be the newness of their situation-Keira had only been living with them for under a month, after all, Tonks suspected Keira had always been this sweet.

Keira seemed truly delighted by her small stack of gifts that some children would find meager. She was particularly taken with a large stuffed dog that bore an uncanny resemblance to Snuffles, sent by Sirius, of course. A close second was a collection of wizarding fairy tales from Tonks and Remus. It really was a beautiful set, Tonks thought, admiring the gold-stamped leather covers once again. Remus had cringed at the price tag, but Tonks exploited his soft spots for both Keira and books to sway him into splurging. She did not regret it for an instant, and judging by the smile on his face, Remus didn't either.

Tonks and Remus did not exchange gifts until Keira's pile was reduced to a pile of crumpled paper and empty boxes and she was absorbed in playing with her new toys.

Remus smiled and gave her his gift, a small box wrapped in candy cane-striped paper. She pecked him on the lips and began to gently pulling away the paper; her gift receiving manners had improved drastically since she was seven, after all. The box was old and a bit dented in on the edges. "It is a bit of a hand-me-down, I am afraid," he said regretfully.

Tonks took his hand, "I like vintage," she insisted. She removed the cover of the box to find a simple silver necklace settled in the box. It shone brightly in the light from the fire as if it was new. The pendent had a light, delicate ivy pattern and was set around a pearl. "It is beautiful," Tonks breathed as she lifted the necklace from its box.

Remus smiled happily. "I'm glad you like it."

"Your gift is a bit old as well," Tonks said, passing Remus his gift.

He smiled and began pulling away the paper. Tonks chewed her lip as she looked on. He opened the lip and studied the pocket watches inside with their stationary painted-on faces. "Thank you, Dora. These are lovely." The confusion was clear in his voice.

"Do you know what they are?" She asked with a laugh.

"No, I don't. Sorry."

Tonks took one from the box, put it on a chain, and fasted it around her neck. The other she placed in Remus' hand. Then, she placed his hand over her heart and brought the hand holding his watch to his ear. His eyes widened. "I can hear your heartbeat," he murmured.

"They are called watchers. Each watch ticks to the beat of the heart of whoever wears its partner. These also can deliver messages only the intended recipient can hear, for when patronouses are too noticeable."

"These are amazing, Dora."

"You really like them?" She asked excitedly.

"Of course I do. I love them." He kissed her deeply and Tonks felt another wave of contentment wash over her. There was no better way she could think of to spend Christmas morning than snug before the cracking fire with her family.

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><p><strong>Anyone who is still reading, thank you so much! Your support means so much! Please review!<strong>


	31. Boxing Day Morn

**Apologies again for the wait in updating! Yes, I know, I am a terrible person. I started this chapter a month ago, but just figured out how to link it back in to the plot, which I feel like I have been digressing away from in recent chapters. Now I think we are back on track to some sort of forward momentum! I hope you enjoy!**

**I still don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p>Judging from the atmosphere in Grimmauld Place, no one would guess a war was brewing. More specifically, no one would guess its inhabitants knew said war was brewing. The fire cast a warm glow over the crowded kitchen and fairy lights illuminated even the darkest corner. Food was piled high, though those piles were currently being rapidly reduced to crumbs, on the table and the smells saturated the slightly humid air with spiced savory sweetness. Juices pooled under the roast to seep into the Yorkshire pudding. Candied and marzipan fruits stood jewel-bright against the soft white icing of the Yule Log. A stream of carols from the wireless melded with idle chatter in a sort of holiday symphony.<p>

Over all, the whole scene had a rather soporific effect on Tonks. She leaned against Remus' chest where they sat beside one another on the bench. Her cheeks were made warm and flushed by the seemingly unending supply of wine kindly provided by Sirius. The swell of conversation and the laughter of children combined with the steady rise and fall of Remus' chest under her back lulled her into a deeper calm than she could remember experiencing in a very long while.

The day had been like something from another person's life. Though Arthur was still in hospital (Remus had accompanied the Weasleys, Harry, and Hermione to St. Mungo's shortly after lunch), and the sudden presence of children and Grimmauld Place needed to be explained to Harry and the Weasley boys in such a way that they wouldn't be urged to attack Umbridge upon their return to Hogwarts (tragic attack in a village displaced refugee children), everything unpleasant sank below the surface, not to fester, but to be soothed. The laughter of children rang out to fill the darkest corners of Tonks' mind and she was content. Keira and the other children were playing an after-dinner game of exploding snap. The firelight and flashes of the tiny explosions danced on the faces of those gathered in the kitchen, and even Harry who had been so solemn was smiling as he spoke with Sirius, Ron, and Hermione. Filled to the eyeballs with Molly's lovely food, Tonks finally fell asleep against Remus' chest.

She woke in one of the upstairs guest bedrooms that had been cleared as fit for human habitation. Remus, who had nudged her awake, put a finger to his lips to indicate Tonks should not wake Keira, who was asleep beside her. "What is it?" she mumbled quietly.

"We are having a meeting," he whispered.

Tonks groaned and looked at the clock. "At… Merlin! Three in the morning on Boxing Day?"

"It seems there has been a recent increase in werewolf attacks. Dumbledore is on his way now," he stated grimly. That had her attention. Quickly, she slipped out of bed and wrapped herself in a dressing gown. She and Remus padded down the stairs to join the sleepy-eyed congregation in the kitchen below. The scent of coffee was wafting out of the kitchen, mingling with the left over smells from Christmas dinner, and the aroma hit Tonks' nose before they even made it through the kitchen door. Almost all of the Order was present, clad in dressing gowns and slippers. Tonks hoped there was not an active attack that needed dealing with. At the moment they would make one of the least dignified counter attacks in history. That would be the only reason it went down in the books and Binns would still manage to make it boring. She needed more sleep. She slumped in her customary chair between Remus and Sirius, who was just blinking into alertness as though he had been actually taken from his bed and dropped in the chair. Or as if he had fallen asleep at the table. Either possibility was equally likely. With a nod of thanks, she accepted the mug of coffee Molly pressed into her hands.

Her eyelids were just beginning to droop when the fireplace glowed green and Dumbledore ducked out of it, shaking the last remnants of ash from the hem of his festive silver robes. Cautiously, she lifted one eyelid to investigate the source of the sudden flare and resisted to urge to groan. Between this and that, Dumbledore had been curiously absent as of late. As a matter of fact, she had not seen him since the wedding. Considering the tasks that awaited them as soon as Dumbledore wasn't too busy to be concerned with them, he was possibly the last person she wanted to see on Christmas. Unless it was Snape, who, to her dismay, came forth from the hearth on Dumbledore's heels.

Dumbledore did not waste much time on pleasantries but cut to the chase. "I am sorry to take you from your beds this early morning, but I am even sorrier to report that there has been an outbreak in werewolf attacks across the country. I believe Remus met one of the victims when he escorted Molly and the children to visit Arthur." Tonks looked at Remus sharply, but he did not meet her eyes and only nodded to Dumbledore, who continued with his speech. "When he notified me at the time, I believed it may be an isolated incident, but reports are slowly coming in on more attacks. It seems that victims have been trying to avoid treatment to escape capture by the Ministry. Unfortunately, three have died from their wounds and lack of proper treatment. Others are in hiding, either with help from their families and friends or cast out completely."

Tonks cast a quick glance at Remus, whose face was firmly arranged in a blank expression. However, there was a tightness to his jaw that belied his tension and disgust. She entwined her hand with his and squeezed it lightly. He met her gaze with a weak smile, and she let her head fall briefly on his shoulder.

"I suppose I will ask the obvious question," Tonks said, "Does the Ministry know of these attacks and the status of the victims? It has been weeks since the last full moon. Is there any hope at all that we may find them first?"

"So far as we know, the Ministry has no more information than we do. If we hurry, yes, we may find them. From there, we can only help them across the border to more hospitable countries. They will still face prejudice, but they will not be taken for slaves. The Ministry must capture them and perform the spell in person before they are bound."

"When can we start?" Moody growled from his post in the corner. He was the only one besides Snape and Dumbledore who was fully clothed. Tonks was convinced he slept with his boots on.

"We will start sending out groups of two as soon as possible, at sunup preferably. I am sure there will be bounty hunters as well, because the Ministry will soon be setting a price for freshly caught werewolves if they haven't already, so we must proceed with caution. Searchers must go out in parties of at least two, but no more than four to avoid drawing attention. So please, go and make whatever preparations you need to make to leave as soon as possible. Those of you who are guardians of children, Molly has agreed to watch over them with the help of her children."

Everyone began to rise from their seats to go about their preparations, including Remus and Tonks. However, Dumbledore called them back. "Nymphadora, Remus, I need to speak with you."

Tonks sighed because she knew this was probably not good. Remus took her hand and they sat across the table from Dumbledore, who had left the head of the table for the seat opposite their usual places.

"Remus," Dumbledore said softly, "I trust your recovery is progressing well."

"Yes, thank you, I feel almost returned to my usual form. There are just a few spots that are still healing." These spots, Tonks knew, were two large black marks on his back that must have been left by some sort of curse if their stubborn refusal to heal quickly was any indication.

"That is excellent to hear, very excellent indeed. I'm sure you remember what we spoke about before, regarding you and Nymphadora testing the limits of the binding spell." They both nodded reluctantly, each knowing the pain these tests would inflict on the other.

"I would like for the two of you to begin your trials soon. You may do this on your own, or Madam Pomfrey and I can supervise. It is entirely between the two of you."

"I want someone else to be there," Tonks said quickly, and Remus nodded to echo her sentiments.

"Very well, then. We will set a time soon, after the search is completed, hopefully for the better. Until then, I believe your energies are better directed towards the search."

"My energies, sir?" Remus asked softly.

"Of course. You will be invaluable in the search because you will be able to help the victims feel more comfortable. Beyond your not inconsiderable capabilities as a wizard, of course."

"We will go as partners, then." Tonks insisted, squeezing Remus' hand, "I'll not have him risk getting recaptured."

"Certainly. Will the two of you poke around Kent a bit? There is supposed to be a middle-aged man hiding in a wooded area somewhere in the area. After that, we will begin on your other project. I fear it will be more crucial than ever."

"Why is that?" Tonks asked.

"Because it is likely someone is ordering these attacks." Remus spat, "Someone is using their werewolves as weapons."

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><p><strong>So... Yay plot with conflict and stuff! Please read and review. I would love to hear opinions on the way the story is going.<strong>

**Also, shout out to SiriuslyLoopyDora who is writing a spin-off of this story in which The Marauders, Lily, and Snape read this fic. I really am super flattered to have a fanfiction of my fanfiction! You should really give it a look if you enjoy this story! Hopefully this will be the kick in the pants I need to start updating more frequently****!**

**Thanks again for reading and please review!**


	32. The Werewolf of Kent

**I am embarrassed by how long it took me to update this, and my general laziness when it comes to my writing lately. Life is just being crazy, and it is hard to find time to do much of anything anymore! I hope there are people out there who still enjoy and care about this story. Rest assured, I do have plans to finish it. If there is still one person who likes it and asks for an update, and as long as I still have the words to write this, it will continue! Thank you to everyone who is still hanging in there!**

**I don't own Harry Potter.**

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><p>Though they had three hours before they left in search of the newly changed werewolves, Tonks could not return to sleep. She and Remus laid in bed with Keira between them, but his back was turned so that she could not tell if he was asleep.<p>

"Remus?" she whispered.

"Mmhum," he grumbled in response.

"I can't sleep," she said, feeling very childish.

He rolled over to face her. "Neither can I. There doesn't seem to be much point when we leave for Kent in a few hours."

"How do you think this will go... I mean if he is attempting to hide, I don't think he will be pleased to see us."

"I'm not sure. I suppose we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Hopefully we can get him to come without force. Perhaps we should talk to his family first. Maybe someone is still in contact?"

"I think we should only do that if there is no alternative. I only know that if someone came asking after you under similar circumstances, I would hex them off the door mat and ask questions later. And I agree that force is to be avoided at all costs. The poor guy is probably hurt, and he has done nothing wrong."

"But Dora, you cannot hesitate if force is called for. He may be dangerous because of his fear."

"I fight bad people, Remus, not victims of violent crimes that are scared out of their wits."

"Dora," he warned, "You must promise me you will protect yourself, or *I* promise we will not leave this house this morning. A leg locker jinx won't hurt anyone."

"I am a professional, Remus. I can take care of myself, and I will if it is absolutely called for. I am trained to make that distinction."

"I trust you, Dora. I just don't want to see you hurt."

"I know," she replied, falling silent for a while. After a few minutes, she thought she heard Remus' breathing even out in sleep. She sighed quietly in the quiet darkness.

"What is it?" Remus whispered.

"I thought you went back to sleep."

"I told you I couldn't. What is on your mind?"

"Have you thought any more about moving?" she asked, "I know we haven't had much time to worry about that lately, but I still worry. I will worry even more now if it is true someone is building a werewolf army."

"Perhaps you are right, but you mustn't stretch yourself to thin financially. I can work..."

"Out of the question. The children need you, and Dumbledore already pays you some for your work code breaking."

"Making me the only Order member that gets paid," he muttered bitterly.

"Yes, but you are also the only one who works on Order business full-time. You do crucial work. Besides, we were talking about moving, not your work. I want to start looking next week, if that is okay. Maybe we can both look over the listings in the Prophet and compare our choices after work each day? You could even look at them with Keira."

"Yes, I think she will like that, though I'm not sure she is to the stage where she understands budgeting."

"Someone has to be the dreamer," Tonks smiled, "Now I think I am going to get ready to leave. Will you come? I don't know about you, but eggs, tea, and toast would do me a world of good."

Remus nodded his agreement and the two of them quietly dressed and ate so that they would not wake Keira or anyone else in the house. They woke Sirius before they left so he could move to their room to watch Keira. The sun was just appearing over the row of houses when Tonks and Remus crossed the threshold of Grimmauld Place to apparate to the small village in Kent where the man, Jeremy Gray, disappeared.

The forest they appeared in was dimmer that the London street they left, and a dense fog was just beginning to fade away. They searched around for any sign of life in the underbrush, but it was difficult to distinguish what may be a deer trail, or what could be an injured man stumbling to safety. "Should we call out to him?" Tonks suggested after a half hour of fruitless searching.

"I am afraid that will only make him run or hide," Remus answered, "I'm assuming he knows about the new legislation if he did not check himself into St. Mungo's. I doubt he will come to us."

"If we could just find the site of the attack..." Tonks began, not wanting to finish with we could follow the blood trail. Remus met her eye with a grim look and nod that indicated he knew exactly how the sentence would end. "Let's spread out a bit and keep looking," Tonks suggested, "We will be able to cover more ground."

"Okay," Remus agreed reluctantly, "But we should not leave each other's sight."

The forest slowly brightened and the fog lifted. Once they were able to see better, it took only another hour to find the site of the attack. It was in a small copse of bushes, hidden from the sight of passersby. She only found it by the drag patterns indicating that the werewolf had probably pulled his victim undercover before beginning the attack in earnest. Tonk's stomach turned at the sight of so much blood. She could not imagine how a grown man could survive this, much less Keira or Remus who were attacked as small children.

"Remus, I-" she began to shout, but was cut off by a hand firmly at her throat. She was overcome by the smell of rot. A wand was pressed under her chin. "I wouldn't scream if I were you, sweetheart," he muttered, "I don't want to hurt you. Put down your wand. Tell your partner you just tripped. I am going to let go of your throat now."

The pressure eased, but he kept a firm grip on her hands. Tonks took a deep breath, massaging her neck.

"We are only trying to help you," she whispered.

"I'm sure," he said with a bitter laugh, "Now call your partner off." He tilted his head to the sound of Remus crashing through the underbrush. "Sounds like it is too late for that. I really did not want to do it this way." He resumed his grip on her neck, dragging her out of the bushes to meet Remus' panicked gaze.

"Stop where you are," the man commanded, "Drop your wand."  
>Remus put his hands up, slowly bending to put his wand on the ground. "Okay, just calm down. I am doing as you say," Remus assured in his calmest voice, "Are you Jeremy Gray?"<p>

Tonks could feel the man behind her tense. "What do you want with him?" he said, jabbing Tonks with his wand.

"We only want to help. We know what happened to you. You were attacked by a werewolf, and I am sorry, but you are now one yourself."

"No! That is not true!" the man shouted. He was growing weak, Tonks could tell. Most of his weight was now pressed on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry," Remus said truthfully, "But it can be okay. I am a werewolf, too."

"So they sent one of the monsters out to collect me?" he scoffed.

"Shut your mouth!" Tonks snapped against the pressure on her windpipe, "Remus has never hurt a soul!"

"What? Is she a werewolf, too? Or is she your handler?" he sneered.

"She is..." he met Tonks' eyes, and she nodded stiffly to his silent question, "She is my wife."

The man nearly dropped Tonks out of shock. "No. Impossible. All registered werewolves were taken away and sold, like you want to do with me."

"She bought me to keep me safe. We married in secret, so we will have to trust you not to tell anyone. I can show you the slave mark on my neck if you need the proof." He turned around and lifted his hair that he had let grow long over his neck. Tonks closed her eyes. She did not need to see _N. Tonks_ written there in scar-white flesh. "Please let her go," she heard Remus beg fervently, "We will not force you to come with us. We just want to give you help getting out of the country. You can refuse and continue hiding here, but if you hurt her, you will not get any help. You will only get to hope I give you a head start before I start hexing you." The man seemed to consider this, his grip on Tonks loosening. "I can smell the infection from here," Remus called desperately, "How long do you think you will last once your wounds turn septic? Ordinary magic cannot treat werewolf bites, but we have a healer that can help you."

The man let go of Tonks completely, merely balancing himself on her shoulder. "I suppose I don't have a choice do I?" Jeremy swayed on the spot, and Tonks was barely able to turn around in time to catch him.

She lowered his limp body to the ground carefully, straining against the weight. Remus ran towards them and threw his arms around her. "Are you alright?" he asked, searching her body for injuries.  
>"I'm fine," she assured him, "It is him I am worried about now. His fever is burning. Madam Pomfrey needs to see him now. Could you grab my wand? It fell in the bushes over there."<p>

Remus nodded and went to search the bushes. Tonks began bandaging the worst looking wounds on Jeremy's shoulder and calf, binding them tightly so that they were not damaged even more during apparation. Jeremy groaned in pain when she touched anywhere near his injured shoulder. His skin burned under her hands. "Shh," she hushed him, "It will be fine. We will get you fixed up. Just don't panic." He just groaned quietly in response. As soon as Remus rejoined her with his wand, she apparated the three of them to the safety of Grimmauld Place and Madam Pomfrey's care.

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><p><strong>Please leave a review to tell me what you think! Was it worth the wait? Are you still interested in this story? Constructive criticism is always appreciated!<strong>


	33. The Werewolf's Wife

**Sorry this has taken so long! I am a terrible person!**

**I am a terrible person... who does not own ****_Harry Potter_****.**

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><p>Madam Pomfrey had been in with her new patient for over an hour now. Every so often Tonks and Remus would hear mutterings from the healer and grunts of pain from the man that they had carried in on their shoulders. Molly ran in and out of the room with warm water and clean rags floating behind her. Neither Tonks nor Remus said anything for quite a while. "He wasn't going to hurt me," Tonks muttered, mostly for something to say.<p>

"If we had have been able to talk him down, then yes he would have. He is not himself, Dora. He was in intense pain and probably delirious with fever. We were just lucky his mind had enough control..."

"I just don't want you to blame him."

"It is not his fault. I just know what that is like. It is frightening, and I was terrified because I know how hard it was for him not to hurt you," Remus paused a moment, "Although the feral part of me was ready to attack him for laying hands on my mate."

"Your mate," Tonks repeated with a small smile.

"I'm sorry... I know it sounds so possessive and..."

"Sexy?"

Remus blushed furiously. "You think that is... sexy?"

"Just a bit, yeah." Tonks could not hide her smirk anymore. She twisted around to peck him on the lips. "I would snog you right now if Madam Pomfrey wasn't about to come out that door."

"Let's contain ourselves. We would not want to put on a show where children can pop in at any moment either."

They sobered after that, thinking about the new werewolf in the next room and what they could possibly do for him. After about two and a half hours, Madam Pomfrey emerged looking rather exhausted herself. "His condition is stable and, God willing, he will be well enough to move him somewhere safe."

"Is he resting comfortably?" Remus asked.

"He is asking to speak with you two, actually," Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips as though visitors were a highly irregular occurrence and best avoided at all costs.

"Both of us?" Tonks asked.

"Just you at first, dear," Madam Pomfrey said, "Mr. Grey has insisted on it."

"Me? Why?"

"I don't know," the nurse sniped, "I did not think he needed to undergo an inquisition on top of everything else. Now, get to it. He needs his rest."

Tonks squeezed Remus' hand then got to her feet. He gave her a tight smile and encouraging nod. The spare bedroom that had been converted to a hasty makeshift clinic was still musty and smelled faintly of mildew, but was as fit for habitation as any of the other rooms in Grimmauld place. The ancient heavy oak bed that had dominated the room had been dispatched in favor of several smaller beds with crisp white hospital linens that now lined the wall. Jeremy Grey was the room's only occupant, and so was easy to spot despite the way his pale coloring threatened to fade into his pillow and the blankets pulled up to his chin. He seemed to be asleep, but stirred at the sound of Tonks' steps despite her efforts to soften her footfalls.

"Hello there," she greeted with all the cheeriness she could muster. "You are looking quite a bit better." It wasn't entirely a lie, because he was cleaned up and no longer a sickly green color.

"I feel quite a bit better," he said with a faint smile, "I wanted to say sorry for before, for you know..." He gestured to the faint purple bruises his hands left on her neck. Tonks cursed in her head. She thought she had removed them.

"Oh, no worries," Tonks smiled, "I've had worse."

"Does he... I mean... Has he 'done worse' to you."

Tonks felt her eyes darken and her hair threaten to flare in anger, but she controlled it. Barely. "Remus has never laid hands on me," she spat, "I will walk out of this room if you continue to talk about him that way."

"I'm sorry," he apologized, "I... It's just... I've a wife, too. I only want to know if I am a danger."

Tonks softened. "For all but one night of the lunar cycle, you will be the same man you have been, the man she married."

"Sorry," he said again, "That is just what I wanted to ask you. What is it like being married to a werewolf?"

Tonks chewed on her lip. "Not easy," she said finally, "Remus and I have never had a public relationship. He did not want me to bear his stigma, now more than ever. Since we met through a secret society, it was not difficult to keep our visits quiet. It was very difficult to convince him he could be loved, that he deserved to be loved. That was the hardest part. I did not know Remus before he was bitten. I chose to be with him, knowing about everything. I think that both confused and scared him."

"But it is different for Lila. We married when we were young and I was healthy."

"It is different for you. I won't lie, there is so much misinformation about werewolves that people are taught to fear them from the time they are children. Does your wife know what happened?"

"I haven't told her," he said, "If I was going to be a monster and a slave, I thought it would be better if she believed me dead."

"I can't force you to tell her, and I won't do it myself without your consent, but I can tell you that not knowing is the worst feeling possible. She must have a choice."

"How can I burden her with this?"

"You won't burden her. It is not nearly as bad as being a widow."

"So you recommend that I tell her?"

"Yes, I do," Tonks said earnestly, "I can even try to bring her to you."

"You would do that?" he asked with the first gleam of hope Tonks had seen in him since she met him.

"There will be things to work out logistically… This is a secret headquarters after all, so we can't go around telling people about it… but perhaps there is a way around that. I will do what I can."

"Thank you," he said, "For everything. What will happen now?"

"We will help you relocate somewhere on the continent. We will try to get in touch with some friends in France. Once you cross the channel, the Ministry won't be able to touch you. We will also relocate your wife if…"

"If she is not too afraid to be near me?"

"Yes," Tonks said, "But give her time. It is going to come as quite a bit of a shock."

Jeremy snorted, "That is quite the understatement."

"You never know until you try. Either way, once we help you relocate, we will find someone to help you assimilate. First things first, you will talk to Remus about managing your lycanthrope. He has been dealing with his since he was seven, and I'm sure he will tell you that the treatments have improved greatly since his childhood. We can only hope they will get even better in the future. Shall I go get him now? He will be better at answering most of your questions than I am."

"I suppose so. Yes, send him in," Jeremy sighed, shifting uncomfortably. "He is not still upset is he?"

"He understands what happened, perhaps better than anyone. He just wants to help you; that is all any of us want."

Jeremy nodded in relief, and his eyelids drooped slightly. Tonks quietly backed out of the room to fetch Remus. "Your turn," she smiled at Remus, "Play nice."

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><p><strong>Please review! I am not saying it will help me be faster... I am just saying it couldn't hurt! I also have an update to Dear Baby in the works. Thanks for reading!<strong>


	34. The Bearer of Bad News

**Sorry for an errors. I wrote this and posted it on my phone. Thanks to everyone who is still reading. ****_Your_**** opinions matter to me! Please review!**

**I don't own ****_Harry Potter._**

Tonks did not have to wait long for Remus to join her in the kitchen after talking to Jeremy. He fell heavily into his chair, letting his head fall into his hands. "He's resting now," he sighed heavily.

"How did it go?" Tonks asked cautiously, placing a comforting hand between his shoulder blades.

"I had to describe to him the many ways in which his life is ruined and act positive about it. Yes, it went splendidly."

"Remus..." she interrupted, taking one of his hands in one of hers and cupping his face in the other.

"I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head sadly.

"It is perfectly fine," she reassured him, "We are running on little to no sleep and we have had a stressful day. I know what you did was... difficult."

"I tried to reassure him, I really did. Dora, you told him we would try to bring his wife to him?"

"Yes," Tonks confirmed as if it was obvious.

"What do we tell him if she says no?"

"She does not know what happened yet."

"Even worse! We need to tell her before we bring her here... if we can bring her here. If he tells her and she reacts badly, it will crush him. Her rejection would set him back immensely."

"I was only trying to give him hope!" Tonks defended.

"I know you were, but you don't understand how most people see lycanthrope. You have not been rejected and hated and abused your entire life for it. Besides you, Sirius, Lily, James, the Order, and my parents, I have been almost universally hated by everyone who knew what I was. You can't expect the world to share your views."

"Don't patronize me Remus. I might not understand being a werewolf, but I know a bit about being a freak and being treated accordingly. You cannot expect the worst of everyone either. She deserves a choice, and he deserves a chance to be loved. I do understand that."

"Fine, but we will tell her first. If she is frightened, we do not bring her anywhere near Jeremy, out the Order at all for her. The last thing he needs is the hatred of someone he loves."

"Okay, Remus," Tonks agreed, "I will visit her and tell her what has happened. Hopefully I am right and the two will soon be reunited."

In reality, it took two weeks of security tests and planning to work out the logistics of Mrs. Greys's visit with her husband. Jeremy was slowly on the mend. Though the bites were slow to heal, he had recovered from the worst of the infection. He asked about the plans to see his wife almost everyday. Much to Remus' displeasure, it was decided that Tonks and Kingsley would go meet Lila Grey at her home as though they were there as Aurors. He was, at least, pleased that Tonks did not have her way to go alone, but was instead partnered with Kingsley, who was in all honestly quite a bit more physically intimidating than Remus. So he was sat reading real estate listings by the fire in Grimmauld Place while Sirius gave his commentary on each individual house. His mind often wandered to Tonks, and the effect the success or failure of her meeting could have on Jeremy.

When Tonks and Kingsley materialized in the field not far from the Grey's house, she realized it was also very near where the found Jeremy. The woods she and Remus searched were only a stone's throw away. He could have been attacked in the back garden and dragged by the werewolf into the woods, where the mauling in the underbrush occurred. A small difference in timing could have caused his wife to be attacked instead. Hopefully, the wolf did not return to the scene to find her investigating the source of the commotion in the garden.

Tonks and Kingsley waded through the thigh-high grass until it gave way to a cut lawn through a wood split rail fence. With a short nod to each other, they pulled out their badges and Tonks knocked at the blue door.

When Lila Grey opened the door, both Tonks and Kingsley noted the wand held loosely down by her side, clearly not on the defensive. She was a slight woman, with a tanned complexion and fluffy blonde hair that grew in tight curls. Her eyes were slightly red, and had dark circles underneath. She wore a floral calico print button up and her jeans had mud stains from the garden. Overall, she was not a very threatening sight but, Tonks noted with approval, she did look like a woman who missed her husband.

"Mrs. Lila Grey?" Tonks checked, presenting her badge for her inspection as Kingsley did the same, "I am Auror Tonks and this is Auror Shacklebolt. May we come in? We need to talk to you about your husband."

"Oh God, is he alright?" Her face was pale, and her hands were tightly clenched.

"Mrs. Grey, we should come inside to talk about this."

"Lila... call me Lila," she protested nervously as she ushered them into the sitting room and began banging around in the kitchen after muttering something about tea. She was back in less than five minutes, bearing a tray with a teapot and three cups. Tonks and Kingsley shared a look.

"Thank you, Lila," Tonks said in her most soothing tone, accepting the offered cup but waiting for Lila to take a sip of her own before drinking any.

Once Lila had perched nervously in her armchair, Kingsley nudged Tonks subtly with his elbow, indicating that she should take the lead. He slouched back into a less threatening, more relaxed posture, distancing himself physically from Lila and Tonks. Tonks, on the other hand, leaned forward towards Lila and talked calmly and lowly, as though their conversation was held in the strictest on confidence-secrets passed between friends.

"Lila, do you know where your husband is?"

"I'm not sure what you mean. He'll be along, I'm sure. Just went for a bit of a walk. He does that sometimes when he wants to unwind." Lila closed her mouth abruptly, seemingly only just aware she was babbling.

"Lila," Tonks urged, "you don't need to lie to me. We know your husband is missing."

She shook her head in distress. "Stupid, stupid!" She muttered, "Of course you would have realized when he did not come to work at the Ministry."

"Why do you think you need to lie to us?"

She eyed Tonks' wedding ring. "Wouldn't you lie too, if your husband went missing when a wild werewolf was on the loose?"

Tonks managed a weak smile. "I suppose I would do what I could to protect him."

"I know what you people are doing to werewolves. Jeremy said that they are selling them as slaves. He opposed it from the beginning; said it was immoral. He went to Azkaban to inspect conditions and to the sale. He said the way they treated them was worse than he could bear to treat a dog. Now you want to take him too. This attack can not be random. The Ministry is trying to shut him up!" Lila seemed to grow in boldness as she spoke, giving voice to her fears for the first time.

"I don't think so either, Lila," Tonks said quickly, taking her hand.

"Tonks..." Kingsley warned in a low voice, knowing they were fast approaching the point where they would have to show their hand.

"Sorry?" Lila questioned.

"I also do not believe that the attack on your husband was random. I think what the Ministry is doing to werewolves is awful. That is why I am not looking to turn Jeremy in."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because we have found him. He is being seen to by a healer with experience seeing werewolf bites."

"So it is true... he was bitten," Lila said sadly, "Does this mean...?"

"Yes," Tonks answered sadly, "He is a werewolf himself now."

Lila began to cry, and Tonks shot an unsure glance at Kingsley. She had never been the one to bring bad news to a family member. That duty usually fell to the older Aurors like Mad-Eye or Kingsley. He just waved her on.

"He is alive, though," Tonks said hopefully, "and he can live a good life and keep his lycanthrope under control."

This did not seem to reassure Lila all that much. "But the ministry will take him away! And how can you say that things will be even close to normal? What do you know?"

"Quite a lot considering I am married to a werewolf myself."

"You... what?"

"I fell in love with and married a great man who happens to be a werewolf."

"Is that... dangerous?"

"We stay apart during the full moon, of course. Not much in to doing it doggie style myself."

From the look on Lila's face Tonks guessed that her attempt at humor was misplaced. She cleared her throat. "I'm sure by now you have guessed that my partner and I are not here on official Auror business. We are members of a secret organization called the Order of the Phoenix dedicated to fighting Voldemort and his Death Eaters. We received word on a werewolf attack and attempted to find the victim before the ministry could get to them first. Jeremy is now at our headquarters recuperating and awaiting relocation with our partners in France."

"He is leaving?" Lila asked quietly.

"Yes," Tonks answered, "It is the only way to keep him safe. We have come to ask if you would like to join him."

For the first time, Kingsley interjected, "I am afraid you must decide immediately. If you do not wish to come with us, we must modify your memory. We cannot have our members' identities become common knowledge." His voice was not threatening, but it left no doubt that he meant every word.

Lila looked slowly around her sitting room, to her kitchen, at the pictures perched on the mantle. "Yes," she whispered, "Of course I will come. Do I have time to pack us each a few things? I want to see him now."

Tonks nodded. "Just take a few things for now. We can return later to pack anything else once we know where you are going."

Lila stood stiffly from her chair and ran up the steps. She came back a few moments later with a rucksack slung over a shoulder. Wordlessly, Tonks and Kingsley followed her out to the back garden. Tonks gently took her hand and apparated them to Grimmauld Place.


End file.
